OMG, Hey Spring!

Illustration by Habile Buston

Leandra's "Drawing"

Charlotte's Drawing
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by The Writers
March 21, 2014
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All the things we want to wear as soon as the temp goes up.

Boom, mother fucker. Spring’s technically finally here but we don’t trust Cunter Nature. (By the way, has anyone noticed that we’ve changed her name to something much more crass? Because no one has so much as mentioned it. Amelia included.) And why would we trust C-Natty after that violent winter and the avalanches that came with it? Hell no. So instead of actually shopping, we sketched highbrow renderings of who we want to be if and when spring actually shows itself. Consider us the Bernard Buffets of fashion, spring, and spring fashion.

Charlotte's Drawing

Charlotte:  Somehow I have accrued a stash of patterned vintage midi skirts and I’m finally putting them to good use. Cloaking my top half will most likely be a lightweight sweater or if I’m feeling extra funky, a crop top.

I am also currently sporting a lone mini gold hoop — you know, because I’m a pirate — but once this freshly-pierced shit heals I’ll be changing it a la Phoebe Philo who, at her latest show show, yelled “I support your random piercing spot, but please put a huge ass dangly motherfucker in there like you just don’t care.” And that, my friends is a direct translation. I’m fluent in French.

Ameliaspringv2

Amelia: Oops I didn’t understand the assignment and drew my outfits for SUMMER. Regardless. My spring/sum look is all about minimalism because if there’s one thing I hate, it’s thinking about things, and if there’s another thing I hate, it’s getting dressed. Simple tunic-y tops, low-slung board shorts, cropped pants and easy button down short-sleeved shirts plus slide sandals or anything I can shuffle in for my feet — that’s the life for me. Even if I freeze until July.

Leandra's "Drawing"

Amelia on Leandra’s Sketch: My talented friend here is apparently looking forward to spring’s biggest trend of porcupine feet and rabbit-ear ass. She’ll pair everything with a tissue box around her chest, and develop an alarming case of swollen airplane cankles for good measure. Looking good, sisterhood!

Leandra: I am sorry Amelia ‘asshead’ Diamond, but have you ever heard of this one painter who was relatively well known for distorting the human silhouette? His name was Picasso, he was big in Japan, and just because he didn’t actually draw skirts over pants and cropped blouses and round framed sunglasses but rather, thought about them romantically and allowed his distorted albeit beautiful renderings to speak for their character, does not mean they are any less important than the (fine, eloquently) drawn, taken-at-face-value illustrations that Charlotte and you have mocked up. In what world does it become my fault that your hands are steadier than mine?

But really. Tissue box chests. Think about it, people!

Illustration by Habile Buston

And fine, so I threw in the towel and commissioned help from Habile Buston, but I still stand behind my highly esoteric artistic capabilities. Happy spring, and I hope Amelia chokes on pencil shavings.

Now tell us/show us/draw us what YOU plan to wear!

REPLIES
  • Sarita Williams

    These drawings are hilarious!

    For me, I am all about letting my toes breath in strappy sandals, chunky sandals, fringe sandals, hell any kind of sandal you can think of. They’ve been cooped up for so long they probably don’t remember what the sun looks like.

    Also, just to pick your brain, what do you think of the rise of mules as a spring/summer must have? I’ve never really liked them myself, as I always feel like my feet will slide right out of them, but can’t help but feel a tinge of wanting desire.

    Anyway, I’m rambling. Great post ladies!

    xoxo,
    Sarita
    http://www.therabbitsoveralls.com

    • Amelia Diamond

      All i want are mules! You just have to make sure your pedicure game is on point because of the exposed heel situation. I don’t know how one keeps there foot in mule specifically but somehow, it just werqs.

  • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

    LOLing hard, especially at Charlotte’s “dangly ear shit”. I can’t draw, so I would just hire leo to draw me like one of his french girls instead! Love when you ladies do group posts, it’s like we’re all hanging out a lofffing (laughing) the day away.

