The Pros and Cons of Swiping Left

March 25, 2014

Or online dating in general

Online-DatingNapoleon Dynamite was the primary reason I used to be aggressively against online dating. In my mind, Napolean’s brother Kip was exactly the type of person to be found hanging out on such establishments as OkCupid and Match.com. Tina the llama was probably on there too.

But by the time I moved to Manhattan it seemed that the conversation of one’s online dating profile was as commonplace one of Facebook. It was un-stigmatized and viewed similarly to the way you might meet a stranger at a random bar, just with more information on them. At the very least, you could enter date #1 knowing they enjoyed long walks on the beach but detested mayo.

When Tinder and Hinge came on to the scene, both were met with raised eyebrows and sometimes the question of, “That’s a sex app, right?” But soon it seemed that everyone was on at least one of the two. My guy friends, my girl friends, not Napoleon Dynamite’s older brother. And they were using it for dates (as opposed to just boning, no judgement, YDY/you do you). So I thought, why not?

On any given Sunday you can find me swiping the shit out of my phone screen, mostly out of boredom but also because best-case scenario is that you meet someone cool. Sometimes I let Leandra play with my Tinder because she’s married and I’m nice: it’s sort of like sharing the Nintendo controller on a one-player game like Donkey Kong.

However, there are still the online dating naysayers. Which doesn’t offend me, I didn’t invent the app, but when I found myself defending the “pros” to a friend’s “cons” last night, I realized that everyone I’d talked to who hadn’t tried some form of it maintained the same fears.

Allow me to quell them.

Con: He might be a serial killer.

Pro: He might be. But really, anyone has this potential. At least online you have some immediate information about the person. With an actual dating site, a whole profile is filled out, and you can decide for yourself if his love of Celine Dion is a good thing or not. With Tinder and Hinge, you can avoid strangers completely by swiping them left. I wish I could do that at a bar.

Con: He/she might just be looking for sex, and I’m not.

Pro: You can tell. Usually because they’ve marked the button, “I am looking for sex.” Or because their opening line is something to the effect of, “I am looking for sex.” In real life, agendas are more easily hidden.

Con: What if someone I know sees me on there, and thinks I’m just looking for sex? Or worse, that I’m looking for a relationship??

Pro: If they can see you, they’re on there too.

Con: What if I get catfished?

Pro: My friend accidentally catfished someone once. Do your research if you’re suspicious, and remember what the MTV show taught us about Google-image searching. And if you get catfished, then you get catfished, and that makes for an awesome story.

(But you won’t.)

Con #5: What if it’s an awful date?

Pro: Similar to the above, I find bad dates make for the best stories, which make for extremely fun brunches and set you up as a future candidate for recurring brunch invites.

The reality is that you can have an awful date from a set-up as well, or with someone you met at a coffee shop, or with the person you’ve had a crush on for years.  The best thing you can do is remind yourself that you gotta eat (or if you’re me, drink) at some point during the day, so you’re basically crossing something off your to do list.

And if it doesn’t work out? So it doesn’t work out. Once, I met a guy on Tinder who was so blacked out by the time we met that I was able to take his phone from him and delete my number out of his address book.

The next day, I was the most popular girl at brunch.

Image via The Impact News

  • http://jessjoycej.wordpress.com/ Jessica Joyce

    Oh, Tinder has become such a pleasure when I’m bored. But as Beyonce said, “to the left, to the left.”

  • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

    I am still fearing for my life after my last Tinder date experience. (I debated even posting that sentence!) I let my non-single friends play Tinder from time to time, too. I think it is a great app, though, and I especially love finding my friends’ exes on it. *Screen shot*

  • http://fashionmusingsdiary.blogspot.fr/ Miss J.

