RT @KellyOxford

by Leandra Medine
August 16, 2013
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New today in Funny Ladies Who Tweet

kelly tweet

You’re probably wondering why it has taken us three weeks to finally include Kelly Oxford (author of the so-fucking-funny-this-counts-as-absercise compendium of short essays titled, Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar,) as a founding member of our new series, Funny Ladies Who Tweet.

Put simply, the highly advanced level of comedy and simultaneous evil genius permeating her twitter feed made the process of elimination and road to subsequent illustration incredibly difficult. Proof? A small sampling below:

“Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?”

“TIP: Boring weekly errands are less boring when you put on an eye patch and observe everyone trying to avoid looking at it.”

“You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That’s a ghost finishing sex with you.”

I know, I’m laughing so hard my ass is going to fall off, too. We decided on the above illustrated-by-Charlotte tweet, though, because in spite of its innate sense of humor, it is also kind of true–and therefore something of a Public Service Announcement.

Now, Tampax, if you’re reading, we’d like to politely to tell that we’re through with the misconceptions your beguiling commercials, choc full of beautiful, clear-skinned women, smiling seemingly genuinely, paying no attention to the ovarian massacre of their lower stomachs.

It’s time the young adults of our great country learn about what really brings on a manic, irate drinking problem.

REPLIES
  • Ash

    The yoga one! I’m dying, even my husband laughed!! Dammit, so good.

  • Amatoria Clothing

    BEST ILLUSTRATION EVER!!!! <3

  • Amatoria Clothing

    Also… I think MYDOL’s motto should go more like…. Mydol: for those days when you think your ovaries might be trying to kill you.
    Sign me up!

  • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

    Love that cartoon.

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

  • royal wang

    good idea of post

    this is an awesome website :http://www.fashionculturediary.blogspot.it/

  • andrea

    now i`m following Kelly

  • Kelly Oxford

    Leandra, I love making you laugh. xo

  • Luciana Safdie

    This is pure gold. The illustration is brilliant!

  • Melissa

    Have you ever seen _corture tweets ? Similar humor to Kelly . I’m an avid follower.

  • Stylish Housewife

    ha ha…i’ve followed her for years. well, on twitter i mean. those are tame compared to her usual tweets.

    http://www.thestylishhousewife.com

  • Aubrey Green

    My dad says that PMS stands for; Possible Murder Suspect.

  • Lisa Thomson

    Love these tweets. She’s a Canadian girl, too :)

  • Laura

    Haha thanks for introducing this. Heading over to twitter to follow right now!

    http://www.bloggingfrombucks.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Mildred Lee
  • http://jessjoycej.wordpress.com/ Jessica Joyce

    Kelly Oxford may even be the Queen of Twitter.

    Your Friend, Jess

  • FKXOXO

    lol

  • ines

    tampax should listen to this girl, sh’e right… I am so fed up with washing powder commercials with women who seem to realise a dream when they ‘re doing the washing … “oh yes, it is the laungry day, i am so happy , this is really better than s-x!”…No cleaning is not a pleasure, but a duty… Stop lying to us…

  • Kathleen Harper

    Haha so true and accurate! Love it!
    <3
    katsfashionfix.blogspot.com

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    LOL I can’t stop laughing. What a wicked sense of humor. :)

    https://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/

  • http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/ Mafalda

    Don’t you do cartwheels on the beach with a beaming smile when you’re on your periods? I do! Best time of the month!

    Mafalda ❤
    http://www.mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr

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