Explaining Fashion Week to Your Parents

by The Writers
February 10, 2014
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Be nice to them, they produced you.

PhilOH9e81da2379229483bca89962cf4e5a37

Just like DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince sang, parents just don’t understand fashion week. It’s about as foreign to our moms and dads as a cucumber farm on Mars, and who can blame them? Fashion week is fucking weird. Nothing makes sense, starting with the fact that even though it’s called fashion “week” it spans so much longer.

Because they tend to ask us the same things twice a year, every year, Leandra and I thought it would be nice to put together a definitive list of that which parents need to know. Print it out, tape it to the fridge, slip it in their pockets or email it to them when they start asking you too many questions — any way you choose to do it, we hope this helps.

– Shows almost always start 20 minutes late, so if you’re going to a 5 PM show, it’s totally acceptable to leave at 5 to get there “on time.” (Except for Marc Jacobs. That show is prompt as fuq.)

– Don’t pick your nose in public because you never know whose street style photo you might be accidentally bombing.

– It takes about 20 minutes to get to a show with traffic, 15 minutes minimum for the crowd to sit down, 10 more for the photographers to back away from Joe Jonas, and it’s all for a spectacle that’s going to last 7 minutes.

– Once the designer takes his closing bow everyone jumps up and runs out the door like their seats are on fire. Understandable, since they have a show in 4 minutes. But like we just said, that show won’t start until 20 minutes after it’s scheduled, so everyone is panicking and bottlenecking for no reason. Just stay calm and look for the stairs.

– Everyone is incredibly dressed up, even though when push comes to shove it’s just another day of work. It’s partially because of the street style photographers, or in other words, paparazzi for non-famous people. This is our equivalent of wearing a tie and jacket because the boss is in the office that day.

– Often you will see people change their outfits several times throughout the course of the day. This is may be because they are getting paid to wear what they’re wearing, or they are providing photographers with substantial street style fodder. It’s also possible they just hated their outfit or were wearing a scratchy sweater and needed to switch it up.

– “Who IS that person getting photographed? Are they The Beatles?” Sometimes a bunch of photographers will surround one person, creating a frenzy of other photographers who join in out of fear that they could be potentially missing something.

– If you’re going to a show anywhere other than Lincoln Center, it’s best to avoid the actual location by car and just walk the extra blocks. You’ll get there faster.

– Front row is typically reserved for fashion’s heavy weights, the big buyers, celebrities, children on laps, individuals with large social followings, and Joe Jonas. Sometimes you’ll see someone with a huge shopping bag or a rotary telephone instead of a purse. You’ve never seen them in your life and you’re wondering how they got that spot. Chances are, they’re a seat crasher. A rare, brave breed of ballsy fashion students or tourists who wandered in off the street. Mom, this could be you if you play your cards right.

– Your communication skills will be compromised by the conversations you will not have to, but want to participate in. You’ll find yourself speaking such layman words as, “everything,” “moment,” “chartreuse,” and “so good, right?”

– The most important thing to understand about fashion week is this: Instagram or it didn’t happen. Oh, you “SAW” the streaker at Prabal? Well if you didn’t get a picture and post it to the ‘gram, no one will believe you.

And if you get sick from not wearing a coat? Joke’s on you, mothafucka. Only the strong survive.

(JK! We’d never say muthafucka to our parents. But still, no coat = your journey.)

Image shot by Phil Oh

REPLIES
  • Rougeuse

    This is hilarious!

  • Seyi Kareem
  • mywhiteT

    Love this post, funny but absolutely true. mywhiteT.com

  • Karen Liesens

    Very funny and so true!

    x Karen
    http://dressinginlabels.blogspot.com

  • Sara

    haha this is so great. I loved the parts about Joe Jonas!

    http://www.outfitoffender.com

  • Adrianna Grężak

    This is the second time I hung out at Lincoln Center as a street style photographer (www.adriannagrezak.com), and the first time I attended a fashion show. I’m totally one of those people who will join a group of photographers – it’s much easier to spot people running towards a person, than to look for interesting outfits myself. Also, it’s easier to photograph someone who is already posing, than to ask somebody if I could take their picture.

    I was also struck by how fast the people in the front row stood up to leave once the show as over. I’ve never seen so many women (with fur coats draped over their shoulders, I might add) leave a room with such purpose. Most people are glued to their smartphone screens, and I literally heard people compare notes about Instagram hashtags

  • Stefanie

    Haha! I have to say, I’m loving your guys’ fashion week updates. Thanks for making it entertaining and keeping it real!
    http://www.evolstyle.me

  • ludo

    haper beckhem did just fine picking her nose at the front row.

  • lessie

    this speaks to me in so many levels

  • Stephanie

    Briliiant post. So hilarious and thanks for sharing some humorous insight into an event that often seems so overly-stuffy glamorous.

    http://ishowedupinboots.com

  • Kat

    Todays FWs are just too funny, everything must be photographed, everyone wants to be photographed,…. almost as funny as this post of yours, which is absolutely hilarious!!

    xx
    Kat
    http://katiquettestyle.blogspot.com/

    http://katiquettestyle.blogspot.com/

    http://katiquettestyle.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.editorialite.com/ Maggie Winterfeldt

    This is hilarious, and I can So relate on so many levels. News to me, however, was how big of a NYFW heavyweight Joe Jonas is!
    http://www.editorialite.com

  • Yael
  • Ana González

    hahaha, i love this post! I think not only older people but also people who doesn´t care a bit about fashion unknow all this facts, is another universe. They don´t get all the fuss about it.

    LAZYCATSTYLE

  • misssophisticate

    Too good!!

  • Molly

    This just describes the insanity fashion week has become when in reality it is just a chance for buyers, fashion editors and directors to see what they will be selling/showcasing in the coming months.

  • http://www.amusedblog.com/ Amber

    “only the strong survive” the perfect way to sum up fashion week!!

  • Tinkerbell of Laka

    For the first time I read something from this blog, and it is so good, right:))) LOve it!

  • The Fashion Panda

    Hahah I love reading your nice funny thoughts :)

    http://www.thefashionpanda.be
    http://www.thefashionpanda.be

  • Iba

    Everyone not wearing a coat and tights should get an award for not getting sick! :D

    http://i-velen.blogspot.de

  • Lucila

    So funny! And so true!!

  • Fashion & Philosophers

    This list is on point. Perceptive insights MR. “So good, right.” fashionandphilosophers.com

  • Jordan L.

    So very accurate.

  • Niss

    this is the best article!

  • Bella

    One of my favourite posts!

  • Chloe H

    SO glad this is written! I love this kind of observation from you guys.

  • Dina
  • Maria

    Super cool! I’m going to try the seat crashing :-)

    Maria
    http://www.ccenengels.com

  • http://yourchicstatement.com/ your CHIC statement

    This has given culture shock a brand new meaning!

    Lin @ http://www.yourchicstatement.com

  • Modupe Oloruntoba

    lol, I’d give my parents this list… except that last bit. just no. :)

  • Dalilah

    Loved this post! completely agree with the coat thing! haha
    http://www.nabiila-bee.blogspot.co.uk

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