I never went to Catholic school for several reasons — the most salient being that I am not Catholic. This makes it really unusual and borderline psychotic when I say things like, “If only my Catholic school teachers could see me now.” I think I have a really hard time slipping out of the identities that I assume when stepping into style cues. Speaking of, you’re probably wondering what genre of sartorial pursuit might make me think I’m Catholic, yes?
Well, it’s all in the polos. Stay with me here, I think I’m onto something.
Earlier this summer, I developed a mild case of the must-have-yous in correlation with polo shirts and what would happen was I’d get dressed, look into the mirror and think to myself, this would look so much cooler with a polo.
Why did I want to look like a retired tennis player or gym teacher or Catholic school student? What in the good name of crew necks was happening to me? Though the douche bag jar opened historically wide when polos first appeared on men, layered and with popped collars, the shirts somehow always looked relatively decent on guys. But when worn by women, they seemed like a sad, thrifty try at gender crossing.
I guess it was right around the time the recent resort collections were being shown that I realized they’re not so bad. They’re actually even kind of cool — especially as mandated by Rochas, Carven, and heck, even Marc Jacobs who displayed an off-duty locker-room tee for our purchasing pleasure.
Is this a reaction to the more masculine cues that female high fashion continues to take? Maybe, but success is in the manipulation. For Spring/Summer 2014, Rosie Assoulin and Alessandra Rich upped the anti in a decidedly further feminine iteration of the blouses (in the case of Rich, as a dress) and when I test-drove the trend you know what happened?
I looked like an angry beast begging for you to drop and give me 20. Naturally, too, I thought the inevitable — if only my Catholic school teachers could see me now.