Get in the Zone — Bikini Zone

Zoom
June 23, 2014

It’s that season, so how you gonna wear your ‘suits?

You know what sucks about bikini season? Other than the invariable wax that comes with it?

The fact that, if you, like me, hate spending money on water-resistant loin cloths, we’re shit out of luck when poolside. Last weekend, I kept shorts and a t-shirt on all day Saturday and you know what I look like now?

A butt farmer.

Do you know what a butt farmer is?

Me neither, really, but it sounds funny. My point is this: bathing suits can be expensive and it’s frustrating to spend money on them when technically speaking, they’re covered for the most part when you wear them. And if we’re considering how frequently they’re worn, consider this: if you live in a city, they’re only really applicable on weekends — unless you’re jobless, in which case, they’re even more expensive — for two months a year — unless you travel a lot in which case, I’m grunting at you.

So I propose we figure out how to repurpose our bathing suits to make a little more sense (though not too much sense — that is never the end goal) outside the confines of a beach or a pool.

Above you’ll find three propositions. The first includes a white mens shirt which you can get from just about anywhere (though I really like the female versions from Everlane), tied at the waist and left open at the chest, an old Stella McCartney skirt and a vaguely marigold bathing suit top that could be a bra if you’re on acid. It also must be asked:

crab walk on Make A Gif

Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?

All hail Enrique, AM I RIGHT?

woo on Make A Gif

I digress.

By tying the blouse and leaving it unbuttoned, I’m concealing the bathing suit top enough for it not to look like I’m wearing a bathing suit under workwear but still offer a sliver of surprise if you catch me from a diagonal angle. Also great for happy hour when you want to let down your hair and take off your shirt.

In approximation #2, I forgo pants all together in the name of a black one-piece strategically worn over a perwinkle-ish high waist underwear, which if you look at quickly then look away, might make me appear as though I have an interesting sun burn in an even more interesting region. Worn over the bathing suit is a utility vest from Club Monaco that conceals my ass for the post-lunch digestion and some green Superga sneakers that are satin and incidentally made by me, for YOU.

This seems like a really appropriate outfit for a board meeting.

And finally, in look #3, I take my scalloped edge bandeau bikini top, place it over a white t-shirt (this one is T by Alexander Wang), pair it with a pair of grey micro-culottes or maxi shorts and a black blazer to sartorially officiate girls night. Who’s bringing the tweezers?

(The shoes are by Chloe, sunglasses from Asos).

Photos by Krista Anna Lewis

  • Elisa

    Thanks for the tips. It breaks my heart every year that my divine collection of swimwear spends 99% of its time in my drawer. I don’t even know why I love them so much. I just do, though. Few things make my heart race like a perfectly simple Eres bikini. Sigh.

    Elisa – Wandering Minds
    http://ourwanderingminds.com

  • Ajnira Muminovic

    Calm the fuck down. I watched those gifs for waaay too long. I know what u r saying, tooo expensive, but we could all go Riri style so fuck it. Other than that I would like to add that skirt is awesome, shoes even more oh and maybe buying swimsuits in winter?
    There is somewhere discount, probably :D

    majnira.com

  • GapToothedGirl

    I’ll definitely dance if you ask me!!

    XOX, Gap.

    http://www.gaptoothedgirl.com

  • http://monsemble.ca/ Mon

    black walmart bikini bottoms for $5 and when i’ve been a good girl i spice up my life with fun tops

    http://monsemble.ca/new-in-adidas-gazelle-og-trainers/

  • mfashionfreak

    hahaha i love you. and those sparkly heels are amazing!

    mfashionfreak♥blog

  • Hermy

    Not super-excited about the first two looks, but you sold me on the third. It is completely viable, adds a different look to a basic white t-shirt. Talk about re-purposing.

    http://www.thestylamiss.com

  • Marta Pozzan

    Good lord!! Thank you. I find bikini shopping so overrated, like can I just wear a shirt and I’m good

  • charmystique

    Love all the looks! Especially the one that looks like you’ve got crazy sunburn in an inappropriate area. I would also totally dance if you asked me to!

    http://charmystique.blogspot.com/

  • monkeyshines
  • http://www.ellaetcetera.com/ Ella

    Digging look 3! Reminds me of your bra over t-shirt post a couple years back and the Margiela H&M bra top.

    xx Ella
    Ella Et Cetera

  • Sigrún

    Oh I love the white blouse and fruity skirt ensemble, but i agree, i buy to many pairs of swimwear without wearing too much except a shortlived vacation by the beach, good thing i kept it to a minimum this year and only bought a white sporty bikini top that goes with everything!

