Getting Old

July 29, 2014

And not just because Buzzfeed made a new nostalgia list

viapurplemagazineA toddler who is about to turn four can announce that he is old. His statement will be met with complimentary applause and the resounding agreement that yes, he is old.

“Such a big boy” may also be cooed.

Yet for some reason my announcements of early aging at 26 and the continual complaint that I feel “so old” are countered with harsh glares and eye rolls and, “Just wait until you’re my age.”

“Such a big girl!” is typically not added.

…But maybe that’s because I’m shrinking in height, which is a tell-tale sign of aging that comes after grey hair and early dinners.

The grey hairs started when I was 12. I remember sitting in the car while my parents went on a hike and I found my first grey strand that would eventually turn into approximately 8 billion. If you don’t believe me ask my colorist who covers the now-white stripe on the left side of my head every two months even though she’d prefer it if I came more frequently. It is not chic. I do not look like Stacy Clinton.

I also cannot hear. The realization of this came about three months ago when I lost my left contact in a public situation. If you wear contacts and are as blind as I am short, then you know that losing one contact is worse than losing two and so, I took both out and had to ask my seeing-eye-friend to more or less guide me home.

“But Amelia,” you’re probably beginning, “being near-sighted isn’t a sign of old age. It’s when your close-up vision goes away that you know you’re gaining years. And what does this have to do with hearing?”

Because, you see — and please embrace your youthful vision! — as soon as I couldn’t see, I suddenly couldn’t hear; the volume got turned down to the level typically reserved for annoying commercials and important phone calls. I was “What? What?” city bitch, and my friends eventually gave up repeating themselves. The only logical conclusion to this phenomenon (shouldn’t my hearing having gotten stronger?) is that this whole time I have been reading lips and didn’t know it. Like a spy.

An old, senile spy.

Gravity is also working against me. Not in a John Mayer kind of way, but in a when-did-I-get-this-much-elbow-skin kind of way. I’ve been watching the growth of my earlobes like a weather tracker on New York 1 and speaking of the news, I’ve taken to arguing at the news anchors who grace my screen each night. In fact, I talk to them more than my very own friends, because all my friends do is remind me with frustration of all the names of those people I forgot we went to college with.

I have foot problems. I have back problems. My physical therapist is now also my go-to for restaurant recommendations which — per the stereotype touched on earlier — I will only approve of if they can seat me before 9. An 8 PM meal is hardly the early-bird supper special, but it’s a far cry from my days of 24 when “dinner” meant 10 PM and heart burn wasn’t a legitimate concern.

“Why are you telling me this,” I bet you are wondering. Because you asked me how I was doing, of course. And one of the most glaring, cliché signs of getting old is losing your filter and responding with a novel (presumably on your health) when all someone asked was, “What’s up?”

Oh you didn’t ask? You see. I’ve lost my memory too. That proves it. I’m old. Let’s party.

  • Hallie

    I want that model’s hair color.

    • Amelia Diamond

      I actually do too

  • http://weareatlove.com/ Wear Eat Love

    Have a same problem with grey hair!!! My is genetic thing unfortunately.

    http://weareatlove.com
    WEAR EAT LOVE

  • Aleks Kop

    ‘Getting old is mandatory, growing up is optional’ some wise man said. So let’s put that music up and shake up some action! (Especially when now getting old is fashionable (strawberry grey hair looks, slip on sandals, which only my grandma would wear back in the days and many many more….!)
    AleksKop ‘Wandering Minds’
    http://ourwanderingminds.com

  • Stephanie

    I feel ya! At 26 I remember seeing the start of fine lines around my eyes (prob due to contact lenses and the constant tugging at that area) and immediately switched to SPF 30 moisturizer and anti-aging regimen. Luckily the gray hasn’t settled in yet, but once it does I’ve warned my husband that I absolutely WILL be dying my hair!

  • GapToothedGirl

    I hate grey hair, but this seems a great solution for my problem!!

    You’re a solver!!!

    Great post, as always!!

    XOX, Gap.

    http://www.gaptoothedgirl.com

  • ee_by_cc

    As Dr. Seuss once wrote…”You’re only old once!”

    http://www.enduringethereal.com

    • Amelia Diamond

      Haha I like that

  • G

    Such a funny article Amelia… Maybe because it rings so true to me.
    I’ve been dealng with grey since about 14… 35 now and I have to get color every month! They sell hairspray at Sephora that magically covers your roots. I use that in between. By the way just FYI I read somewhere that grey hair is a sign of B12 deficiency.

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/397583-vitamin-b12-deficiency-symptoms-gray-hair/#page=1

    G

    • Amelia Diamond

      Wait really! I have a B12 deficiency! That’s fascinating. Also what’s this hairspray you speak of and does it smell gross?

