The Thought Process of Getting Dressed

by Leandra Medine
September 2, 2014
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Much like studying American history, it gets complex at the point of isolationism’s end.

thoughtprocessofgettingdressed

It’s 7:45? That’s annoying, I thought I’d be out of bed by 7:30. Now I definitely won’t have time to fix my hair, which means I probably shouldn’t try to wear that blue knee length knit dress – the one with the very dramatic deep v neck and skimpy spaghetti strap sleeves, which tends to look good only when my hair is both perfectly straight and chaotically stringy. So what now? I guess technically speaking I could quickly fix my hair but now that I think about it, I wanted to wear that open neck dress because of that gold necklace, which I already determined doesn’t look as good as it should with this dress, so I’d rather wear separates anyway.

Bed head it is.

Holy macaroon seed! It’s 91 degrees out? Smells like linen party suit USA to me. But that’s too easy. It’s the first day back post Labor Day, I’d like to exude at least the impression that I attempted to try — you know, like I respect the work week, or whatever. So, maybe it’s about that sequined racer back top from H&M that came into the office two weeks ago, which I put on with my high waist ripped jeans? I felt pretty cool that day.

Ah, but I have a doctor’s appointment uptown at 9:30 and the reason I’m up this early is so that I can walk there. Duh. It’s 89 blocks away so sneakers seem like a non-negotiable here. I guess I will start from there and make my way up. You know what’s been a really reliable outfit? That white Rosie Assoulin crop top with the poppy Yves Saint Laurent shorts. I wore that the last time it felt this hot. Yeah, let me try that on.

Mmhmm, still as good as I remember it. The shorts feel a little snug though. Actually, I think they always hit me like this. But, oh, weird with sneakers. Why do my knees look like this in some shorts? What a weird length. I should probably just wear my clogs again. But I can’t walk 89 blocks in wood heels, that would be like trying to brush my teeth with a swiss army knife. Or something. How about these slides? These are cute, I walked to Soho House in them last night and that was fine? But Soho House is 15 blocks away, Leandra. I think this always boils down to the fact that you’re too impulsive. Think long term. Think about how you’re going to feel once you hit 20th street and realize that the subsequent 69 blocks are going to obliterate your feet if you don’t get into a cab and then remember how much you hate cabs.

Sneakers, Leandra. Sneakers. But if I’m going to wear sneakers, I really ought to change. So is it about a pair of denim cut offs? Ugh that’s so obvious. I feel like something skimpy. Something delicate to offset the black Nikes pervading my feet. How about a slip dress? Do I have a slip dress? There’s that one Miu Miu nightgown I got as a gift. I can put on black high waist underwear under and a matching bra, that never seems like a bad idea. Ooooh, and it will look good with that necklace! But, eh, it’s shin-length and realistically speaking, how many mornings of naked legs do I have ahead of me? Think underwear.

I’m thinking underwear.

Oh! How about this satin Lisa Perry spaghetti strap dress? It’s not quite as flimsy as my mental conception wants it to be but I love the neckline and it’s certainly short enough. Pockets! I always forget this dress has pockets. Pockets are the life of the party. Like that friend who shows up to book club with a bottle of tequila. Man, this dress is a good one. And I’ll tell you what else, it pairs better with Nike Frees than any number of shoes I’ve previously worn with it.

This is also kind of perfect because I have an event right after work. Maybe I take some heels in a bag and change into them? But I don’t need to wear heels to that event. I’ll just take some brogues. Yeah, that’s a nice marriage of feminine, barely-there mini dress and menswear style lace up loafers. Yeah. Okay, it’s 8:01. I should leave. Back pack? Purse-purse? No, no, neither. They’re going to weigh my arms down, how many power walkers do you see lugging shit around? I’m going to take this fanny pack with me. But then what about the shoes for later?

Whatever, I’ll just come home after work.

Come on, Leandra, you know yourself. You are not going home after work.

Why not? I can do it. If I just tell myself there is no other option, I will do it.

