Playing Devil’s Advocate re This Morning’s Post
Men, Leandra. The Answer to Your Earlier Question Is Men.
Hi, so has Leandra actually been on Tinder? (Other than the 40 minutes where she conducted a highly scientific anthropological study.) Because in this morning’s post where she posed the question, What is harder to find? The perfect man, or the perfect jeans?, her conclusion was that while “perfect” is subjective in regards to both, there’s no dating app for denim, and therefore the apex of jeanswear is much harder to find. But she’s wrong. Locating the perfect man is significantly harder.
Before I go further allow me to qualify my own argument with two points of note:
1) I am not personally looking to find the holy grail of male-as-mate at this juncture in my life. I’m merely trying to prove the point that if one were on the search for both denim and lifelong romance, a quintessential indigo pant would manifest itself much sooner.
2) Finding the perfect jeans are far more important.
As a proud member of the 5’3″ Can-You-Reach-That-Shelf-For-Me-Club, I’ve been on the hunt for ideal denim before. Pants, as a community, have a reputation for fitting and hanging better on those who are tall. But it’s not as though the perfect jeans don’t exist (no matter your height), because I’ve clicked through enough e-retailers and browsed enough stores to know that actually, there are about a million pairs of blue that I’d like to be associated with on a personal level. I can sort my jean-search by wash, size, price, and designer, and then all I have to do is add them to my shopping cart. Sounds far more lucrative than Tinder — or any bar/set up/dating site/rodeo to me.
This whole “perfect man” thing, however… let’s unpack it. We’ve already agreed that the idea of human utopia is subjective. It’s also highly flawed when considering that we, as a species, are also flawed. A man can’t technically be perfect no matter how nice his hair is or how spot-on his sarcasm is. Said funny guy (with the really good manners!) could, for all intents and purposes, also be a serial killer.
But most men don’t harvest a blood thirsty secret that could eventually inspire Lifetime to create a made-for-TV movie about their murdering ways. Most men are just trying to get through life without offending someone by way of an accidentally awkward text or without pissing off their boss. They’re trying to make sure that they wore the right tie or said the right thing just as much as we stress out over our own outfits and conversations.
I’m not calling myself an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a 25-year-old woman who goes on dates and this much I’ve gathered: it takes about an awful lot more hours to sift through the weirdos, creeps, the assholes, the flings, than it does to go on to Net-A-Porter for a good pair of pants.
At the end of the day, when it comes to both the ideal jeans and the right guy, when you know, you know. But, as one of you pointed out earlier, the beauty of denim is that it’s not considered cheating when you own more than one pair.
And that’s kind of perfect.