      • G

        I use Rita Hazan… I know there’s another brand at sephora as well. The smell is not bad… Although my sense of smell may be going with my old age!

  • suzyd

    I feel ya, Amelia! I am 29 – so waaay older than you – and feel about 71. I don’t know how or when it happened but I can no longer chug half a bottle of tequila in addition to 25 million other alcoholic beverages in one night, get home at 7am, sleep for half an hour, then head straight to the office. My knees are creaky and I always make weird grunting sound effects whenever I have to sit down or stand up. Also it seems like all the humans who used to be tiny children humans are now grown up teenager (or worse – actual adult) sized humans and I am one of those who tend to say, “My you’ve grown!” Le sigh. *Fist bump* (do the youths still do that these days?)

    • Amelia Diamond

      GIRL. team creaky knees.

  • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

    I am “i was just a graduation party and rinsed off the entire table and all the cups in between rounds of flip cup” years old.

    • Amelia Diamond

      i collect empties mid-party

      • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

        I warn people of the dangers of mixing red bull with vodka.

        • Amelia Diamond

          I still mix red bull with vodka.

          • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

            That’s fine, because it’s probably just so you can stay awake.

  • http://www.stardoll.com/en/user/ Hayley || haily54321

    She is still looking good though

  • http://www.stardoll.com/en/user/ Hayley || haily54321

    I am getting up there, not as old as some of you ladies but I am 20 :3

  • http://dressinginlabels.blogspot.com Karen – Dressing in Labels

    I’m totally with you on this one! I’m turning 25 this year and I’m already complaing about getting old. After a night out I have to recover a whole day and i can’t mix alcoholic drinks anymore. My sleep, definitely during the week, is more precious then ever. And of course there’s that longing to be a careless highschool student again!

    x Karen
    http://dressinginlabels.blogspot.com

  • ThEtRuTh217

    I’m 22 but feel 1,000,000!!!!

    • Amelia Diamond

      What about when the Taylor Swift song comes on?!

  • Charlotte

    And all of a sudden I feel cool feeling old as a 23 year old if that means that Amelia and some of the cool MR readers are there with me! I go to physiotherapy twice a week because my entire lower back to neck hurts. My left arm makes a terrible cracking sound that puts the fear into everything that comes remotely close and I have so many lines on my face that if I put numbers at the end of them kids might start thinking it is one of those drawings you get on the back of your cereal box. My 56 year old mother has no wrinkles. at. all. Thank’s genetics.

  • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

    Well, I was old at your age, too. Most of the time, my inner experience counter was creaking “too full, too much, let me breathe” and the lightweights aka naivete counters were silently weeping, their clokworks almost jobless …

    Now I am finally young, so young, in fact, that I don’t consider parties, festivals or clubs worth of my newly gained time, which I prefer to use for reverse engineering of my wrinkles – by sleeping a lot. The problem with being young is, you laugh more than ever before and you get wrinkles which have to be done away with :-)

    • Amelia Diamond

      wrinkles mean you’re laughing a lot!

      • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

        I am. Errr : Just do it?

  • Amy B

    I’ve been hanging out with a 92 year old lately. When she talks about her nephew, who is 66, she states that he is “so young.” Perspective. Everyone I know in their late 30’s or early 40’s speaks as if we are relics. I guess when it’s been 25 years since Paul’s Boutique was released it makes it seem like we are, in fact “old.” I guess having aches, pains & being tired as well as talking about all our ailments at a dinner party = old.

    • coffeetoo

      Paul’s Boutique!! hell yes

  • Libby

    Just drink a bottle of wine without a glass; you’re old enough to know better, but too young to care. Plus wine puts everything into a nice and rosy perspective, right?

  • Ana Lu Garro

    I was just telling my boyfriend about how much I hate/now-love my eye wrinkles… and I’m only 24. Being this white in a tropical country only leads to early aging :(

    Ana Lu from Things&Crowns
    http://www.thingsandcrowns.blogspot.mx

  • Charlotte Fassler

    Amelia, your earlobes aren’t growing. That only happens to dudes. PhEwF!

    • Gré Tee

      I wish that were true!!!! :D

  • starryhye

    Oh Amelia, you’re too much! I’m in my mid 30’s and can definitely relate. The grays come faster and faster each month and I’m constantly on the lookout for conspicuous skin maladies. But the upside to getting older is learning to not care about the little things. The things that caused me so much insecurity in my 20’s are not even a blip on my radar now. I’m beginning to think that by the time I’m in my 40’s or 50’s I’ll be a pretty kooky old lady (I’m aiming for Iris Apfel). So getting old isn’t all bad ;)

  • andrea raymer

    I haven’t had my first grey hair yet, but I found my first wrinkle between my eyebrows while on a road trip with my parents and I proceeded to have a mild panic attack in the back seat of the car.

