The Perfect Man or Perfect Jeans?

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December 10, 2013

Or is it the perfect man jeans?

Flannery O’Connor was right. A good man is hard to find but arguably more difficult could be the ineffectual result of what seems like every woman’s interminable search for the perfect pair of jeans. If we were to compare the two, what would you deem more difficult, more important, more gratifying to find after beginning a final descent toward the finish line?

I’m inquiring because I believe I have located the man and frankly, it wasn’t that difficult. We fell into each other’s laps at the hand of an inappropriately marketed Halloween party for Jews and though the six year interim between meeting and marrying was chock full of consternation I am sure has shaved valuable years off my life, the actual meeting was, all things considered, pretty easy.

Some days, I think I found the perfect jeans, too. (For visual reference, one pair is black denim, high waist and ankle length because I cut them — by Acne. Another pair is hip hugging, light wash, ripped and by Paige. I think a third pair is white, flare leg and trouser-y but now I might be pushing it). The problem here is that simply by virtue of the previous clause being prefaced by “some days” and the inherent uncertainly tethered to a verb like “may,” it’s hard to declare the indelibility of that statement with conviction. So, which one is it?

Jeans.

Man.

Jeans?

Man?

Here’s where I stand. Jeans are not like soul mates, which are like cookies (as evidenced by the self-scribed Soul Seeking Mate), in that when you’re looking for them, you don’t want variety. You don’t want a pair that can weather your favorite cropped white twill blouse but render completely useless when considering a flannel plaid shirt. Conversely, you also don’t want a pair that will put a shining light on the latter if it means futility when considering the former. You want a cake. A single, definitive flavor that will never fail you. And why won’t it fail you? Because it is reliable. It is exactly what you ordered and as such, maintains the ability to unflinchingly stay on the positive side of the radar that informs your calibration of moods.

Men are not all that different. The chief distinction here is that you want them to evince the spirit of cookies, or an all-you-can-eat buffet without compromising the most important attribute of your cake — that it’s there, that it’s one, that it will allow you to be its singular owner forever and always should you so please.

But when considering the state of perfect, subjectivity is obviously a key factor. So what’s perfect for me might be miserable for you but I’m going to take a leap of unwarranted faith here and declare that until this point, finding the all-encompassing pair of perfect jeans has been as fruitless an endeavor as Michael Cera’s trying to grow a mustache. Of course, that is subject to change, the problem is that as one Twitter follower so astutely pointed one when the question was initially posited: there’s no Tinder for denim.

So, which one is it?

  • EmmaM147

    Lovely post! You can’t beat a pair of boyfriend jeans!

    Emma x

    http://www.beautyandrags.co.uk

  • Q

    much like you my perfect man was not that hard too find…. although I must add I wasn’t exactly looking and i think that was the key too it all….. for the jeans?…. I am constantly looking for that perfect pair….. I own about 185 pairs to date… they are have different functions…. some are for my ‘plump’ days and others for my ‘feeling light’ days …. different washes, cuts, rise, prints, materials and lengths… but in all honesty… none are ‘perfect’…. there are brands I stick with as I know what to expect.. they don’t work the magic I seek…. but they do no harm to whats already there…(trust me I have had mad moments and purchased some that were just plain wrong!… I might add that that was only in hindsight!)…. so in conclusion… a man is much easier!…. the perfect jean??…. sooooooo elusive!.

    http://www.myclayexperience.com/

  • ReadER451

    If only I could purchase Mr. Right on shopbop as easily as I can purchase these mr. right jeans…. le sigh.

    http://www.shopbop.com/right-jeans-goldsign/vp/v=1/1523128394.htm?folderID=2534374302029428&fm=other-shopbysize&colorId=12210

  • Tb

    My Mr. Right jeans are a pair of Love Story by j brand … Ain’t it ironic ?

  • CharlotteC

    Aren’t they both myths? should i keep on looking then? HELP!

  • Kari

    My current “perfect” jeans are my Mavi Serena super skinny’s,in dark indigo and I also have them in black, I can (and do) wear one or the other with damn near anything. Bonus for being super affordable.

  • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

    Funny, I may or may not own a … huge pile of jeans to choose from, but I haven’t been known as a picky man chooser … I just took the first I REALLY fancied (for keeping) :-)

    But there actually exists a pair of jeans I’d love to keep forever. They are dark blue and their name is “Angel” :-) Yeah, I know, still. They come with a tag about being produced locally (in Germany) and are really simply good.

  • Quinn Halman

    Jeans over man because you can be a denim polygamist

  • sheree

    There is no such thing as the perfect man..so its jeans by default..everyone can find the pair for them eventually..a man will only be perfect in your imagination.

  • Virginia

    So much easier to find Mr. Right Jeans. You can try on multiple pairs
    and not feel bad about it, until you come to the perfect pair. J Brand,
    is a real winner!

  • Gizelle

    k. all the chics in those photos have LONG lean legs! which makes any type of jean look great. I’ll take long skinny legs over the perfect man and perfect jean!

    • ana

      ah ah… my thoughts exactly. I keep on buying jeans after jeans thinking they will make my legs longer.
      Anyway, favorites for now Acne Needles (several washes) and Flex (pavement), one H&M, one APC flares (although they fit me better in my skinny days)…

  • http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/ Mafalda

    French saying: ‘So many men, so little time’. Totally applies to jeans.
    Gorgeous pictures, thanks Leandra.

    Mafalda ❤
    http://www.mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr

  • dustUP

    My beloved ACNE Generic Girl in One Wash from 2008 lead me to my man. It’s the most perfect baggy boyfriend jeans, indigo and without stretch, but very hard to find nowdays. I have an extra unworn pair in reserve, not something I recommend doing with men.

  • Aubrey Green

    I’m very conflicted.

  • Savannah

    Leandra, do you celebrate Purim? Just wondering.

    • Leandra Medine

      I do

  • Megan

    Omg, can you please tell me who those shoes are by in the first picture in the slide??

  • http://www.anorexicescapades.com/ BougieHippie

    How about the perfect guy in a nice fitting pair of dark denim… is that an option? Is it a sample sale soon for that????

    http://anorexicescapades.com/

    • http://cityhabit.wordpress.com Modupe Oloruntoba

      clever compromise… but not unless I can borrow his jeans and they’d better look hella fine on me. :)

  • Fred

    The man with perfect jeans. (So you could steal them, obviously.)

  • CDJ

    jeans don’t dry hump you in your sleep on the 4th date!

    • zoe_whip

      LOL – how true but they sometime give you a wedgie.

  • http://thoughtsofglam.com/ ThoughtsofGlam

    I think boyfriend jeans are only pulled off when paired with a really feminine shoe, preferably with a little heel or wedge. I think it elevates it to another level versus just making you look frumpy.

    Thoughtsofglam.com

  • Rose

    I have those Acne jeans, and I am wearing them right now. I have to say, they’re pretty perfect.

    Blonde in this City

  • Graciela Silva

    Well……I think is easier to find a perfect jean . It depends on your body type to me the best are Diesel

  • Namrata

    Whatever is more easier to attain and then maintain!

    Namrata
    http://seasoncheck.blogspot.com

  • Kris

    I’ve long searched for a pair of jeans I could wear everywhere. My two older sisters seemed to have it covered – it’s really only since I’ve started to be my own brand of stylish that I’ve hit upon my steady freddies, (BTW Uniqlo men’s jeans are to kill for – and at the London store they hem them for you for free in two hours!) and even then, I’m always looking for more. Does that make me unfaithful?

  • http://www.lezu.com/ L’ezu

    Such an amazing post. Such an accurate analogy. Love it! http://www.lezu.com