But when you’re trying to make a point and you want your clothes to punctuate that point and you know very well that in order for that to happen efficiently you can’t quite imagine the world as the expansive oyster that Sir Cliché has made it out to be, what are you supposed to do?
In an immediate past, I’d have probably suggested you consult a friend or an opinion that you have come to respect. Today, I will not do that.
We butt heads where ankle boots that sound like a horse’s hoof-clack while in motion are concerned.
Take this post for example — I’m trying to make a point here, right? And to make this point — that fall is around the corner but summer isn’t over yet — I could have issued any number of different, let’s say, sartorial tactics amounting to same pair of winter-appropriate footwear.
Think three tone dresses or maybe blue jeans and an additional cardigan — linen blend! So end-of-summer chic! — with a plaid shirt around my waist and so many bracelets on my wrist and like, 16 shades of lipsticks ranging from purple to red across my pucker and a hat. No, two hats. Fine, one hat and a neck scarf. No! Necklace. Necklace and neck scarf. Yeah.
But noooooo. Because I consulted the opinion of Resident Asshead (trademark pending) I turned up in white high waist jeans, a t-shirt, a blazer, a fanny pack and duh, the boots.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing technically wrong with this look. As a matter of fact, there is a 0% chance I won’t wear it at some point between now and December. It is, after all, still a sentence that I’ve written. But I wanted to say this stuff more dramatically. I didn’t get a chance to confuse it/myself with overly flowery prose and words that, frankly speaking, don’t really deserve a chance to be used as frequently as I try to use them.
But I tried to add a hat — call it the four syllable word equivalent of the outfit’s sentence. You know what Amelia said? That it gave me triangle head. Frustratingly, I totally agreed. So I stuck to the single, above-eye-level syllable-ers. Then I was like, how about a plaid shirt over this tee? That looked fine, but she was all, “Look, you can and should do you,” which I took to mean, “HAGFGDASBBJyoulooklikeafuckingtreecarfreshenerHAGHAJAJSHVDJAHVA!” So I took that off too.
By the time we were ready to shoot I was wearing the equivalent of a four word sentence and I know she was satisfied and I know the point we wanted to make was going to be made — and clearly at that, but before the camera would click, out from my pocket emerged a little red scarf to tie around my neck. The boots deserved it, ya know?
Now here’s the important part: would you wear this? What would you change? And, of course, can I get yo’numba?