Still feeling blah? Don’t worry, you can tell me. I will take no offense. Not everyone seeks inspirational solace in a strikingly male-looking female face and some blue stripes cloaked by metallic plaid. It’s just that in the spirit of this 75-degree, sunny Wednesday and the fact that life is too short to feel like shit, there is absolutely no reason to continue harboring emotional hostility. To assuage the blues, here is an edited selection of the precise genres of items that host the dexterity to put a big ass smile back on your face and get that Taylor Swift track spinning again in your heart.
Starting with what is arguably the easiest blah-proof garment of them all: your favorite pair of jeans. The ones photographed are D-Squared but that obviously doesn’t mean that yours are. Mine, for one, are a pair of ripped Paige skyline peg-leg skinnies which I’ve been wearing for two years and have yet to wash. Every time I wear them, I feel like Beyonce, which reminds me to tell you: never underestimate the power of your own opinion.
Next up: a streamlined blazer in – why not, hash-tag-YOLO – yellow. It’s the color of our perception of sunshine, most of the smiley-face emojis and urine. I love urine! This works phenomenally with white jeans and here’s the best part: it also covers your ass should you so wish to conceal it. In addition, it is 60% off at The Outnet and will seamlessly take you into fall if you can get over the fact that pairing it with red pants (which you should, which I will) may render you a parodic version of Ronald McDonald.
Not sold on the yellow? How about this baby care of Ann Demeulemeester? Show me a sad girl wearing fringe and I will somersault into the Hudson River, swim across it and sign a lease on an apartment in New Jersey.
Another great way to beat your blah includes wearing your least practical heels. So what if they’re uncomfortable, you were about to pull your nails off their nail beds this morning! Though I don’t own this morsel of good fortune by Saint Laurent, if I did, I’d nominate them impervious to self-doubt.
If you can’t forfeit comfort, however, boasting an equally impractical minaudière (even though it can barely even carry a pack of gum) just because is the second best option. You may in turn prove to yourself how few things you actually need on a daily basis which, in my opinion, is invaluable.
Still seeking color? Asos has you handled at the cost of $50.
And because, again, this morning you toyed with the idea of jumping into oncoming traffic, right now is probably the perfect opportunity to dig into your cabinet of dry-clean only clothes – yes, the garments you only ever deign to wear on special occasions, – declare your proclivity to fuck da police, and put on the white silk blouse you have never been able to keep clean for over 15 minutes. It’s just a shirt, you know?
We’ve been testing a theory that suggests glitter eschews the necessity for prozac and if that is in fact true, we’re going to go ahead and state with paralleled conviction that sparkly shit like this Tom Binns necklace, or the subsequent Dannijo one can do you just as well as the former. (When we said medicate we didn’t mean literally.)
We need not delve too deep into detail about the mystical power of sunglasses, again. Use at your own discretion and you know what else? Fuck the clouds, the time of day, the circumstance under which you stand. Wear them whenever you feel like it, because you can.
And finally, in the all-encompassing case of your getting dressed: if jeans won’t cut it and a blazer can only play supporting role in your outfit’s film, look into your closet and ask yourself, self, which of these dresses is my favorite? If you pick a plain white – or worse, morose grey – one, we strongly urge you take a step back and try again. Go for the poof. The color. The evocative, exotic cut. And when your boss is all, “what’s up today?” You can be like, “I’m just doing me.”