I am intimidated by cats. I used to mistake my attitude toward Taylor Swift’s feline friends for fear, but now I’m certain that what I feel is intimidation. There’s a fine line between the two emotions; fear suggests an element of irrationality while the latter is often justified. And cats? I know it may be sacrilegious to say, but those lithe creatures are well aware of their intent to frighten.
I say this not to offend my office mates whose owner/cat relationships put T-Swift’s to shame, but to draw a potentially irrelevant comparison between mousers and spring’s most irrefutable trend, the cropped flare pant.
Both are as intimidating as caviar on a sour-creamed blini. Especially if you, like me, are short, and the people carrying said trays of blinis tower above you like NYC skyscrapers hell-bent on not using their knees. To those people I say, “I don’t like caviar anyway!” But I do liked cropped pants. It’s just, how does one adopt a trend that exaggerates a short frame?
My mother, who comes in at a proud 4’11”, taught me the lengthening power of the flare pant. The wide-leg silhouette elongates the leg and when worn over platforms can deceive even the most scrupulous Six Flags employee. Heaven knows I was never tall enough to ride. The thing about this 70s cropped style in question, though, is that’s all flare — no length. The pant’s mouth hits right at the ankle, cutting the leg in awkward eighths of roped salami.
The most obvious solution is still the most effective: wear a platform.
The cool thing about the cropped flare, however, is its versatility. Dress it down with a pair of neutral flatform sneakers…
…Or if you’re feeling like that trend has been milked dry, wear the pants with a pair of mules or clogs.
Both shoes give height without being overwhelming, and the clunkiness of the two options detracts from the awkward length. I’m not averse to pairing them with a kitty heel, but like I said, cats. Baby steps, though — literally, because you are walking too fast for me.