Say what you will about denim cut-offs. They’re not flattering, utterly un-chic, a terrible testament to style in America, and in direct relation to myself, they sure do accentuate my FUPA in what is perhaps the most grotesque display of soft fat unconventionally deposited in a region that is neither vagina nor stomach. As far as I am concerned, though, I am not now, nor will I in the near future be over “it.”
And you may think we have to call it quits fairly soon – after all, the jort is historically an emblem of hot summer days – but not so fast, eh? I plan with conviction to take my selection of denim cut-offs into the fall with me. Starting right now with a look at what I want to call a September-appropriate, week-long outfitting routine.
Using five different pair of shorts, I’ve put together five separate looks that, sure, won’t keep you warm, per se, but contrary to the eery associations Labor Day Weekend brings on, we’ve still got a healthy 20 days under our summer-infused belt. Margheritas for everyone! Horchata for no one.
As for the outfits, a little sausage making:
Outfit #1 includes a pair of slim Rebecca Minkoff shorts that tend to pair really well with oversize, tent-like blouses which, of course, look even better when cloaked in – you guessed it! – more denim. Sticking to theme of this post, I make sure to wear ruby red slippers so in the event it becomes unseasonably cold too soon, I can just tap them together and remind the universe that there’s no place like home. When it’s warm. (Shipley and Halmos denim shirt, Sacai blouse, Valentino shoes.)
Outfit #2 features a pair of looser fit, high waist cut offs of the J Brand variety, paired with a red football style long sleeve tee from Isabel Marant’s S/S 2012 collection. In layering a slightly regal red blazer (you may recognize it from this here book jacket) over the red top and including a pair of satin and suede pink heels that look like a double decker bus teaching the art of hula to its tourists, I think I’ve been able to make the shorts slightly more fancy. You be the judge, eh? (Acne blazer, Giambattista Valli heels which were a cool $120 Yoox score last spring).
In outfit #3, I think I do a better job thinking a head while pairing a knit sweater from American Apparel with another pair of longer, ripped, cuffed J Brand cut offs and a collar that creates the illusion of an under blouse by Anne Fontaine. The jury is still out on whether I should actually wear these white Isabel Marant booties with the outfit–something tells me the loafers in outfit #4 might fare better.
Which, of course, brings us to it. Here’s my I-wish-I-were-Alexa-Chung inspired iteration, using lighter wash but still high waist denim cut offs by Levi’s with a white blouse featurning a plaid collar by Preen, a – the – leather jacket by Blk Denim and the velvet loafers that have afforded me the opportunity to knight myself a Salty Pimp. (Big Gay Ice Cream Shop, anyone?)
And finally, because often denim cut-offs are ridiculed and renamed denim underwear, I thought why not actually use them as underwear? In this look, I’ve paired my shortest shorts (also Levi’s) with a white Simone Rocha dress and Brian Atwood heels. The clutch is not necessary though when an opportunity to boast a frivolous mustache presents itself, why not seize the moment? Essentially, I was like, car-paaaaay diem!