Smarty Shorts

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by Leandra Medine
July 22, 2013
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Here are just a couple reasons why investing in red and white striped shorts is a really smart idea.

In considering all the banal products I suggest you buy based on the pretense that they’re investment pieces, I realized I’ve been doing you something of a disfavor. On the one hand, since when am I supposed to be endorsing white t-shirts and grey turtlenecks, right? That shit is a given. Don’t have them? Buy them. You don’t need me to tell you that. Additionally, pairing blazers with ripped jeans is probably another style cue that doesn’t beg my reiteration.

Recently, I have found that wearing the pictured red and white striped shorts, aptly equipped with leg-elongating ruffle trim in a whole deluge of different ways is far easier than one might think. I might even go so far as to say it’s easier than modifying the cookie-cutter nature of any of the aforementioned products which is why today we bring you: The Ambiguous Investment Piece. (Maybe you remember the last one?)

The piece in question is a pair of Three Floor shorts from the spring/summer season and while I can’t exactly find the precise pictured pair, you can try your luck with the same print, different silhouettes or the same silhouette, different prints here and here.

Some sausage making to describe the rudimentary ideology rooted in each of these looks:

Look 1 is what I call The Way America Would Want Me to Wear These Shorts. It, of course, includes Dannijo’s ubiqutious Americana collar and a navy blue, lightweight Tibi jacket that essentially says, “hey! It’s okay to want to cover your arms in 100 degree weather. We can and will facilitate that.” Red and white striped shoes to either counter or compliment the shorts seemed like the only viable option. Now watch me whip my legs back and forth:

lX0Mk3 on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

Look 2 is what I call Commitment to The Red Cross for no reason other than my pairing two separate red and white prints (one of which actually contains crosses but only if you have an inventive, imagination-driven eye that appreciates the nuanced difference between gingham and a cross). The shirt in this look is from Uniqlo and the shoes–which feature a splash of red but mostly contain every other color under the most tropical of suns are from Caroline Issa’s collab-o-lab with L.K. Bennett.

Look 3 says, I’m so cool (literally) that you can take me into fall with you. Which is precisely what I’m putting forward in this look, which includes the Blk Denim leather jacket I can’t seem to shut up about, a Vanessa Bruno grey cashmere sweater and Chrissie Morris booties from last season but scored highly on sale just a few weeks ago care of London (r)e-tailer, Matches.

Look 4 is the for the ladies in this chatroom. While I’m not quite sure I have the wearwithal (see what I did there?) to forfeit a little dose of boyishness, I am certain some of you do. And if you don’t? Frankly, you can’t take the freak out of the girl.

tMmqEJ on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

Sorry, you just can’t. The albino vagina is actually a t-shirt by Chloe and the sandals are Givenchy. Lest I forget the kiss of Pamela Love, which appears as a gold choker.

And finally, where shit gets weirdest appears as “Look 5″ which is also what I’ll call: a really good way to get yourself committed. That sentiment only rings true if this look does for you what it did for me, which is bring out my hips and force them to do really, really questionable things.

QnqDeE on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

See what I mean? Should you find yourself in a print mixing contest I am almost positive you will be rendered incapable of losing by pairing a selection of the above, if not because you’re using six prints (rainbow choker counts, damnit) on but two layers of clothes, than certainly because you’ve established support for endangered species (see: the Au Jour le Jour panda blouse – yes, that is a sequined collar), the ability and drive to preserve said endangered species (see: Acne’s money money money money…moh-nay! blazer) and the little baby fish on these Tabitha Simmons bailey sandals, which say: look, I’m going to stop eating you because I know it’s the right thing to do.

End scene.

REPLIES
  • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

    Love your moves and the shorts!

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

  • http://pinksole.com/ Rachelle

    You are so silly lol, love these shorts.

    xo
    http://pinksole.com

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    You’re an absolute Ginger Fireball. The shorts are amazing, and look great every which way. And sometimes it’s fun to be a girl, making the albino vagina look a very viable option. Can’t wait to see these shorts with your soon-to-come Celine wedges….is that, too, a viable option?

  • http://www.malindaknowles.net/ Malinda Frances Knowles

    lmao this GIFs are hilarious! great post
    http://www.malindaknowles.net

  • details by enda

    like your energy!
    short is amazing love it!!

    xoxo,
    http://detailsbyenda.blogspot.com/

  • Natali

    Outfits 1 and 3 are absolutely amazing!

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

  • CarolinaG

    I loved it!!!!!!!

    I’m posting looks from Los Angeles and accessories:

    http://www.thegavlaks.com

  • Paco T.
  • Michèle

    hahahah seriously, I can’t stop laughing in the office right now after looking at these gifs, especially the last one. all people around me are looking at me, thinking I’m going crazy or something. haha :’D you’re the best

    http://www.thefashionfraction.com

    http://www.thefashionfraction.com

  • ThisTrendThatTrend

    Maya Jankelowitz (owner of Jack’s Wife Freda, which I am sure you know..) was wearing these shorts a week ago when I was at brunch there and I got a kick out of these circus-chic shorts. They look great on both of you! Now my question is… who copied who?