    I once tried to download Tinder but somehow never got to use it…

    http://fashionmusingsdiary.blogspot.fr

  • lavieenliz

    omg my friend invited tinder and honestly before I had a bf I would use it all the time. but none of the guys were even worth it

    http://hashtagliz.com

  • http://voguebeach.blogspot.co.uk Grace Cottrell

    Having a ‘catfish’ is a term me and my bestfriend have adopted into our everyday vocabulary, used to describe a romantic interest that is mainly interacted with via social media and who could potentially be fictional.
    http://voguebeach.blogspot.co.uk/
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy4BMxDhHq69ZRzfll0SYwA

  • Fashunnnn

    I met my girlfriend online and we have been together for almost a year now! Never thought being on a dating site would lead to a relationship but it did! I think every single individual should give it a try. Of course there were people on there I wouldn’t wanna see again, but that can happen in “real life” too.

    • Amelia Diamond

      that’s awesome! do you guys tell people how you met? what made you join since you didn’t think it would lead to anything?

  • Aubrey Green

    I love you Amelia. I wish I lived in New York, so we could have some scotch at a bar and share stories with each other; like the time I asked the bartender if he wanted a bite of my cookie (I had an actual cookie in my mouth).

    • Amelia Diamond

      scotch is so classy, Aubrey!

  • Nat

    I met my boyfriend on Tinder, we were both on it because we thought dating was fun and then we fell in love and have been together ever since.

  • http://thoughtsofglam.com/ ThoughtsofGlam

    Swiping left means new opportunities. Swipe on!

    http://www.thoughtsofglam.com

  • Marjorie Gavan

    I tried Tinder last month and met a guy who seemed decent enough. He was okay, problem is, he’s married. That’s it, I’m done with Tinder haha…

  • The Lone Panda

    I have yet to venture into the world of Tinder. But I have tried Badoo which after a few hundred frogs I did meet a potential prince. I thought, hmm… could this be the one? No, he was still living at home with his mother and had a fear of commitment all the while saying he can’t wait to introduce me to his friends and family. After 6 months I had still not met a single one of his friends.

    I’ve currently had my fill of dating app boobery and further more, men in general. I’ve gone on hiatus.

    http://thelonepanda.com/

  • Amy Joy

    Tinder is a great self-esteem booster. Let’s be real now.

  • http://thenouvelliste.com kate

    Funny story about how I met my boyfriend: after weeks of my best friend pestering me to join Tinder, I reluctantly reactivated my then defunct Facebook account and signed up. After two weeks of swiping away, I stumbled across the profile of a guy who I went to high school with- besides being in one or two classes together, we had never acknowledged each other at school. My friend’s Tinder philosophy was that she always gave a courtesy swipe to people she knew IRL/if she had a mutual friend, and in that instance, I decided to adopt her philosophy. Instant match and we began chatting. Despite him not remembering that we went to high school together- to be fair, my hair used to brown and is now bright blonde- we hit it off right away and I can happily attest that we have been dating for nine months. We like to refer to ourselves as a Tinder success story and while we initially didn’t reveal the happenstance of our meeting, we now proudly wear it as some sort of post-modern badge of honor.

    thenouvellsite.com

    • Amelia Diamond

      That is super cute. I courtesy swipe right too.

  • Joshua Michael

    Tinder is an interesting beast. I have just started to use it recently and is indeed fun. But it’s tough for someone in an open relationship and I’ve been comfortably in one for some time now. Girls turn that down immediately either because they aren’t into that or they don’t believe thats ever possible/understand it. So I don’t say anything now . What’s wrong with having a little fun or a little mutual companionship? Still love it though ^_^. I’m also bi-sexual and use Grindr as well, its funny the difference in open-mindedness itself between the people you talk to in both apps.

  • pinkschmink

    “Once, I met a guy on Tinder who was so blacked out by the time we met that I was able to take his phone from him and delete my number out of his address book.”

    This is my favourite online dating story EVER. I have some good ones, but I think you would win in a game of Tinder Top Trumps. We should have brunch … ;)

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  • Katya Ananieva

    bahaha love this!