Winter, We Are Through

Don't make me break up with you, New York

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Drop the jar. Flag up. We surrender. I said “uncle” and the towel has been thrown. It is so cold that in spite of my most profound effort to put forward lessons in layering that could assuage the pungency of, ugh, snow boots, we have no choice but to dress weather appropriately.

Of course, if you’re Charlotte, that still means looking cute-as-shit in a way that doesn’t actually call to mind fecal matter but if you’re Amelia, you’re essentially forfeiting your LTB (license to bone) in the name of looking like an L.L. Bean catalogue male model — but not just male, a little boy with long hair. She is basically torn between two worlds that tug her in the directions of Maine and South London.

I, on the other hand, look like I am a lost child waiting for my parents at the grocery store of life. My point of victory is simply in that if I look hard enough and squint my eyes and tilt my head and fake an accent, I also kind of feel like a personal style blogger based out of the U.K. — leather pants, Nike running sneakers, navy blue turtleneck sweater et al.

Every season I try to get by without purchasing a pair of snow boots and every season the climate punishes me for my Type-B antics. I won’t give up though. In fact, fuck this. All of this. As members of the Internet and further, the society it has cultivated (the greatest thing about this club is that all you need is computer access and operating Internet connection to join!), one of our most impressive coups is that we live in a world devoid of impediments like weather and so forth. So why not seize the fantasy and officially dub this afternoon Wet Hot American Summer?

Also, please tell me you’ve seen that movie. By the power vested in me and Bill Gates (if he’ll sign on, that is) I hereby declare day two of the Polar Vortex’s revival just another summer day. Forget your earmuffs and scarf and those ugly ass boots with traction. Sink into your chair, shelve your chin on your desk and marvel in the near-tangible thought of sunglasses and bathing suits and sweat that runs down your arms and inner thighs (what?) for the duration of this cold front.

Frankly, I might buy a bikini to remind summer that I haven’t given up on it. Maybe newfound proprietorship will catalyze the climate changing process or maybe it won’t. Whatever. Just fuck it. That’s all. Strip down, play music, think about bright colors and pineapple scarves and Edie Parker clutches and cocktail umbrellas and just fuck it.

Now, all in favor of staying in until May, say I.

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Thoughts?
  • Amara Howe

    ‘ I also kind of feel like a personal style blogger based out of the U.K. — leather pants, Nike running sneakers, navy blue turtleneck sweater et al. ‘ – hahaha, perfect! great post, i’ve recently invested in zara’s new collection pastel blue leather jacket, not sure if it’s too soon to bring out the pastels, least it keeps me (sorta) warm?!

    http://www.confessingfashion.co.uk

  • Dominique

    hahaha great post!!

    new post up!

    http://www.dominiquecandido.blogspot.com

  • Quinn Halman

    How does Charlotte do it?! Here is grumpy quinn walking her dog this past weekend in a -25 feels like -32 blizzard I was wearing sweat pants

    • Charlotte Fassler

      Looks can be deceiving Quinn! Those pants are warm-ass under armour, the coat is insulated and hiding the largest sweater known to all Grandpas, and a large pair of thick wool camping socks are inside those boots!

      • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

        So, so efficient! It’s like it’s inherent to you despite being a SoCal lady.

  • https://www.etsy.com/shop/amatoriaclothing Amatoria Clothing

    I am so glad that you are not the kind of person who loves snow storms. I have been done with the cold since the first day in October, where the temps dropped below 40 degrees. Hopefully, this will be the year I actually move somewhere warmer….

  • Sophie

    Yes bbes, yes. Do it.

    sophie x

    http://your-girl-is-lovely.blogspot.co.uk

  • https://www.etsy.com/shop/amatoriaclothing Amatoria Clothing

    Who would like to see Anna Dello Russo channelling Marvin the Martian/Flavor Flav?

    #37 on Slide Show- Harper’s Bazaar:

    http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/street-style/street-style-haute-couture-spring-2014#slide-37

    • https://www.etsy.com/shop/amatoriaclothing Amatoria Clothing

      By the way… I just had to Google how to spell “Flavor Flav”.

  • Ana Lu Garro

    “I am a lost child waiting for my parents at the grocery store of life” That sentence right there made me want to keep reading through the whole thing. I’m sorry NYC’s weather is so shitty you should come to Mexico it is cold but it’s definitely not snowing!

  • http://italianspecialoccasions.com/blog hiddenitaly

    Take a break from snow.. travel abroad :-) WHy not visit Florence for a customized fashion tour? http://italianspecialoccasions.com/blog/fashion-artisan-workshop-tour-florence

  • Élora

    Why do you do this to me? All these pictures of happy people putting their bare legs on because it’s hot and sunny. I’m dying inside. Montreal this morning was -28°C, feels like -ONE BILLION. Let’s all move to Bermuda.

  • Aubrey Green

    I love the photos. I couldn’t live somewhere it was below 50-60 – I live in California, so I’m pretty set. Also, sorry.

  • Adrianna Grężak

    I’ve lived in NYC (East Village) for 6.5 years, and I think I hate the winter here more every year. I’ve left my apartment twice the last three days – to buy food 4 blocks away.

  • Lilli

    WHY IS EVERYONE SO UNKEEN ON THE COLD AND SNOW!?! I have never seen that beautiful white shit and can’t wait to live in NY or London …please enlighten me why it’s not bad!!!w

    • Adrianna Grężak

      It’s very pretty while it’s snowing, but quickly turns into dirty, brown slush in the city. Also, it’s very unpleasant to walk in the cold and wait for the subway in an outdoor station. I dress in practical layers and heavy coats, but I found that the cold is borderline painful after losing 40 pounds of weight/natural insulation.

