Celebrities are not just like us. They are, for one very specific reason or another, famous. And they seem to live in LA (for the most part). If you live in LA, congratulations, you are a little bit closer to being a celebrity than most.
It’s true that sometimes they pump their own gas. They have cellulite and pores and eat nachos and sneeze. But celebrities have one thing we denizens of the mortal world do not: stylists.
(To the person who points out that non-celebrities can have stylists too: guess what? That means they are enough of a celebrity and we don’t have time on this jungle gym to get into semantics.)
Now, if I had a stylist, I would turn into a happy robot. It would be my dream come true to have someone assign specific dates to my pants. “Amelia, these are your Wednesday pants. And these, these are your Tuesday pants. Tuesday pants go with the Tuesday shirt and lord help you if you mix it up.” I would be the best client ever and wear whatever I was told because while I am happy to dress myself now — sure, putting together outfits is fun — I image that if I were fancy enough to have someone choose my clothes I’d be like, “Have at it, I’ll be taking a nap on my gold!”
However, some brave celebrities go sartorially rogue. They make a break from the comfort of their stylists for the same reason princes and princesses do in storybooks who want to explore life outside the castle. They want to get in trouble! Have fun! Relieve themselves of the burden of royalty and just live it the heck up! But I don’t mean someone like Lady Gaga. That’s her thing, it’s her image. It’s expected. And Rihanna doesn’t fit either — her brand of avant-garde is wayy more “fashion” than it is “weird.” I’m talking about the ones who truly get dressed with the balls-to-the-walls attitude of If Not Now, When.
Like Jason Derulo, for example. I love that he decided a wetsuit was the perfect transitional piece from ocean, to stage, to Instagram, to blog. He was right. It was. And it inspired this whole post, you know.
(Except that right here he may be learning exactly how it feels to wear Spanx.)
What about Bill Murray? It’s hard to deny his untrammeled commitment to statement hats…
And I applaud his use of nature to accessorize the accessory.
Katy Perry almost feels too cliché to mention — she’s sort of like Gaga, it’s all costume — but I really like that one time she ditched the candy bras and said to herself, “Fuck it. I’m being a tree.”
Justin Bieber gets a lot of crap for his drop-crotch trousers (among other things), but feelings about his recent actions aside…
…where would this very blog be if not for the celebration of a fantastic harem pant? Besides, I find his one-sided, enormous hoop earring to be bold.
Now, this is Fatman Scoop. You may remember him from that instructional song about money played at every single wedding and high school dance you’ve ever been to. But I remember him from the 2008 MTV Music Awards…
Because he dressed like my dad on vacation and owned it.
Bjork once draped a swan around her neck. (She, like Ryan Gosling, doesn’t seem to find them gross.)
But I prefer to celebrate her sparkly, full-body nylons, because if they don’t say “You only live once so why not run absolutely everything through a Bedazzler,” then I don’t know what does. (Except, maybe, for that crazy baby toe.)
Last but not least, we have Busta Rhymes. Not only did he once don an elegant, ankle-length sleeveless robe and pair it with culottes during a time when it was all about the micro…
…he accessorized with a Martha Stewart human backpack. Now that, my friends, is how you dress for the YOLO.
Happy Friday, and tell me who has your vote (either on this list or not) for Best Celebrity Rogue-and-Fabulous-Dresser.