    I am already panning for my first knee replacement. I have been going to the chiropractor for years and I have started choosing shoes based on the amount of arch support they give rather than how pretty they are.

    My mother has also taken to pointing out that I take more medications regularly than she does.

  • Cherie

    I have a herniated disc, the doctor said it’s just part of getting old. Now my knee hurts. I’m ignoring it. I can’t add another doctor to my contact list. Oh and I’m a breast cancer survivor as well. Yeah me.

    • Amelia Diamond

      kick ass for KICKING CANCER’S ASS. now tell your knees what’s up!

  • MarisolSJohnson

    But maybe that’s because I’m shrinking in height, which is a tell-tale sign of aging that comes after grey hair and early dinners. http://crazyparts.nl/FQqHiX

  • Lisa

    I loved this post, especially since I am 52. Every year as I lamented my getting older, my mom used to tell me I had “no idea how young I was”. And she was right. While I don’t quite relish the chicken neck and other lovelies that go with the “mature” woman look, I also I like who I have become, poultry issues aside. And at 50 years old, I even found what I wanted to be when I grew up, a fashion writer. It may take a lot of appointments to look this natural, :) but I am happy to be who I am. Enjoy being beautiful you–and remember, growing older is a privilege, not a right. :) Love MR, thanks for all the great posts.

    • Amelia Diamond

      “growing older is a privilege” I like that a lot Lisa

      • Gene

        My elderly neighbour (who was like another grandmother to me while I grew up) would tell people “Don’t get old dear, its terrible” and one pithy doctor shot back “So I should die now?” and that put what she’d been saying in perspective for her. Take a look at Advanced Style and look forward to wearing whatever the flying f*#% you want whenever.
        Also, invest in good skin care products.

  • Angel

    There is an adjustment period for sure, maybe from 26-29, where you notice your skin/hair/body are responding differently from your old self. But truly, after you recover from the shock and find your new habits, being 30 and up is great. You appreciate shit so much more and I take it as a compliment when people don’t believe how old I am.

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    I’ve had forehead wrinkles since I was 8, so I’ve really got nothing to lose at this point.

    Also, why didn’t you go on the hike, Amelia?!

    • Leandra Medine

      Me too! my dad calls them indentations of knowledge

      • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

        Your Papa sounds like the sweetest/looks the most dapper.

    • Amelia Diamond

      UGH HIKING IS THE WORST

      • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

        I don’t even know where to begin with this one…….

      • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

        I complain when I have to walk up a sand dune at the drive on beach…

  • Tamara

    I’m 50…and I got carded last night at a rooftop bar by a bouncer who looked young enough to be my son. Go me!!

  • Alma

    Sweetie! I’ve seen your pic, you’re not old at all!!!!! Take it from me, (you know, the one that sends ‘fan mail’ at 36 -next week actually- and feels like a prize idiot, although you’re so nice about it). So please, do feel young! You’re surely looking fab ;) Ps. me on the other hand, gravity IS happening!!!!!! xx, Alma

    • Amelia Diamond

      Almaaa <3

  • jm778426

    awsome

  • Tara Edie

    I’m 26 going on 106, I swear. I hear my Dad in my voice when I start complaining about backaches, and I scare myself when bingo, afternoon naps, and coupon clipping look like mighty appealing ways to spend a Sunday.

    http://www.southbysunset.com

  • hila

    I agree about the comment about turning 30. For the last 4 years, I have complained about getting older, and rounding up my age in my head, thinking, 26 rounds up to 30! I spent my whole 29th year saying “almost 30″, realizing that the whole year I should have just enjoyed it without any self-induced stigma. Now that I am (finally) actually 30, I am a lot calmer about age and just enjoying it. But wait until I start rounding up to 40… So I guess it’s totally natural to obsess about getting older every once in a while. I do appreciate getting older though. I guess it does have its perks.

    • Amelia Diamond

      you’re so right that the stigma is self-induced!

  • hila

    PS: fabulous article!!!

  • http://instagram.com/quincykk Quincy

    Can we also talk about the responsibilities you take on when
    you get older? For the most part, they are great and very often welcomed, but
    don’t you sometimes wish your mom still hollered through the house to set the
    table when dinner was ready? You know, those times you get home from work and
    think “Oh shit, all I have is almond milk and a couple eggs…” (Thank God for
    Seamless).

