I finally bit the bullet and satiated a craving that has been unwittingly manifesting since a month before I wrote this bizarre ode to a pair of shoes. Yes, I am talking about the Gucci loafers I’d admittedly rejected for years but have somehow grown to curiously admire, which transpired to portend desire, and here I am.
Now I’m on a mission to do one of two things–if I can do both, I will treat myself to an infant-sized crown to wear at the tip of my head because it recently occurred to me that I really, really want to be Blue Ivy Carter. But I digress.
First, I want to make the shoes in question look “cool.” As they stand now, I look down and feel not unlike I am Nantucket bound to meet my angelic realtor of a husband, who has a sailboat, who may or may not catch lobster for me on said sailboat. While we might take out our seafood bibs to nosh on the chewable fuel in open waters, I would take off my shoes to savor their suede glow. “Nice pedicure,” the realtor might tell me. It would be very creepy.
Don’t get me wrong, though–I’m not judging. That life seems beautiful. It just isn’t my life.
Which is where #2 comes in. In trying to make the shoes look cool (which bombastically infers that I am cool), here I propose three different outfits that may seamlessly integrate the shoes into my mode of lifestyle without having to compromise my distaste for lobster, propensity toward denim, leather, the combination of both, and the mere fact that I have never been to Nantucket.
Outfit #1 combines a pair of leather leggings from Topshop with a Blk Denim leather jacket and one white Club Monaco tank top I’ve worn to sleep, exercise, and dine – sometimes all in the same 24 hours – with the somewhat signature Dannijo bracelets of my “look” and, duh, the loafers. It’s not really me, though, until I fall into a squat and begin practicing my kegels.
Ah, that’s better.
Outfit #2 approaches the challenge from a different point of view, instead pairing some of the “classic” pieces emblematic of who I am not but want to be with a mens white blouse from Land’s End and Chloe trousers. The orange lip care of Giorgio Armani’s lip maestro and tribal, gold Pamela Love choker probably speak more accurately to the disconnect.
And finally, in outfit #3, it likely isn’t a Man Repeller post without at least two layers of denim at this point, yes? Here is precisely what I was wearing last week on the day I bought the shoes. It includes ripped Levi’s denim shorts, a Shipley and Halmos dark denim shirt, an Isabel Marant tank top and a selection of jewelry from a combination of: Khai Khai, Eddie Borgo (Forrest Gump ring) and Jennifer Fisher (spine cuff). The outfit that one wears while conceding to purchase an item she thinks she loves is probably more important than we give it credit for. Would I have bought the shoes had I not been wearing denim cut-offs and a bohemian stylet blouse indicative of absolutely nothing the shoes are? I’m not quite sure.
To be fair, though, I’m glad I have them. I think we will be really happy together.