The Pre-Fashion Week Cleanse

by Leandra Medine
August 23, 2013
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No I am not talking macrobiotic food all day every day, here, there, everywhere–though a bit of it probably isn’t half bad.

imageryWe’re less than two weeks away from the initiation of New York Fashion Week which will unveil the Spring/Summer 2014 collections over the course of what will inevitably feel like a marathonic seven days. Marathonic is not a word but in the spirit of the imminent Olympic games, I’m taking a page – well, the page – from The New York Times One Page magazine in the front of their weekly issue and proposing that That Should Be a Word.

But I digress.

I am not one of those people who ceaselessly complains when the shows are in near sight. I do not pretend that having to rush from, ugh, Jason Wu to Yigal Azrouel in, like, literally 5 minutes, is a stressful if not completely burdensome task. It doesn’t even really bother me that for six days I practically live on the free cereal bars they distribute at Milk Studios and the potato chips of my own purchasing. Furthermore, in fact, if the opportunity presented itself, I’d probably, nay, definitely participate in the well-heeled rally for an additional week.

I will, however, say, that right now in the short distance disconnecting me from fashion week, it seems like participating in my own, customized version of a cleanse is not a bad idea. And while I am sure you are thinking, Leandra, are you going to tell us to start eating raw food because that is fucked up, hear me out. I’m not going to say that. It’s not like we’re gearing up for Thanksgiving here.

This “cleanse” is actually of the mind and only really includes a few pretty simple assignments. The thing of it is, whether or not you’re participating is fashion week is irrelevant when considering the protocol I plan to assume in readying myself, so, are you ready? (To join me?)

1. I will read three books. One of which will probably be Consider the Lobster (again) because that book is like the Da Vinci code and reveals new, valuable information with every read. Another one might be Eating My Feelings: Tales of Overeating, Underperforming, and Coping with My Crazy Family by Mark Rosenberg because I’ve read that it is very funny and finally, I might dive into Victor Frankl’s Mans Search for Meaning because nothing says “pass the paillettes” like disheartening circumstances and psychotherapy, or some Freud because what’s more exciting than showing up at fashion week saying shit like, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”

2. I will also spend the next two weeks barefoot. This reminds me, I may also read How to Ride a Camel for Dummies to learn how to steer a camel, followed by How to Import a Camel for Dummies. Why? Because taxis, subways and buses may fail but you know what never does? A camel. Talk about a grand entrance.

3. I will avoid trendy restaurants and bars. Not because I want to seem elusive and mysterious, or because I’m trying to cut down on food and beverage. No. I just want to spend my free time learning how cook a pot pie. I will also learn to brew my own brand of  Moonshine because I just think that has a certain cache. I will definitely invite you over for some.

4. I may also refrain from showering which is not because I plan to do that a bunch during fashion week but because I think it’s probably fair that I get my body and hair used to the staleness.

5. And finally, I am committed to science, developers and sockets. I am looking into what it takes to turn myself into a human phone charger. If not for my own personal use than certainly because I’d like to become popular among the show-goers afraid to lose their jobs due to dead phones. If I could assuage their anxiety, I think I could die a very happy medical anomaly. Which also reminds me – you can use me whenever you need.

So, let’s do this, eh?

REPLIES
  • Lieryn

    Illusive or Elusive?

    • Leandra Medine

      THE LATTER! Thank you, thank you.

      • QC

        cache or cachet?

    • andrieya

      she was proposing another That Should Be a Word again ;)

  • Nycole Diana Sariol

    Since no one has left a comment yet, I will be the first one, er, I think the first one to say things like, “Here! Here!” and “Touche!” to the above content.

  • Naomi Schultz

    Love your irreverence – thanks for the real life, smart girl fashion week cleanse. Reading a book – nay, three, by golly! And nothing short of David Foster Wallace, for God’s sake! Fantastic.

  • CarolinaG

    Love your blog!!!
    I’m posting looks from L.A. and accessories:

    http://www.thegavlaks.com

  • (BAD) Blog About Design

    Let me know how the pot pie goes. Haha :)

    Check out the BAD blog…http://design-bad.blogspot.com/

  • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

    And music? :-)

  • Lauren

    Hey Leandra, have you set dates for your book tour? Isn’t the release date during fashion week?

    • Leandra Medine

      Hey! I will be in LA on the 17th and DC in the beginning of October as of right now. Keep you posted as dates fill in.

      • Perry

        And Toronto?

      • Ash

        You probably don’t plan to come to Seattle, but could you please come to Seattle? Thanks.

