Red Nails, Can’t Fail?
Does Celine’s most recent Daria Werbowy-infiltrated ad mean that my short, bare nails have to get it together?
It’s not really the beginning of a new season until Juergen Teller’s ads for Celine have impregnated the September issues. As far as I call tell, these particular ads are fantastic conversation starters. Was it not last season that I questioned how far topless-in-the-bathtub chic could take us while mobile? Or at the very least, how I could learn to skin a stuffed animal, use its fur as Birkenstock lining et voila: look just like Daria? This season, though, I’m not as concerned with lugging heavy ceramic cleansing machinery nor am I with the breadth of oh-my-God-you-have-to-be-kidding-wait-you’re-not-kidding? footwear Philo continues to institute to challenge the format.
I am perfectly on board with those slick top knots. I am near certain that during our first case of physical contact, I will consider selling organs to pay for the graphic plaid, soft shouldered jackets pictured, and if you happen to be wondering about my stance on turtlenecks, I will just say this: chokers are the summer’s answer to them and you know how I feel about choking myself.
What’s really taking me a long time to digest are those Nine Inch red Nails (fine, I’m being dramatic but they are pretty damn long) festooning Werbowy’s fingers in an inconspicuous nod to The Nanny’s Fran Drescher or worse: Friends‘ Chandler’s conniving ex-girlfriend, Janis.
Oh. My. Gowd.
But what does this mean? Had you told me just a year ago that when Daria cut her hair it would only be a month before I tried to approximate the very same haircut, I probably would have rolled my eyes at you. Just two months ago, when she appeared in Vogue Spain wearing a frosted lip, I felt confounded. This isn’t 2001. I’m not ready for that genre of nostalgia and yet, there I was, moseying through Sephora, soliciting the trained help of the experts at Into the Gloss, trying my hand at what I can only assume are Werbowy-approved lips.
Is the nail care aisle next?
I want to say I think I feel adamant about maintaining my bare nails. In spite of my propensity for kale nails and rainbow stripes, and black and white geometric shapes, I’ve even forfeited pedicures in favor of single-tone feet. But I know myself, and if Philo and Werbowy are telling me I’ve got to get my ass to Duane Reade where I will find a plethora stick-on nails then I’ll probably do it. I’m not strong enough to resist the French influence. And if right now that means Janis red, then so be it.
But what happens six months down the line, when we’re all struggling to type on our touch screens and hold our cups of coffee, using our nails as toothpicks and forks, et cetera, et cetera. We’re not going to get sick of the trend – that’s not what happens – we’re going to want to dig deeper. So does that mean we’ll take more aggressively to nail art, as well?
With that in mind, we took to Sally Hansen’s I Heart Nail Art gallery to gauge our response. At the tail end of a search for their new Nail Art Sweatheart (full disclosure: I was at the finale and all the artists are unbelievably talented), they’ve garnered quite quite the repository of intriguing looks. The result: we fell down the rabbit hole. Again. Anytime someone brings that level of creativity to something potentially as mundane as excess keratin, it’s inspiring. Over the past few years donning a unique nail has been more a matter of playful style, and we can’t help but wonder if this trend is creeping into the fashion world. On the brink of FW, will any houses feature more than a simple bare or single-tone nail? We kind of hope so.
And as always, we absolutely HAVE TO KNOW: Do you like Daria’s nails or do they freak you out? Will you try the new length this fall, focus on color, or go for the full red shebang?