We live in a world that is constantly being “revolutionized.” This is a term that “disrupters” — those who revolutionize — like to throw around fairly freely.
Let me further explain. Blackberry saw a problem with the way in which our mobile phones operated and thus, we became keyboard-doting denizens of motility. Steve Jobs didn’t see the purpose for a screen that wasn’t touch-optimizied and that was the end of those keyboards. Before there was the iPad, there was the laptop, and before that, there was the brick-of-a-computer that sat on its ass like a flat tire in the middle of a highway, producing aggravating sounds.
But these advances bleed beyond tech gadgets. Remember when we shopped in stores? Actually tried shoes on before swiping to the left in order to obtain them? What about when we still had to hail cabs? Or wait for the subway with reckless abandon, unsure of precisely when it would get to the platform. We still bought in bulk from Costco with our physical bodies as opposed to our mere fingertips, for heavens sake.
It would seem fair, then, to suggest that the “innovators” of today are committed to, you know, innovating the rather prosaic and quotidian tasks of our lives. But for the trivially impaired, those who enjoy a good shoe that separates before it can connect, here’s a question: why has no one set out to solve the problem of slingbacks? I walked to work this morning in a pair and within a block (I’m being generous), the back straps were down, my foot was seesawing, my prehistoric bones were completely exposed (you’d think they would at least help hold up said straps) and I was left thinking that if I’d wanted a pair of mules, I’d have just bought them. You know?
Manolo Blahnik has been making them for decades. So has Louboutin. And Jimmy Choo. Come to think of it, I can’t think of a single designer who hasn’t put their stamp on the interpretation of the shoe that, unlike the little engine, simply couldn’t.
And sure, they look good while you’re just standing, and in theory, they’re a great idea — not a pump, not not a pump and no ankle strap necessary. In practice, though, there’s just no palpable solution to the inevitability that should you wish to wear a pair, you must also concede to forgo a basic (though not unappreciated) human ability to walk. But there has got to be a better way. We’ve solved the archaic problem of ground transport with automobiles, of coffee-making with Nespresso machines, heck, we have even unlocked a solution for people who want sex, but don’t necessarily want to go out to get it, with Tinder.
So what gives, multifarious makers of the sling back? Are you going to revolutionize the age old silhouette or what?