      • http://www.EatStylePlay.com/ Eat.Style.Play

        Rubs hands in a creep like manner for the DC dates!

  • ThisTrendThatTrend

    The best trick is the Mophie Pack- it holds a charge to charge your phone with no outlet for up to 2 weeks, my boss gave me one and it has been a LIFE SAVER! I highly suggest investing in one for FW. I am participating in my own cleanse beforehand as well- maybe I will see you there (again)!

  • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

    I’m definitely going barefoot.

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

  • http://eileentheooer.blogspot.com/ Eileen

    Thanks for the book recs Leandra! I literally laughed when I saw that Freud quote…and “grand entrance”…and human charger. Forever cracking me up, girl.

  • Kathy Jacobsma

    I’m actually going to be IN New York for Fashion Week this fall! Is it possible to crash Fashion Week? I’m going to find out.

  • Andrew

    Get it- CEREAL bars at MILK studios. ;)

  • http://rightternes.com/ RightTernes

    Moonshine and pot pie? Well shoot, we’ll just call you Miss Leandra May Dean in the south!

  • http://thecorporatecatwalk.blogspot.com/ Corporate Catwalk

    Walking around barefoot has to be truly appreciated the few weeks before FW.

    thecorporatecatwalk.blogspot.com

  • Bronte

    Looking forward to that glass of moonshine!

  • Madame Ostrich

    I know many have said this before, many will say this in the future, but I love your writing. I legitimately laughed out loud when I read, “Because taxis, subways and buses may fail but you know what never does? A camel. Talk about a grand entrance.”

    I mean, Suzy Menkes already compared Fashion Week to a circus… So why not?!

    XxMadame Ostrich
    MADAME-OSTRICH.com

  • Ariel Robert

    It must be pretty crazy, but I’d do some shady things to go to NYFW. Do you think people would notice if we traded places?

  • http://jessjoycej.wordpress.com/ Jessica Joyce

    I’m so happy you know about Viktor Frankl, especially! He’s one of my dad’s favorite authors, especially because of that book. A lot of my friends have been into David Foster Wallace, should I be ashamed that I haven’t read (or seen) anything of his yet? I’ll be on this cleanse, too.
    Your Friend, Jess

  • Anna Furman

    Amen sister!

  • Grace

    You the best. Srsly.

  • Matt

    I love you so much, you are the best! xoxox

    Hope to see you the 7th and 8th somewhere at FW!

  • Rachel

    Check this out: (n line with #5) https://everpurse.com

  • Guest
  • diane

    On a related note, I am going to be in Paris come Fashion Week and was wondering if there was any way an industry outsider (but robust consumer) could get into a show (any show)? I recall that Gilt Groupe once auctioned off seats to the NYC shows way back when they were still in the tents. Any advice?

  • s

    Glamour is a state of mind, good point. Plus, reading freud in public feels edgy, considering how trendy it is to dislike him in the pseudo-intellectual scene.

  • http://www.fancyalterego.wordpress.com/ Heather P.

    Sounds good to me! I’ve been looking for a new book to read (which I always do when I’m about 3/4 done with the one I’m currently reading), so I might have to pick one or two of those up. :-)

  • Nadja Harvingstin

    At least your lack of shoes will start a new toe nail polish trend!

    Maybe Anna Wintour will catch on and ditch her strappy sandals for bare feet too! haha!

    stylenutt.blogspot.com

  • Giuliana – TheArtSartorialist

    Blah… Check out The Art Sartorialist: Black Panther
    Also, you can follow me on bloglovin and on my Facebook Page!!!
    xxx
    Giu.

  • http://www.voguence.com/ Linda Wendel

    Your articles are just great! Always read them with a smile on my face! ;-)

    NEW BLOG:

    http://www.voguence.com
    http://www.facebook.com/thevoguence

  • Marie

    Where is The Great Coat from?

    • Leandra Medine

      It is from the Margia/HM collection!

  • Marie

    I am in love with your coat – where is it from?

  • Khensani

    Is it bad that the not showering thing was what excited me the most?

    • Leandra Medine

      Even more than becoming a human charger?

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    I want that pot pie to be instagrammed!! :P

    https://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/

  • ObviouslyAnon

    where is your hat in this photo from? Because i kinda need to purchase it… thanks!

  • CarlotaLMorais

    Leandra what is your september issue top 3?
    I would love to know your opinion because I only want to buy a REALLY GOOD ONE since they cost 10 or 15 euros!