    I used to travel around the world when I was pretty young for
    competitive snowboarding and sometimes by myself (ya, I know this sounds
    crazy). When I was 13 and airport security, border patrol, or the check-in
    person would give me a hard time for something I would simply rely on my young
    age to get me out of it and say something along the lines of “Oh I’m so sorry,
    I didn’t know! I’m only 13!!” followed by a cutesy smile or a few tears.

    Flying home from college this year, a border guard gave me a
    hard time for folding a form that wasn’t supposed to be folded and I replied out
    of reflex with “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! I’m only…” and then stopped myself
    to realize, shit, I’m 18 now, these things aren’t going to fly anymore. I need
    to know better and get it together. It was a weird realization to recognize
    that, in some cases, I’m no longer considered “young,” I’m now my own legal guardian
    and technically an adult.

    PS Amelia, people usually mistake my mom for my grandmother.
    In terms of aging gracefully, my gene pool isn’t looking too good. She was also fully grey by age 30.

    • Amelia Diamond

      cracked up at the almond milk/eggs conundrum. but wow you’re so right about that realization that shit — I’m not a kid!

    • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

      I <3 your name. MY HOMETOWN!

      • http://instagram.com/quincykk Quincy

        Thank you!! Quincy, Mass?

        • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

          yes. city of presidents!

  • Hereshoping Themayanswereright

    As long as you take care of yourself, you’ll be just fine! My mom is 80 and is a total dynamo. She does the paleo diet with raw eggs, raw milk and lots of extra virgin coconut oil.She still has a perfect hour glass figure, and even wears my old juicy couture shorts and F 21 camis for gardening, and looks sooooo cute. She doesn’t care about looks, isn’t one for make up or any beauty stuff, she’s just her own cool, happy self and everyone adores her. Age truly does not matter if you take care of your body and keep your mind in the right place.

  • Anna Louise

    I am so in love with Amelia and all her commentators right now. You made me feel like I’m aging into a kick-ass righteous sisterhood. As Bette Davis used to say “aging is not for sissies” and I’d say manrepellers are definitely NOT.

    • Amelia Diamond

      I’m in love with everyone too!

  • Cat

    this describes my life! i’m 25 with terrible vision, greying hair, and i frequently need to wear earplugs to classes at the gym…. also, I can’t work out if it’s raining because my joints hurt. i can almost remember when i was young and fun and didn’t get hungover… but that feels like a dream

    • Amelia Diamond

      why do you wear earplugs, too loud? I want those!

  • Cynthia

    I found your blog in a story talking about fashion bloggers. How refreshing to see you are not a 23 year old yearling and that you have a witty mind. Even if you say it is an old one.
    BRAVO! You have a new fan in Dallas.

  • Hannah K

    Oh man, it’s actually so nice to hear fellow 20-somethings talk about grey hair. I have super dark, curly hair and found my first one at 19. Now the ripe old age of 28, I have a big stripe down the middle. Getting my hair coloured every 6-8 weeks is a total biatch. My hair stylist has exactly the same hair as me and is growing hers out – it looks completely amazing. Just wish I was brave enough to do it myself!

  • Margherita

    Sorry, but the getting old thing really hits you when you realize there are girls who are in their 20s and you’re (culturally and physically) totally outside that group. It’s like walking through a door and then turning around and seeing it shut forever. Sorry again: I’m 37 here, and kind of depressed.

    • ben

      And then…in your 40s:

      “Sorry, but the getting old thing really hits you when you realize there
      are girls who are in their 30s and you’re (culturally and physically)
      totally outside that group. It’s like walking through a door and then
      turning around and seeing it shut forever. Sorry again: I’m 47 here, and
      kind of depressed.”

      Do you understand what I mean?

  • lala

    ok, all you 20somethings need to stop talking about “getting old” it’s ludicrous. and NO ONE NEEDS to color their hair. you are choosing to do so. i’m so fed up with all the anti-aging and pressure put on women to stay young, fight age and feel bad that they are aging. either we are aging or we are dead. those are the ONLY options. take care of yourself but don’t buy the bullshit that you NEED to color your hair, inject plastic into your face or feel bad that you have not yet died. seriously, as women we should stop reinforcing this shit. it’s not like men “age better” and they walk around with wrinkles and grey hair and flab and they don’t apologize for it. these double standards will NEVER end if we keep reinforcing them. as a woman who is now over 40 i’m really struggling to not fall into that shit and feel like i’m no longer of value. i’m not dead yet.

