Sick Style, Shit Weather

Because, really, what does one wear to Fashion Week under the current climatic circumstances?

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I meant what I tweeted yesterday. I am one snow storm away from high tailing it the fuck out of New York. I actually think in the tweet I called this place a bullshit city which I will probably feel really remorseful about come May but right now, New York, you are very truly and sincerely acting like a piece of frosted shit that has taken a shit atop my head and is now standing next to me, laughing incessantly about the shit on my head while I try to wipe it off.

What is that?

Frankly, I could have handled the abundant snow until yesterday when it turned to slush which inevitably turned into one of those violent puddles cars are so frequently splashing into pedestrian coats and faces and that yesterday, inevitably too, splashed into mine. And this wasn’t just any slush, it was frozen slush! Frozen, piss flavored slush. I also had no choice but to walk knit-sneaker first into a three foot puddle because I will not, repeat, will not buy snow boots.

Wait a tick. Do you think this weather is a) a conspiracy manufactured in cahoots with Isabel Marant to increase the sales on her released-this-season snow boots or b) just a testament to her indelible and incredible, perpetually lasting bout of luck? I can’t remember Sorel ever having it this easy with their boots and the corresponding climate.

Still, today does mark the official first day of fashion week and if I’m going to be really honest with myself, it therefore pisses me off plus-or-minus five octanes that to wear shoes, real, beautiful, multi-colored suede shoes, means to concede to fall, at least six times, and potentially eat ice peppered with New York’s finest brand of pollution.

So what does one do in the event of foot-immobility? Protest, of course. Remain stationary. Interminably click through the slideshow of street style photos as accrued by myself and Charlotte and presented here. I’ll do it slowly and stop over slide #2 to spend considerable time figuring out exactly how to approximate the woman in that image, with her perfectly ripped jeans at a novel floor length and the smart and functional red accent that comes as an iPhone case and then remember that, even though I am pretty sure I actually own those shoes, oh yeah, I can’t wear suede shoes.

So, I’ll bite the damn bullet, put on something rubber and electively release myself into the wild. Maybe I’ll wear Pharrell’s now notorious Grammy hat? Maybe I won’t.

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Thoughts?
  • Chelsea J

    I, too was hit by the “piss flavored slush” yesterday, causing me to throw my hands in the air on the corner of Broadway and Franklin and shout a loud “are you FUCKING kidding me”… as if the cab driver driving 40 down Franklin could A) hear me and B) care. I must say that I’d rather get hit with piss flavored slush every day than live anywhere else. I think.

  • http://www.lelalondon.com/ Lela London

    March on, comrade. For once in 24 years, I am happy I am in the UK’s version of shit weather.

    xo,
    Lela

  • Maureen Krezel French

    and why are we so stubborn as to not want to buy snow boots….i cant even by those rubber wadey things …i shovel snow in 10 year old suede uggy things…since they are at least warm…or my slippers…i have done that…I live in the land of hills and unplowed parking lots across the H river…and yesterday sucked….this morning it was beautiful ice…I don’t need snow boots…i need shoes with spikes —on the bottom!

  • Joana Gomes

    In London is, surprisingly, not half as bad. At least it’s not snowing (while we have a major tube strike).

    Joana x When You Dream Big

  • Nico

    In tuscany is not snowing and today there is sun…not so bad!

    NEW OUTFIT and 5 Spring’s trends to buy on lowbudget-lowcost Fashion Blog

    • M

      Yes! Since December!

  • RowenHope

    Slide 2 would be a great look for you, but I’m guessing slide 18 is a mild suggestion of the conundrum that fashion-figures are currently facing in NYC. Concede to the rubber boots for the sake of not ruining anymore shoes! *finger crossed* in the hopes that you and your team avoid anymore run-ins with slushy piss :)

    http://www.rowenhope.com/

  • hila

    why can’t they make NICE snow boots?!?!?!

  • Ehav

    Yo, move to the Bay area. NYC is so last decade.

  • Charlotte Fassler

    Today I am wearing 50 shades of plaid. Trying to approximate that brigade of plaid people, but in one outfit. I MIGHT LOOK CRAZY.

  • Sarko

    Oh your style of writing…you are my soul twin ))))))

  • http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/ Mafalda

    Well I think that with tartan coats, faux fur and all the likes, it shouldn’t be too bad. All these outfits are really cool. But it’s true, it’s hard to not look shit when it’s cold. I’m currently looking shit.

    Mafalda ❤
    http://www.mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr

    • Charlotte Fassler

      Amen!

  • Niamh Mulville

    For the first time ever, I think the weather is actually better in Ireland than in New York!

    Niamh x

    http://drfashionn.blogspot.ie/

  • Akm

    The Scandinavians know how to do cold weather chic better than anyone – lots of thin layers, flat shoes with rubber soles, belted coats that they actually button up – sorry but am getting tired of seeing coats flung on shoulders – this trend needs to go.

    Showing photos of chic Parisians bundling up in pretend cold (40deg! ) only makes me more grouchy….

    • Andie Schlather

      I second that. What good does the flung coat even do? It doesn’t actually keep you warm (even in the “pretend cold” which, I’ll add, is still 20 degrees too cold for me). Not to mention that you have to spend the day operating with t-rex arms, lest the coat falls off your shoulders and everyone wonders, why doesn’t she just WEAR THE COAT like a normal person??

    • Alexandra

      I agree!! Scandinavians know how to do the cold in style.. Canadians know how to do it but haven’t got the style thing down yet. Matching Canada Goose coats for all here.

