The Things We Grew Part II: Nails

Lana Del Rey, shot by Mario Testino

Rihanna via Tumblr

Via Notion Magazine

Shot by Guy Bourdain

Shot by Nick Knight

Daria Werbowy for Céline, shot by Juergen Teller

Cara Delevingne via Love Magazine

Via Vogue Nippon

Miley Cyrus via W Magazine

B*A*P*S, 1997
Zoom
by Leandra Medine
February 5, 2014
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I now bow down to all women with claws.

Now that you know what Amelia has put her face through in anticipation of the winter olympic games that are fashion week, which lay intermediately ahead, are you wondering what I planned in preparation?

No?

Well, is it okay if I tell you anyway?

Okay.

I thought about the sorts of accessories I could manufacture using my own body parts and though my initial idea was to bring my smile everywhere, growing out my nails seemed like so much more fun. It’s important to remember, though, I maintain an emphatically type-B personality, so, where Amelia actually went so far as to let her caterpillars crawl, I bought (well, Charlotte bought) glue-ons and applied them with red nail polish in lieu of letting my nails grow in earnest.

The result?

#1: A profound, new respect for the likes of Rihanna, Lana Del Rey, Halle Berry’s character, Nisi, in the 1997 critically acclaimed, B*A*P*S (if you, like everyone else in this office, have never seen that film, you are dead to me), and effectively every receptionist I have ever had to encounter pull documents out of a folder or place back inside a filing cabinet.

#2: That it is easy to take for granted how simple typing or the quotidian act of holding a coffee cup, swiftly sending a text message, or of scratching your head and pulling keys out of your handbag can feel when your nails are not ten inches long.

The process of application went something like this: I placed five of the adhesive-ready nails over the nail beds on my left hand. The other thing about ten inch nails is that if you’re applying them yourself, you’re fresh out of luck and motor skill capacity by nail #6. So Amelia placed the remaining five nails over my right beds, helped me paint them red and just like that, I was a physical manifestation Daria Werbowy’s oft-mentioned F/W 2013 ads for Céline.

Or was I? In reviewing the events of my yesterday, I think I feel much more like a dynamic cross between the worst version of Rita Ora, a fork (for eating chia bars, of course), and this woman, who apparently holsters the longest nails on earth.

Conclusion: Amelia’s bodily growth trumps mine and I’m back to utilizing the tips of my fingers in utter joy. Turns out long nails aren’t quite fashion yet — or is it simply that no matter what Werbowy touches turns to red lacquered gold?

Pinchy pinch.

I’m wearing a blouse from Asos, jacket by Carven, jeans by Blk Dnm, a handbag by Chloe and boots from Zara.

REPLIES
  • http://fashionmusingsdiary.blogspot.fr/ Miss J.

    I love this jacket, and your old new nails!
    http://fashionmusingsdiary.blogspot.fr

  • Dawn Joyce

    Welcome to the world of @NailsByRegina

  • cjcjcj

    my eyes are bleary from shoveling… trying to stare but can’t figure it out. who made your gold bracelets?????? love…

    • Leandra Medine

      they are a combo platter of jennifer fisher, curtis kulig x me + mi and this one other brand LET ME FIND OUT WHAT ITS CALLED

  • http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/ Mafalda

    I’m not so much into long nails, but I do love a good bright nail polish. You pictures just made me laugh.

    Mafalda ❤
    http://www.mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr

  • Vanessa Reyes

    During my college years I had decided to get gels. I went for a rather long look but I loved them. I received so many compliments and I felt accomplished in the fact that I mastered everyday tasks. I felt fabulous until……While at the local laundromat i was approached by an elder woman who asked, “How do you shower!?”. I laugh now but back then I took offense and said “Very carefully!”. Soon after that I removed them myself. Looking back I did take better care of my hands when I had them b/c they were always on display. They were like an accessory.

  • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CDJ

    This is giving me horrible flashbacks to high school senior prom. I’m also now upset with myself for never trying a Chia bar! How are they?? COCONUT IS MY JAM.

  • http://www.evazzie.blogspot.com/ Lizzie Van Danh

    I have been into the long claw nails for as long as Beyonce has been wearing them but could never get them to be pointy shaped. The thought of using press on nails UNIRONICALLY has not only never crossed my mind but is actually genius. Where did you get yours/what are they? And how many have you lost so far.

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    Holy cow — totally love you in these actually. They seem very un-Leandra, but somehow you totally just made them “you.”

    When you posted the picture on Facebook, upon first scroll I completely thought you were Rihanna.

  • Annie

    I think it’s funny that the home page picture for ‘The Things We Grew: Eyebrows’ has Cara wearing her nails short, and the picture for this one has 2 girls with bleached/light eyebrows! haha :)

  • Saakshi Kaushik

    Is it so very weird that you so very kind of remind me of the villain in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty? BUT DOOSET DARAM OK THANKS

  • http://www.fullbellywornsoles.com/ Michelle Panting

    Like you, I can’t handle so much as the idea of long nails in day-to-day life. To me, they’re for music videos and receptionists exclusively.

    http://www.fullbellywornsoles.com

  • Ally

    Where is your beanie from?

  • http://the-glossy.com/ Natacha

    And just imagine the challenge in having long nails that are real. Breaking one is the bane of my existence.

    http://the-glossy.com

  • Kristen

    You are hilarious

  • dp

    amelia, you don’t know BAPS?? you are fired as my pretend black friend.

  • Gré Tee

    so funny :D :D

  • D&H empire

    I got a fit of laughter:))))you made my day:)))

    DH empire

  • charis

    love your look x

    London blogger giveaway from Luxury brand Fabryan

    check it out on my blog

    http://chariscity.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/fabryan-london-blogger-competition.html

  • http://sarahbolton.net/ Sarah B.

    omg, BAPS.
    And yes. I thought I would grow my nails out since I’m getting married and was told people are gonna look at my hands. They got to the tips of my fingers and I freaked & chewed them off to nubs. Mad respect for ladies who rock the 10 inchers.

  • amandavasilikos

    I love that you referenced Nisi from B*A*P*S. Greatest movie ever!

  • The Wears

    The Carven coat of my dreams, sigh. As for the nails I’m personally not a fan of this trend at all. I like to follow SJP’s lead and go sans polish most days and wear them as short as a ten year old learning to play piano. The lower the maintenance the better x

  • CarlotaLMorais

    You look so creepy this is hilarious!!
    In love with your coat.
    The nails, i like them, but they are not youu….i dont know. I doesnt seem like a trend you would actually follow permanently.

  • CarlotaLMorais

    And you look like bambi too!!!

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    LOL totally was about to ask you how long it took to grow those claws! :D

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com

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