You will also stress yourself out so greatly that you’ll probably miss your period again and then you know what will happen? We’ll find ourselves right here, back at square A, getting dressed and contemplating footwear for a day that starts way uptown.

Against your will.

At a doctor’s office.

Yeah, I’m gonna take my shoes in a bag. But you know what? I kind of definitely want to wear that knit dress. Let me just change real quick.

REPLIES
  • http://www.averageadventures.org Toni’s Adventures

    Your writing style is absolutely lovely and does this train of thought sum up every woman? I’ve taken to not even expecting me to get up and sort my hair. It’s working so far… at least nobody has told me otherwise!

    average adventures

  • Hanne

    i loved that, i’m weirdly much into descriptions of clothes from someone whose style i like, when i talk to my best friend we always describe clothes so detailed that everybody would think we’re crazy, but we love that stuff… really cool post, as well as amelia’s thought process of being late, i can definitely relate to both so much, you guys nailed it with both of them… i hope there’s another one of these coming :)

  • Céline Sonnenberg

    What an amazing text. Very witty, funny and incredibly relatable. Did you sneak into my bedroom in the morning and read my thoughts?

    http://electricfeel-now.blogspot.de

  • http://www.dominiquecandido.com Dominique

    hahaha this post

    xxxx
    http://www.dominiquecandido.com

  • http://curvilyfashion.com/ Curvily NYC

    This is just perfect. I think I am going to send this to my husband the next time he chuckles at my reliable sartorial indecision.

  • GapToothedGirl

    LOL!!
    You read my mind!!!

    XOX, Gap.

    http://www.gaptoothedgirl.com

  • olive

    I cant get over “Pockets are the life of the party. Like that friend who shows up to book club with a bottle of tequila.”
    We were having twin telepathy this morning leandra because I had almost the same thought process except I decided to look like a messy art teacher, not a chic power walker.

  • http://honeyinmyheels.blogspot.com/ Marquise C Brown

    Lol story of my life! This is so funny, love the post

    Toodles
    Marquise
    http://honeyinmyheels.blogspot.com/

  • http://instagram.com/_lizstone Liz Stone

    I thought I was the only one who had such conflict with myself in the mornings! This is fantastic x

  • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

    Showing this to my boyfriend right now! So funny!

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

  • Ana

    Hahaha… Sounds like my brain every single morning! .. Although with my boyfriend gone this week, it’s more like a wonderful monologue for myself and my neighbours to enjoy.
    Does this also mean you come back to a mountain of clothes every evening? Because I definitely do.
    It’s always reassuring to know we are not alone :)

    Ana x

    http://www.bananacloset.com

  • http://Medium.com/@hager_emma Emma Hager

    Great post, Leandra. I am the type of person that doesn’t think and outfit through, then gets cranky about it later. The mental equivalent of having to cope with wet socks. That icky feeling of wishing I had looked in a mirror or whatever because when I do later that day and I’m out and about, I get claustrophobic with hate for my outfit

    • http://hermeone.etsy.com Josie Fillat

      What keeps me from leaving the house more than anything is that fear of not being comfortable in what I’ve chosen! Similar to Leandra’s post (essay?) today about Closet Nirvana, I’ve been editing my small closet and if there’s something that makes me feel too much of something I don’t like, I ask myself if it can be styled otherwise (“saved”) or if it’s a lost cause. If I can’t handle it I trade it for something else at buffalo exchange or crossroads……..!!! No excuses! Hating what you’re wearing is not worth it!

      Also, EMMA you stick out like a sore thumb all over this site. Manrepeller needs to hire you.

      • http://Medium.com/@hager_emma Emma Hager

        Hey Josie,
        I feel you. It is definitely important to really contemplate the items in our wardrobes. If they take too much “work,” then I usually hand ‘em to a friend or Goodwill, etc. Sounds like you’re a pro at it…I need to take a page from your book and be more diligent!

