I Wear My Sunglasses at Night
Kidding! I am just kidding!
You almost lost all hope in me, huh? Between Friday’s dissertation on wearing hats indoors and the prospect that this here post could have moonlit as a plea to persuade you to start wearing sunglasses at night, I don’t blame you but I do take offense.
JK. We cool.
But there is an elephant in this grand-looking ballroom sometimes referred to as “The Internet” that I do believe deserves to be addressed. After spending an entire eight months and change lamenting rather violently about the meteoric woes of somewhere far above, affecting us severely way down below, why is it that no one has so much as tweeted at Mother Nature to a. restore her name to its natural order (not sure if you remember this, but for the fourth time, we renamed her Cunter Nature earlier last month) and b. thank her.
The sun has been shining and so clearly, the heavens are smiling.
And what does one do when the heavens smile, the sun shines and therefore sets on the badasses that we have accrued by way of organic, gluten free, raw-vegan jelly beans, mixed nuts and spirulina chips?
One buys sunglasses.
Why? Because the sun don’t set on a badass if said badass is appropriately armed.
But also, because they make us look cooler but are not permanent, which means if you want to default back to your natural state of un-cool-ness, you can liberally do that at your discretion. It’s a difficult point to refute and if you want to, I’m widely open to listen (my ears! Not legs!), but I’m also fairly certain that I will not only want to stick to my guns on this one but I’ll also persuade you to buy into my ammo. Or something like that.
In spirit of it being Tuesday, let’s shop!