Married to a Rapper
Sure, Kim Kardashian wouldn’t speak to us, but Elizabeth Fuller would.
Big news. BIG NEWS. Kanye proposed. Which means we’re on the brink of the second coming of the Era of Kimye. While the massive ring and inevitable wedding spectacle is fun and all, we’re hugely curious about married life with Kanye. Because as outrageous as his Jimmy Kimmel appearance may have been, Mr. West was spot on: he is weird, he is honest, and — sure — he’s probably a genius, too.
Knowing that no two people are the same, no two rappers are the same, and no one’s like Kanye, we went ahead and asked…the only wife of a rapper we know, Elizabeth Fuller, to provide some insight on home life with an actual emcee. So even though Joey 1ov3 leans more Kid Cudi than Kanye, we were still fascinated to hear about the eccentricities of domestic life with a creative mastermind.
Kim, if you’re listening, this one’s for you.
“Now keep in mind that I’m an artist, and I’m sensitive about my shit”
There’s a special class of artist whose level of sensitivity about their work far supersedes the normal threshold. They wake up, feel a driving need to put words together in a rhythmic structure, possibly throw in some curse words and nods to their disdain of pop-culture, set it to a beat stolen off the internet (if they’re new to the game) and proceed to tweet about said creation until the entirety of their social graph concedes to listen. Rappers. I’m talking about rappers. And I’m married to one. And he’s very sensitive about his shit.
The thing about living with a rapper, or anyone dedicated to an art, probably, is that they’re not quite like everyone else. Life with a rapper can be as unconventional as it is inspiring, but it takes a bit of adjustment. Here are some things you can expect.
Living with a musician, every scenario has its very own soundtrack. Tragedies — like the San Antonio Spurs losing the series — will be mourned with Tupac’s “So Much Pain” on loop. If you’re lucky, you won’t get stuck listening to Boyz II Men every time he’s feeling romantic or Trindad James’ “All Gold Everything” when he’s feeling slightly ratchet. The upside is that you can generally gauge his mood by his tracklist.
There will be periods when you find yourself emotionally boxed out by a pair of very large studio headphones. Do not take this as a personal attack against you, just let him work. In this phase you have to be willing to accept that should the choice be given between his two great loves, he might pick music.
As for sensitivity, I quickly realized that a rapper is a force when his wife will endorse, (see what I did there?) and really, that’s probably true in all relationships.
The fact of the matter is, Joey is an introspective man with a unique view on life and art, which endlessly enriches my life, and he’s an excellent musician. But some of his work is better than others. So, I’ve learned to trade in my personal mantra of “Everyone needs a hater like me” for anything that can be interpreted as positive. Let’s be clear: I’m not saying to lie. I can’t support that in any relationship. But the following fail-safe phrases should come in handy with your artist.
“You made this?!” Do you love it? Do you hate it? They’ll never know. This ambiguous phrase leaves it up to interpretation, and has tons of applications outside the relationship. (e.g., A terrible proposal comes across your desk, “You made this?!” Your newly independent friend tries to cook, “You made this?!” Works in every scenario.)
“I think people are going to really love this.” This can be tricky, and only works as a very closed train of thought with the hope that he doesn’t ask the follow up question, “but what do you think about it?” Because truth be told, you might not want to tell him.
“Wow!” This encompasses all emotions that you might be feeling after your first listen. However, it can easily be an I-hate-thiswow, or a great WOW, and the difference is all in your eyes. Channel your best Tyra Banks and just keep smizing, otherwise you’ll have one very bruised ego in need of a lot of tender love and care.
“The production quality is so good!” This is something that they’ll really want to hear, as production quality is very important, so there won’t be any focus on your actual opinion of the song. This is best used when you don’t like the content, tone or sound of the song you’re listening to.
The best part about these handy phrases, though, is that you’ll rarely need to use them. There’s a sort of magic in living with an artist and a joy in watching him or her create. So what’s it like being married to a rapper? Aside from having your husband regularly start conversations off with “It’s the Thuggish Ruggish Bone,” there’s not much difference between your significant other and mine.