        And re: sore thumb note, thank you so much, girl. :))))))

  • http://www.dreaminlace.com/ DreamInLace

    Oh the struggle of getting dressed in the morning. I went through hell this summer trying to find outfits that would fit the split schedule of half my job being indoors in an office setting and the other half being outdoors climbing around campuses taking pictures for marketing materials. The struggle was real. The footwear debate was REAL. And anytime I settled on something half cute – an hour into my work day I was cursing that I didn’t opt for nikes and cutoffs. Team Nike!

    xoxo
    Kelly
    http://www.dreaminlace.com

  • charmystique

    Everyday, the perpetual conversation that goes on in my head.

    http://charmystique.blogspot.com/

  • Menu

    Waiiiiiiiit are you trying to say you think you are preg and going to your obg uptown!?

  • http://tongueburnt.blogspot.com/ Sarah Elise

    “If I wear these shorts, I’ll have to shave my legs… PANTS IT IS!”

    • http://Medium.com/@hager_emma Emma Hager

      And also: “God my legs look like a grove of pine trees, yuck!”

      *doesn’t do shit for four more weeks, and wears same pair of shorts for four more weeks*

  • http://jiaachacruz.blogspot.com/ Jia Achacruz

    I perfectly imagined you in front (or I suppose inside) of your closet having this monologue.

    ROUGH & TOUGH☯ // I`m on Bloglovin! // IG: @jiaachacruz:disqus

  • annabridget

    Ha! Story of my life…

  • http://hermeone.etsy.com Josie Fillat

    All too familiar. For me, after I “decide” on what I’m wearing my boyfriend and I will realize we’ve dressed too much alike (similar colors, patterns, even sock lengths—it’s too much) and I’ll have to re-change.

  • Lauren Ann Long

    Sometimes I just pick up what’s closest to me and that’s that.

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  • http://mxpstyle.com/ Michelle

    Haha this is so sadly accurate to my life every morning :/

    – Michelle | MXP STYLE

  • Wahiba

    Hahaha! So relatable Leandra!

    http://Www.wabie-daily.blogspot.com

  • Sassique

    Great post! I’m in the same situation everyday…

    http://www.sassique.com

  • http://currentlywearing.com/ Currently Wearing

    Love your article! You made me laugh!

    XX

    Miri

    New giveaway on: http://currentlywearing.com/polo-day-giveaway/

  • Whitney V

    Your casual yet clever writing makes me picture perfectly this scenario!! So relatable, so true, and so but so adequate for this transition time weather-wise!!

    Whitney
    http://www.whitneyswonderland.com

  • http://www.littlewildheart.com Alexandra Puffer

    Struggles of East Coast weather! I have the same internal dialogue on the daily.

    Warm Regards,
    Alexandra
    http://www.littlewildheart.com

  • Ana

    Leandra, you are the best! In love with your writing and with the Man Repeller!!

  • Clarice

    I would like pictures of the outfits to go with this text.

  • Tess Hinterbichler

    ^^^who gave you permission to enter my brain? ((except I wish I could afford Miu Miu and YSL)) Love it!

  • Paula Vezzulla.

    LOL. I love this because it is so true, and very funny too. Nice writting :)
    xx, Paula
    http://vezzulla.blogspot.com

  • Courtney Joan

    I love you… and your style.

  • Tracy

    I totally find myself in this post!

    http://fashion-soup.com/

  • Outfix

    “Smells like linen party suit USA to me.” You, are a genius.

    http://www.theoutfix.com

  • Elle

    Haha I love this article! Great writing!

    http://www.cherryblossomstreet.com -Swedish Model and blogger in Tokyo

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  • Dana

    Oh my god – I think every girl’s been there, and every guy’s witnessed it one time or another, sister, girlfriend, or wife.. in awe (like bad awe). Only thing that beats this devil = travel = limited wardrobe = smaller selection = wow, I’m ready in no time. Maybe we should section our wardrobe into suitcases, and live ‘out of suitcase’, one at a time of course… assuming you travel, well, somewhat light

    http://www.trovea.com

  • Aleia Ramsey

    Preach!!!

  • Ana triana

    I really loved this post. Girl power

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