    Sigrún
    sigrunbry.blogspot.com

  • Ms Jane

    Why are bathers so freakin’ expensive?? I live in Australia ang go through a few pairs every Summer. It costs me a few hundred bucks for not much coverage!

  • http://bergereinrock.wordpress.com/ Bergère Inrock

    I so love this Stella skirt <3 great idea I'm def gonna try !!

  • Marin

    What seems more pertinent to me than versatile swimwear at this particular moment in time is how FUCKING AMAZING UR CALVES LOOK. Where can I buy?

  • lavieenliz

    your gifs are epic

    http://hashtagliz.com

  • Olga

    You’re nuts! :) You know that, right? It’s a compliment. :)

  • Hereshoping Themayanswereright

    Amazing legs.

  • Megan // www.fyeahblog.com

    Approximation #3 is reminiscent of Prada’s bra over clothing silhouette from the S/S ’14 collection, and while I don’t totally hate it, Approximation #1 is much more my style. Long live lemons!

  • Andres Poiche
  • Marina Martinez

    SLAY MOMMA SLAAAAY

    (i’m a fan, obviously)

  • Francisc

    Your tips are great!

    http://fashion-soup.com/

  • claudia

    Love the print and the shape in that skirt! Gorgeous!

    https://trendenciesblog.wordpress.com

    https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/11447055

  • jas

    haha this made me laugh. don’t know if i’d be brave enough to wear this…

    reckless abandon

  • http://www.cocoandcocoa.com/ Lola Byatt

    i go swimming a fair bit, pretty much 3 times a week, all year round. would it be okay wearing mine to my local pool? i’ve always turned my nose at people who did this, it’s like your hear to swim but i think they might be on to something. definitely gonna try the white shirt-bikini combo xxxx

  • @Elaryen

    Creativ! Number 2 is definetly not for me, number 3 I am undecided about whether to like it or not, but I could definetly go with the first option.

    I always dance

    Alex – Funky Jungle

  • Dominique

    you are so cute!

    xxx

    http://www.dominiquecandido.com

  • Les Precieuses

    Fun bikini review, love it !

    http://lesprecieuses.fr/

  • Colleen

    I love looks one and two!

  • http://halcyonfair.com/ Maura

    Somehow, you pull them all off. I’d be down with the first look, personally. Fruity cape skirt, I didn’t know I needed you.

  • FatFreeFashion

    Love it!! The scalloped top over the white tee…I need a scalloped kini! That first gif…hahaha
    http://www.fatfreefashion.com

  • Chee

    You’re just amazing.

  • Alarive

    I love it but I really, really couldn’t wear it without looking slutty. That’s with most bathing suits really, but exposing it doesn’t work. Although how about using a full bathing suit under the white shirt, like a body?

  • Dollface

    I bought the green satin superga shoes. I LIVE in them! They are fabtastic!

  • Gabriela Merino

    HAHA! WITTY!!

    CHECK OUT MY BLOG BABES http://www.gabrielamerinoblog.com/

  • http://sedapop.blogspot.com Carolina Petrosky

    Yeah, I don’t know. I´ll sleep on it. If I know me, I might be obsessed about it tomorrow. sedapop.blogspot.com

  • Elyse

    The thought of wearing a bikini daily gives me joy. So does your frequent use of the word “sartorial”.

  • http://cityhabit.wordpress.com Modupe Oloruntoba

    I love you. I love this post. I love your dance. That is all.

  • http://thenouvelliste.com kate

    I am really digging the rash guard trend because not only is it reinforcing the notion that sun protection and pale skins are the coolest but rash guards can willingly double as shirts when one is not a la plage. Rejoice!!

  • jessi

    Those GIFs are too much. They may or may not have raised the corners of my mouth.. a little

  • Alexandra

    Hey,
    I read about your blog in the magazine “Grazia” and i had to see it myself
    It’s beautiful. I follow you.
    I start my blog one month ago and it makes me happy to write about hair.
    My vocation is the hairdresser and I want to show others how to do it quickly and easily.

    Maybe you have a moment to look over my blog.

    xoxo Alexandra
    http://heartofhair.blogspot.de/

  • http://www.thestylelogbook.com rini kundu

    Crazy legs indeed but GREAT legs. Love the bikini top under white shirt action http://www.thestylelogbook.com

  • john
  • Heidi

    I genuinely appreciate your silly factor and really glad I subscribed to your blog. This in no way detracts from some excellent advice and fine fashion sense.