If These Men Were Women
Starring Leo, Leto and Leno
Have you ever wondered what your favorite actor might look like if he were a woman? What he might wear, what kinds of accessories he might gravitate toward and whether or not he might find himself stricken by the plague of basic bitch-ness.
If the answer is no then I have exactly nothing to show you today.
If, however, your answer is an effusive, “yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I think about how Piers Morgan would wear culottes if he were a woman all the time!,” then I have just the story for you (minus the whole Piers Morgan in culottes thing): a series of illustrated renderings as drawn by Charlotte Fassler of three of our favorite men — Jared Leto, Leonardo DiCaprio and Jay Leno.
Fine, full disclosure, the alliteration was a selling point too.
But right now that is neither here nor there.
Consider Jared Leto in a Givenchy plaid shirt, leather pants by whoever your imagination feels like conjuring and a sheer, knee-length skirt-over-pants plus the Balenciaga motorcycle boots of popular culture-yore — naturally tousled and ombre hair notwithstanding. We thought about putting him in an outfit that might seem more emblematic of his days as Angela Chase’s beau but opted against it which actually proved itself a futile effort because ultimately, when push comes to shove, Jared Leto = Jordan Catalano.
And here’s Leonardo DiCaprio. Our skillful set of in-house anthropologists determined that if DiCap were a woman, he would likely be Jennifer Aniston. This is precisely why he appears clothed in a banal brown Theory tank top, J Brand jeans and some Chloé sandals which, full disclosure, I own. To maintain to spirit of the male version of DiCap, there are also a pair of Isabel Marant x Oliver Peoples sunglasses to consider and a baseball cap, which Charlotte executively decided to scribe with the letters “L” and “A.”
Finally, here’s Jay. The man, the myth, the chin — who has been known to peel away at the layers of his late night suiting to kick it back more comfortably in a Canadian tuxedo. It’s worth mentioning that he was tux-ing before tux-ing was a thing (or, at very least, before I knew it was a thing). He wears a Saint Laurent belt to show off his pop culture sensibility and meme-brand brogue loafers for the same reason. Not invaluable is the fact that his jeans are by The Row and his fuschia, croc-skin clutch was made specifically for him by Nancy Gonzalez.
Deduction? The man is my accidental style icon.