  • http://www.tonytowear.com Tony to Wear

    Fun drawings! Really enjoyed it!

    http://www.tonytowear.com

  • Cyrena Monique

    Leandra’s sketch is MAJOR!!! Great post as usual, C-Natty’s been an absolute whore here in London too. Alas, the sun is starting to show its face more regularly. C x

    http://letmeseeyourwears.com/

  • Laura Mitchell

    Obsessed!

    I want white heels but after Leandra’s experience, I just don’t know anymore. The minimalist Hermes slides would be good for Amelia’s aesthetic.

  • http://fiftn.co.uk Fiftn

    You are so incredibly funny! I love the drawings and I must agree, the simpler the better. Simple is my second name :)

    Cheers from Fiftn @ http://fiftn.co.uk

  • http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/ Mafalda

    I’m all about mules too, I just bought a gorgeous black satin pair from Zara that I’ll be wearing at a wedding. Problem is, they’re 11 cm so I will probably break a limb before the end of the day. I love the dress over the pants trend too.
    PS: Leandra’s drawing is hilarious!
    Mafalda ❤
    http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot

  • Aubrey Green

    “Boom, mother fucker.” – I just love this.

  • Lucy

    Silently but hystarically laughing at Amelia’s description of Leandra’s drawing. Please do this more often.

  • Dominique
  • http://fashionmusingsdiary.blogspot.fr/ Miss J.
  • regina hoyos

    i want to wear a huge hat, since i live in mexico and the sun stings like a fucker. Also things that are loose for ventilation purposes.

    • Amelia Diamond

      pig shaped straw purse!! i want that too now.

  • http://haute-couture-hippie.blogspot.ca/ Angel

    Super Cute ! I love fashion sketches. The captions are hilarious.
    CHECK out my Fashion blog. NEW posts every Sundays , Tuesday , Thursdays and Saturdays . http://haute-couture-hippie.blogspot.ca/

  • Jordan Houston

    My Schizo Spring Staples:

    1) Oversize turtleneck crop sweater (searched far and wide on the internet for one with no luck. May have to design one!)

    2) Topshop pineapple short-shorts

    find them here: http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?searchTerm=pineapple&storeId=12556&productId=13935280&urlRequestType=Base&categoryId=&langId=-1&productIdentifier=product&catalogId=33057

    3) Slouchy socks, ALWAYS

    4) Booties

    5) Messy hair, a daily occurrence, and makeup, a once-monthly occurrence.

    Now, this is my dream spring look. I fell in love with these shorts the other day when I tried them on. However, my booty and thighs do not permit such a thing. I’ll likely be wearing two-day old hair, leggings, and an oversized tee.

    • Amelia Diamond

      k this is weird but maybe not that weird and is in fact extremely apropos considering the vogue news today, but i just saw kim k wearing a crop top turtleneck (i want to say on her instagram) and it’s from their line for sears? i just looked online for you and can’t find it so maybe it’s not out yet but …

      • Georgia Booth

        I really want a cropped turtleneck too!! No luck finding one though :(

  • Frances Coral

    FLATFORMS AND MIDI SKIRTS. YAY, SPRING!

  • Audrey

    Very funny. LOVE Amelia’s take on Leandra’s “drawing”. ;)

  • fashion altitude

    Had a good belly laugh at your drawings let alone the comments ! hilarious!
    It’s currently very cold in Paris with every now and then canicular temperatures so I have a cold more or less permanently. That said, all I want, yearn for is pastel colours, prints, light fabrics, cropped jeans to wear with heels and bare legs, a little tan to colour naturally my cheeks and uplift my mood.. Please, Spring come to me!!!! sharp and quick!!!

  • RomyPaige

    Well, because I live in Montreal, Canada and I’m pretty sure we’re having another Iceage… I’m just excited to expose my skin to the outside! Cropped jeans and flatform oxfords with no socks with a cropped sweater is what I’m craving. I have also recently grown to love colour so i’m looking forward to adding in some pastely hues and brights into my wardbrobe too.

  • Fawad Khan

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    i want to share a photo editor app which give your photo a new effects & style ;)
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