  • sarah

    well well well. you’re getting old? how are you going to get through the next 40 years dear child? I’m staring down the barrel of 50, and there are definitely challenges that have nothing to do with how i look, or my hearing, or my vision, all of which are definately ageing. When you are doing an article on peri menopause, or menopause, or being post menopausal, and you have 80 years olds screaming at you that you know nothing, then you’re getting there. moan not. there is moaning to be done in your future, and i don’t mean the pleasurable kind, because that may well be long gone too! now THAT’s a bitch.

  • Marlene Bateman

    I can remember thinking how old 20 was when I was 16. I have always had, and continue to have, Peter Pan syndrome. No matter what the number, because as we all know age is just a number, I am the age I feel in my head at that moment. I don’t dress age appropriate, I dress body appropriate. I am a believer in starting Retin A in your 20’s. It is the Gold standard for anti aging. I have no wrinkles. Mostly due to Retin A and staying out of the sun since I was 18. Yes I was thinking about wrinkles even then. I am now 50 and If God wanted me to have wrinkles I would have lived my life in the Victorian Age. I believe in Botox and Fillers to a point. Start early and don’t overdo it. Joan Rivers has a healthy take on the whole aging thing. She stays incredibly busy and yes albeit slightly overdone with the face work. I love her honesty when she says “when I blink my eyes my legs snap shut”. Aging is the one thing we all have in common. Embrace it in your own style!

  • http://www.lookforthewoman.com look for the woman

    Amelia, like this post in so many ways.
    lookforthewoman.com

  • http://www.thecrushworthy.com/ Mahsa (The Crushworthy)

    I used to hate getting older, and then when I turned 30 I got over it. The older you get means you’ve survived yet another year! Plus you become more confident in your skin, and when you’re sixty or so you can retire, throw on some nice resort wear, take a cruise, and call it a day.
    http://www.thecrushworthy.com

  • http://www.sabrinaslnyc.com/ SabrinaSL Nyc

    Amelia dear, I have all the above problems! I decide to smile a lot and be happier after turning 30 just so that when I’m older I can have those smiley wrinkles instead of those angry scary ones. Man Repeller makes me smile a lot!!! Thanks dear! Xx

  • Gré Tee

    I understand your thoughts, and I went through that phase a bit early… like 22 :D I know it’s way to early for that, but after my 24th birthday I just started to be happy about every one of my birthdays, and honestly, I cannot wait to be 30, 40 and 50 :) I know negative things come with ageing (for me it’s: lines around my eyes, that belly that never quite goes away and being constantly tired!!!! – oh and I honestly do not want to see what my hooded eyes will look like when I’m 60) but at the same time you are wiser, you give less shit about other people’s opinions, your style is more refined, you have more and more people in your life that are super important and less and less people who are jerks, you get to care about things that you considered boring before such as interior design, ingredients of your foods and beauty products, being eco-friendly, politics, meaning of life etc…. And I cannot wait for granny pants!!!!!!! :D

  • Janna

    Omg I can so relate. Except I’m really old. 20 years more on you… it’s all relative, see? But even now, I can still walk and talk and touch my toes and hear people when not in a loud crowded den of fashionable 20somethings, so I count my blessings. I remember feelin that way at 26 too. Enjoy, you’ve got many more years to be getting old!

  • Vanessa

    I just turned 25. My peers say “we’re so old, I hate it!”
    That’s ok. It’s good to be aware of feelings.

    But why should I wish my life away?
    The experience I’ve gained over the years…
    I’m an impermanent being, and at any time the ride can be over.
    I have so many gifts at this time, now.
    I’m perfectly happy being 25.

    Cheers to you!

  • mercy

    i love his hair
    tas ransel wanita

  • Avery Cheatham-Banks

    Hi Amelia! Love this! Small edit: It’s Stacy London, not Stacy Clinton. Although Clinton Kelly is her partner in crime, so I knew where you were going with that :)

    xo

  • Avery Cheatham-Banks

    Hi Amelia! Love this! Small edit: It’s Stacy London, not Stacy Clinton. Although Clinton Kelly is her partner in crime, so I knew where you were going with that :)

    xo

    Avery

  • Avery Cheatham-Banks

    Hi Amelia! Love this! Small edit: It’s Stacy London, not Stacy Clinton. Although Clinton Kelly is her partner in crime, so I knew where you were going with that :)

    xo

    Avery

  • Annette

    OK go ahead and be a “Hater” by the end of this comment……
    I am 5 months away from being a glorious 60 years old and NO gray hair, glorious mane to my waist but those curly hairs down south are looking a bit lighter, NO glasses for seeing the menu print, yes I can read the 4pt. type on clothing labels, NO hesitating to put a bathing suit on 365 days of the year and NO flapping skin on my arms,,my muscle tone is excellent without those horrid rigorous workouts.