In considering all the banal products I suggest you buy based on the pretense that they’re investment pieces, I realized I’ve been doing you something of a disfavor. On the one hand, since when am I supposed to be endorsing white t-shirts and grey turtlenecks, right? That shit is a given. Don’t have them? Buy them. You don’t need me to tell you that. Additionally, pairing blazers with ripped jeans is probably another style cue that doesn’t beg my reiteration.
Recently, I have found that wearing the pictured red and white striped shorts, aptly equipped with leg-elongating ruffle trim in a whole deluge of different ways is far easier than one might think. I might even go so far as to say it’s easier than modifying the cookie-cutter nature of any of the aforementioned products which is why today we bring you: The Ambiguous Investment Piece. (Maybe you remember the last one?)
The piece in question is a pair of Three Floor shorts from the spring/summer season and while I can’t exactly find the precise pictured pair, you can try your luck with the same print, different silhouettes or the same silhouette, different prints here and here.
Some sausage making to describe the rudimentary ideology rooted in each of these looks:
Look 1 is what I call The Way America Would Want Me to Wear These Shorts. It, of course, includes Dannijo’s ubiqutious Americana collar and a navy blue, lightweight Tibi jacket that essentially says, “hey! It’s okay to want to cover your arms in 100 degree weather. We can and will facilitate that.” Red and white striped shoes to either counter or compliment the shorts seemed like the only viable option. Now watch me whip my legs back and forth:
Look 2 is what I call Commitment to The Red Cross for no reason other than my pairing two separate red and white prints (one of which actually contains crosses but only if you have an inventive, imagination-driven eye that appreciates the nuanced difference between gingham and a cross). The shirt in this look is from Uniqlo and the shoes–which feature a splash of red but mostly contain every other color under the most tropical of suns are from Caroline Issa’s collab-o-lab with L.K. Bennett.
Look 3 says, I’m so cool (literally) that you can take me into fall with you. Which is precisely what I’m putting forward in this look, which includes the Blk Denim leather jacket I can’t seem to shut up about, a Vanessa Bruno grey cashmere sweater and Chrissie Morris booties from last season but scored highly on sale just a few weeks ago care of London (r)e-tailer, Matches.
Look 4 is the for the ladies in this chatroom. While I’m not quite sure I have the wearwithal (see what I did there?) to forfeit a little dose of boyishness, I am certain some of you do. And if you don’t? Frankly, you can’t take the freak out of the girl.
And finally, where shit gets weirdest appears as “Look 5” which is also what I’ll call: a really good way to get yourself committed. That sentiment only rings true if this look does for you what it did for me, which is bring out my hips and force them to do really, really questionable things.
See what I mean? Should you find yourself in a print mixing contest I am almost positive you will be rendered incapable of losing by pairing a selection of the above, if not because you’re using six prints (rainbow choker counts, damnit) on but two layers of clothes, than certainly because you’ve established support for endangered species (see: the Au Jour le Jour panda blouse – yes, that is a sequined collar), the ability and drive to preserve said endangered species (see: Acne’s money money money money…moh-nay! blazer) and the little baby fish on these Tabitha Simmons bailey sandals, which say: look, I’m going to stop eating you because I know it’s the right thing to do.