Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?

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January 31, 2014

The forecast is 35° and punny. (Badum-cha!)

On the heels of Karen Walker’s most recent look book release, which included a selection of Kenyan artists posing in her frames, it occurred to us that sunglasses are indubitably the unsung hero of winter accessorizing.

If you think about it, the tools we use to cloak our heads and wrap our necks and force our fingers into fractured knit compartments for the sake of maintaining our warmth aren’t a group of particularly thrilling accessories to indulge in. They’re much more a necessity. But where sunglasses are concerned — and make no mistake, they are — there’s a unique thrill that comes with their decorated anonymity and a viable scope of fashion-elicited escapism.

Remember that scene in the critically acclaimed film Big Daddy when Adam Sandler is trying to help his effectively kidnapped son, Julian, overcome his reticence? Like a kid trapped in the body of an unfledged grown-up, Sandler tells Julian that if he puts on his sunglasses every time the plague of timidity strikes, no one will be able to see him, thus cutting his fear and presenting a much larger takeaway for us.

You see, sunglasses can be your mask. They can embolden you behind bug-eyed lenses, making you the Anna Wintour (Costume Institute) of your local supermarket. Whose that mystery woman buying a rotisserie chicken and toilet paper?, people might wonder. With sunglasses, you’re instantly always possibly a celebrity.

But they also have some magical ability to make every outfit exponentially better. Picture yourself in a burlap snooze sack — now add a pair of sunglasses. Excuse me, I think you just became Madame Prada on her most chic day.

Because who you are is who your sunglasses want you to be. But the beauty is, you’re the one buying the shades.

Maybe yesterday you were an alien, and today you are a model. Tomorrow you might be an editor and on hump day you’re a goddamn princess with sunglasses shaped like starfish.

So without further ado, here’s your Saturday slideshow served chilled with a side of shopping on Friday. Play this song, fuck the week, and buy some sunglasses because as Amelia said earlier today in bullshit regard to the cold uniting us all, it may just get you through February.

  • Amanda S.

    Hey! Isn’t this post supposed to be published tomorrow? If not, then what am I supposed to wake up to tomorrow morning?

    • Amelia Diamond

      Christmas came early this week!

  • Sarah

    I wore my sunglasses out one day during the polar vortex. After 5 minutes they froze on my face and gave me a huge headache. Winter fail.

  • http://funkymonkynancy.tumblr.com/ Nancy S.

    I always feel invincible when I wear shades…like people can’t tell what I’m thinking. They do say your eyes are windows into your soul. Sometimes I don’t want people to see my soul…I like to keep my soul private thank you.

    The Artistically Challenged: Beauty, Fashion, Music, Lifestyle Blog

  • Katie

    So, are we saying it doesn’t have to be sunny to wear sunglasses? I just want to check because I’m often ridiculed for my ‘undercover from the paparazzi look’ and I just need to know it’s actually okay and I have the moral highground.

    http://katelouiseculture.wordpress.com/

    • sarah

      i wear sunnies everyday. summer winter, as long as it is daylight. it’s a habit, that the minute i walk out the door, they are on my face. to the point that my eyes have become very light sensitive. i’m not so sure if it’s a good thing health wise, i guess time will tell if they are protecting me or doing harm. i have about 3 pairs in rotation, and i love that i can change up my look so easily with them….so i say yes to your pap ready look. ;-)

  • http://www.Bodil-Lois.com/ Bodil Loïs Huisman

    The neon sunnies of the ELLE Rusia shoot are great.

  • http://www.stylevanity.com/ Alyssa Martinez

    I love wearing sunnies, that’s why I never bother with eye make up though I wish I have guts to wear it also at night LOL xD

    http://www.stylevanity.com

  • debraferg@gmail.com

    Good suggestion. My parka-which has become essential this winter–is slowly becoming my look! NOT GOOD! Thinking some funky sunglasses could change it up!

  • Roos

    love your blog!!! :) x

    thegirlintheyellowcoat.blogspot.com

  • girlinmenswear

    I always dance around putting my sunglasses on and then taking them off again as soon as someone looks at me for slightly longer than usual. I need to be more Italian about it. It can be snowing and they’ll have their sunnies on regardless.

    http://www.girlinmenswear.com

  • hila

    this post has such appropriate timing (aside from being February). Last week, I found out that my more than perfect vision is no longer so perfect, so for the first time I’m found embracing eyeglasses as a new accessory. Sunglasses always made me feel invincible, so I’m hoping regular glasses will have the same effect. :) I mean, when’s the last time anyone got to wear a new KIND of accessory? #kidinacandystore

  • Kelly Boyer

    Pointy sunglasses can really spruce up a neutral-y outfit.

    -Kelly http://www.hautetrader.com

  • The Civilian
  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    The power of sunglasses. I’m totally on it! :)

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com

  • marlin
  • john
  • http://www.giveashitaboutfashion.com/ Aurélia Bode

    any recommendations on nice, everyday sunnies? Not ray bans!