  • Oui Capitan

    I’d switch with you in a heartbeat. We didn’t even get a winter here in Los Angeles and we’re about to face a drought this year. It even hit the 90′s a few weeks ago. I despise the heat!

    • Tamara

      Ummm…not sure you’ll find a lot of sympathy for that sentiment in these parts… For the drought, yes, for sure. Those are scary, especially since you get those fires in Cali. But for beautiful warm weather, sandals and sundresses? Yeah, no sympathy here. If you’d like to know how we feel, go layer up until you look 10lbs heavier, frizz your hair, rub your lips and hands with sandpaper, and then catch a glimpse of yourself close up in your car mirror…

  • LaRaeRae

    BUT WINTER BOOTS ARE SO CUTE.

  • Glizty_sey

    They were staying a gorgeous even under unpleasant weather. How could they do that?
    London is same. dump, wet, windy, grey, so I’d stay in the gallery

    http://thestyleart.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Glizty_sey

    They were staying a gorgeous even under unpleasant weather. How could they do that?
    London is same. dump, wet, windy, grey, so I’d stay inside the galleries
    http://thestyleart.blogspot.co.uk

  • Alexandra

    k but you should feel ESPECIALLY sorry for people in Canada.. where this is the norm in the winter (but colder) and you aren’t allowed to complain about it all the time.

    So if any of you ladies have hot brothers seeking marriage ( American, preferably looking to live in a warm state) get at me.

    I appreciate all the cold weather fashion tips I can actually use!

    -Alexandra the “Mail order Canadian”

    http://www.luckyrabbittesfoot.com

    • Kandeel

      I feel you so much though i grabbed my wool coat today and my mom just gave me a “thats not happening” look and handed me my north face which I DESPISE. Well at least i got the grandpa sweater with black skinnies look today. (P.S. I still refuse to buy winter boots. I borrow my brother’s timbs if its really that bad but i change into my chelsea boots as soon as i get inside)

    • CatsMeow

      It’s not that you’re not allowed to complain, you just don’t because you know it won’t do you any good. It’s the same in Chicago where we are having the coldest winter on record so every time I speak to my mom (who lives in NYC) and she complains about the cold, I just tell her to be quiet & grateful that she can actually stay outside for more than 5 min.

      I am going on the hunt for some style blogs from Russia, Poland, Iceland yes the Nordics where this level of cold that we have is the norm…. I need some genuine inspiration !

      • Alexandra

        Exactly! being able to physically stand outdoors and not die is something people take for granted. Let me know if you find some good cold weather blogs!!
        -www.luckyrabbittesfoot.com

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    I’m really digging that purple hooded vest!! So furry and cute!!

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com

  • zhanna

    I know it is impolite to laugh or even smile in disguise at someone being hit with the ‘piss flavored slush’ but I have to say you made me laugh with your contemplations about NY current weather :-) I live in Ireland, there is no snow, but I get pissed off by the never stopping winter rain. Love your blog for ever eloquent and elaborate writing style, and of course your interminable sense of humor! <3 http://www.stylehenge.com

  • Irina

    I had to navigate through those piss-tainted frozen oceans yesterday too…disgusting. Was it raining? Was it snowing? I have no idea and I don’t think even the weather itself knew. But I’ll take this any day over freezing polar-vortex Chicago weather!

    -Irina
    (www.missirina.com)

  • Georgia Booth

    Thank you so much for this! I’m coming to New York on Sunday, leaving 40degree Celsius weather in Australia and am at a loss on what to wear because I’ve never experienced anything under 10 degrees before. This blog has been a lifesaver and source of wonderful and helpful information! Thank you!

  • PCFashionista

    Its not just snowing in NYC… its snowing in Texas. FUCKING TEXAS. I’m not made for this shit. thank god i still look cute.

  • YouGotThis!

    So out of form for you I feel—you love a good challenge and snow is it! Accept the challenge gracefully, embrace New York, and rock it… I mean… of all people, YOU can do it!! xx

  • Brie

    i’ve been flipping back and forth on snow boots, should i buy some? no, not this year…. BUT we’re about to get more snow this weekend in Kansas and i just do not know what to do with myself. maybe i’ll just wear my flat otk boots and call them snow boots, or slide on my moto boots and be done with it. or i’ll say fuck it and rock socks and sandals b/c i do what i want! no suede, gawd, never the suede. do you want me to cry? ugh, winter you fickle bitch get out of here!

  • http://b-tg.tumblr.com/ Colleen Garrity

    That’s the most fashionable and chilliest kiss I’ve ever seen!

  • http://www.thehipsterhousewifexx.blogspot.com/ The Hipster Housewife

    Cold weather dressing is the best. Youse guys are cah-razy. Tip, buy men’s winter boots (as long as your 6ft tall and have giant feet like yours truly). For some reason they have an ass kickin factor women’s boots can not duplicate. I scored a crazy cool pair with this incredible plaid lining at MARSHALLS. They’re suede, but all you have to do is treat your suede ladies. They make a waterproofer for that. Duh.

  • Tamara

    Ok forget the shoe thing for a second. Who the f*ck is wearing white in this filthy slushy hell??

  • katja kozlevčar

    honestly, I don`t now how people do it. I attended Men`s fashion Week in Paris a few weeks ago, it was freezing cold, like seriously, coooooold!! and people still managed to wear short shorts, no socks, no winter coats, no scarves to protect from ice age wind. I was wrapped into a dozen layers, thinking “the hell with everything, just keep me warm!”

  • Yvonne

    We feel the same way up here in TO. This graphic T gives us hope. Come on Spring!!!
    http://teespring.com/spring2014