  • Rebeka Osborne

    That song was made for this post. I hate all those tanned bitches in those pictures, all warm and happy (Ok by bitches I mean babes, TOTAL babes and by hate I mean I’m so jealous). I need some forever summer in my life. I promise I won’t even miss fall!

  • madeleine

    I’m norwegian, trust me… we’re through. To survive 6 months of hell and still be nicely dressed I have some ground rules. Take this from a scandinavian.

    1. Heels break ice.

    2. Anything can be re-soled.

    2. Socks and layering honey.

    3. No thermal pants or boots with tha fur (t-pain is from space where they wear furry boots).

    4. NO BITCHING.

    5.Look like happy PFW chicks in chiffon.

    http://madeleineholth.com/2014/01/22/flowers-of-evil/
    - Charles Baudelaire, Edgar Allan Poe, Kurt Vonnegut, Charles Bukowski, Arthur Rimbaud and Henry Miller all agree with me that there’s no shame in the sale shopping game.

  • Josephine Baker

    Hahahaha I hate winter too!

    http://mybeautifullife.me/

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    I envy your Type-B-ness, Leandra. Wish my Type-A antics would take a break and you know, relaxxxxx, man.

  • blackonthecanvas

    Love the post! I didn’t know she was of Turkish-Persian descent..I like her more now:)

    Check out my new blog http://www.blackonthecanvas.com for good music, and creative stuff!

  • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

    Hm, since you’re thirsting for some colors (let’s ignore the winter cause nothing can be done about it, even Londoners know that :-)): where’s your hot red wool coat? And a pair of non-black boots? :-) A hot pink scarf full of tiny wiggles, dots, lines and whatnot? :-)

  • Dandy,

    Well it’s really hot in Australia! and looking at the snow kind of seems nice! but you always wish for the opposite I guess!

  • Brie

    i just bought some weave Jeffrey Campbell oxfords b/c i’m SICK OF WINTER and they are admittingly summer shoes. snow boots would be such a good investment, where we both live, but i just can’t bring myself to click on that check-out button. besides my toes aren’t the ones freezing, it’s my phalanges!

  • Lucy

    Woohoo! The winter first outfit post I can relate to! As a MinneSNOWtan, I haven’t taken off my sleeping-bag coat in 2 months. YES its heinous and ugly, but I’m Type A and I won’t subject my bones to this hell.

    4 months until Spring in MN……

  • http://style-delights.blogspot.com/ STYLE DELIGHTS

    I.

  • http://c-estclairette.blogspot.com/ Clairette

    Thanks for this! I am a serious winter hater, but all I hear from friends is stupid phrases like “Why don’t you go for a nice winter wonderland walk?” or “Have a cup of tea, relax on the sofa and enjoy winter cozyness”. I’d rather choose a chilled Mojito over a cup of tea, a sunbed over a sofa and a beach tan over a “winter wonderland walk”. Besides, I hate stockings! How about a story on the contradiction of fashion and stockings? I have noticed that none of the fashion girls Tommy Ton shoots ever wears stockings, even if it snows…

  • Omaye Aduku

    Great post! I’m actually addicted to this site. Sorry NYC weather is so shitty, I can actually say that the weather in Edinburgh is much better! Very Surprising
    yeground.com

  • Tamara

    I. I. I. I don’t wanna be a good girl. I wanna wear sandals. I wanna go out to lunch. I wanna feel NORMAL again! ( please please please tell me you’re not too young to get the movie reference. Well, I know you are, actually too young to have seen it in theaters, but I KNOW you have to have seen the movie!)

    • diane

      Private Benjamin, right? I especially love the way she intoned the word “sandals.” Would you hate me if I told you I am wearing my new Isabel Marant sandals as I write this from California, not to boast but to empathize with Goldie due to my own lifelong sandal obsession.

      • Tamara

        Can’t hate you for being smarter than I…especially since you “get” the movie reference…

        • diane

          Sometimes when I am feeling especially whiney, I mutter “I want to wear sandals again,” but nobody has ever gotten the joke. It was the best line in that movie, right?

          • Tamara

            Don’t forget, ” is this the only color these come in?”

  • Sarah Julia LeBlanc

    PREACH

  • Behind the Mirror

    this winter is a bitch, I can’t, I am over this weather even more than I am over hashtags…

  • Jen B

    LOL. Have sean that movie (many times) and my cousin Michael Showalter co-wrote and starred in it too!! When I absolutely have to, and I’ve had to a lot (live in Chicago), I rock these LL Bean numbers…
    http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/43281?feat=506708-GN2&page=women-s-bean-boots-by-l-l-bean-reg-10-quot-shearling-lined&attrValue_0=Brown/Brown&productId=732934

  • chatNoir

    Winter blows dead goats.

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    Haha I totally had Camille Over the Rainbow in mind when you mentioned the UK outfit. :P

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com

  • mysouldress

    eres muy simpatica…..

  • milly

    ew to winter. love your outfit. also loving the sunglasses on jessica hart, anyone know who they’re by?

  • Bella

    Hear, hear! New fashion statement of 2014? The runny nose. Not really, though.

    bellasfashionstatements.blogspot.ca

  • http://www.lezu.com/ L’ezu

    When it gets really cold it can be hard to show off the look you have put together. That’s why we love living in LA! All spring accessories are available at http://www.LEZU.com