I went on a casual drinks date with a dude who was perfectly cute and nice but I felt zero spark.
However, he has asked me each subsequent day to hang. I don’t want to give him false hope or string him along, but I feel uncomfortable telling him straight up that I don’t think it’s going to work.
Usually I’m on the other end of this, but I get the picture (“He’s just not that into me”) pretty fast. Now that it’s flipped, do I cowardly continue to give excuses and hope he “gets it”? He is moving in a month, by the way… Or do I do the aggressive, one-date “break up”?
-She’s Just Not That Into Him
People! Listen up: This is EXACTLY how a boy acts when he is interested in you. He’ll ask you out. You guys will go somewhere. He’ll follow up with a “So glad we did that, let’s do it again soon” kinda text.
Next, he will ask you to hang out again and again and again, because he wants to see you and he’s making his intentions extremely clear. It’s a cut and dry, black and white scenario.
But back to the matter at hand: it’s entirely up to you what you do next. You can easily avoid him for a month, and then heave a sigh of relief once he’s moved away. It’s an option, but it’s not your best option.
I would personally be upfront. Tell him that it was nice to hang out, but that you didn’t feel a spark so you’d just like to be friends. And you know what? You might actually get to be great friends. I’ve had situations with girls where I was interested and they weren’t, or they were interested and I wasn’t, and whenever the message was sent loud and clear in the early stages, everyone was on the same page so nobody’s feelings got hurt.
However. Whenever either one of us never mentioned anything again and then hoped we’d avoid that person for the rest of our lives, of course we ran into each other 18,000 times over the next six months in the least opportune of moments.
So be honest! Don’t apologize, just tell him what’s what (in the kindest manner possible while firmly getting the message across). He’ll respect you for it, and you’ll feel good about the situation. Esteemable acts create self-esteem, after all.
And ladies, next time you’re wondering about why some guy is or isn’t texting back, come back and read this question: THIS IS HOW A GUY ACTS WHEN HE LIKES YOU!