You know what they say about big feet? It doesn’t matter. (Who’s “they,” anyway?) Here’s what I have to say: embrace your big feet. I’m tired of reading articles instructing me on how to hide my lanky limbs. It’s time to stomp out the Bigfoot bias. Let’s come up with some positive things to say instead.
I’ll give you a visual of my situation: I’m a 5’4’’ petite female with size 10 feet. In profile, I look like a capital ‘L.’ I was on the basketball team in high school, and I trained myself to dribble a little further out than normal so that the ball wouldn’t hit my feet and roll beyond my grasp. This didn’t always work. I spent a lot of time on the bench.
Today, when I’m shopping for shoes, store clerks don’t believe that I know my own size and suggest that I measure my feet on one of those medieval devices. Once they figure it out for themselves — “By George, the girl was right!” — they spend an eternity in the back room, often failing to procure anything that fits. “Maybe you could squeeze into a 9?” they offer, as though we’re in Imperial China.
And when they aren’t ogling at my feet, they mistake me for a dude. TRUE STORY.
Up until recently, I avoided clunky shoes like clogs or rain boots. I thought Converse made me look like a clown. Platforms were out of the question and Uggs were…ugh. I stuck to heels and even bought shoes that were half a size too small for me. Eventually, my big toes popped through the front of my size 8 Supergas and then I really looked like a clown. I realize now that what matters most is getting from A to B comfortably, and at least bigger feet got me there faster.
You know who else has big feet? Oprah. She is a size 11. Jacqueline Kennedy was a size 10 and Audrey Hepburn was a 10.5. So, if there’s one thing we can say about big feet, it’s that they’re attached to badass women. Big feet do also, in fact, mean big socks. But other than that, the stereotypes are all moot.
Here’s what they should say about big feet:
1. Big brains
2. Big doormat
3. Big bell bottoms
4. Big(ger) balance
5. Big toe rings
6. Big skis
7. Big surfboard
8. Big rollerblades
9. Big nails
10. Big Dr. Scholls
Haters gonna hate, and now that you don’t feel so bad about being a Notorious B.I.G. F.O.O.T, here are some shoes that flaunt those flippers…
Now. Be honest. How big are your feet?