    -Anna (This Trend That Trend)

  • Stylish Housewife

    ok…i am dying. love all of your “super cool” dance moves. and i MUST MUST MUST have those shorts! suddenly i have that ol’ song “we must, we must, we must increase our bust” stuck in my head. did your generation still say that chant? lol

    http://www.thestylishhousewife.com

    • Leandra Medine

      Obviously. Judy Blume is as much mine as she is yours!

  • Sarah Jay

    hilarious moves! Go (Go) Girl! ;)

  • Nico

    I’m def in love with the first look!

    New outfit post-> http://lowbudget-lowcost.blogspot.it/2013/07/boyfriend-jeansvarsity-jacketwedges.html

  • http://www.dashofkate.blogspot.com/ Kate Cornick

    Love these gifs – you’re hilarious! Also it’s cool to see how something I wouldn’t think is very versatile be used in three completely different looks. http://www.dashofkate.blogspot.com

  • http://www.simplyonelove.com/ erica jensen

    Loving the Tabitha Simmons heels. You’ve got the best moves in that outfit :)

    simplyonelove.com

  • Jackie

    I want those shorts and the gifs are super fun, but… I’m sorry it’s impossible to read the text, seeing these gifs just makes my head and stomach turn, makes me sick :( … I wonder what is written there…

    • Leandra Medine

      Force yourself! You can do it! You won’t be sorry!@#$%^&

  • Marsha Nikooforsat

    Is this possibly the best blog ever??? Me thinks so:):)

  • http://www.prizmah.blogspot.com/ Prizmah Fashion Blog
  • Sartorial Revenge

    I’ve been a fan of the brand for quite some time and these shorts show why. Great post!
    By the way, you can find precisely this pair of shorts on the Three Floor website: http://threefloorfashion.com/index.php?page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage_6A.tpl&product_id=1183&category_id=2&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=4

    http://www.sartorial-revenge.com

  • Katerina

    I must say, I’m really diggin’ look #2. Something about the 2 separate red prints together makes me want to pull off some dance moves as well. As much as you influence fashion choices, you definely make want to practice new dance moves before I make-way to the clubs

    fashionrealist.com

  • monkeyshines

    fabulous styling!

    monkeyshines
    http://monkeyshines-monkeyshines.blogspot.com/

  • Dayle Pereira

    You’re always so candid and fun! I love it :)

  • RCH

    Don’t care the shorts, but your most beautiful legs!!!

  • sol

    hahaha i love u!!

  • laisreschke

    laughing out loud of your gifs HAHAHHAHAHAHA .. and your style! Absolutely amazing! I loved everything!

  • Alexandar

    obsessed with the stripes
    http://www.caseable.com

  • Donald

    You are hilarious! I love your shorts and how you styled them.

    Donald
    http://www.trescharmantxo.com
    http://www.shopcharmant.com

  • http://eileentheooer.blogspot.com/ Eileen

    So many LM GIFs!!! My life is complete. I especially love your endangered species seductions in that last one.

  • http://fashiondawgs.com/ Fashion Dawgs

    The dancing is the best. Better than all the outfits put together..

  • http://www.looksharpsconnie.com/ Look Sharp Sconnie

    there is nothing more hypnotic than those ruffles in that last dance
    these shorts obviously need some serious air to reach their full potential

  • Romina C

    Your leg and styling (thumbs up), always the best. And you always make me laugh with the funny faces! Romi

    http://www.blaastyle.com

  • maud.schellekens

    Love it, gorgeous! Really had to laugh due your pictures :-P

    XOXO Maud

    NEW BLOGPOST ONLINE FROM MYKONOS:
    http://thirteentalesoffashion.blogspot.nl/2013/07/my-week-in-mykonos-part-2.html

  • http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/ Mafalda

    God, you just make me laugh outloud with your silly moves, you’re one of a kind.
    Anyway, love these shorts with the leather jacket!

    Mafalda ❤

    http://mafaldadotzero.blogspot.fr/

  • Jennifer

    You’re the best dancer ever :p

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

  • http://www.farandwildjewelry.com/ abigail lind

    i feel like a real ass for never thinking to use panda print as a neutral. and you too must use satchel paige brand tampons à la liz lemon because you are killing it at dancing like nobody’s watching.

    abigail
    http://www.farandwildjewelry.com

  • Katherine

    Leandra, would you mind sharing the size of your ridiculously amazing skort? I saw the girl from Jackswifefreda wearing them and I love them but if I’m ordering from the UK site I want some sizing help!!!!!!!!!

    • Leandra Medine

      Hey friend! This is a UK 8.

      • Katherine

        Thank you!

  • http://fashionclosetlover.blogspot.com/ Aisling

    These shorts are divine!

  • Marin

    HAHAHA no way. I’m only wondering if you’d even wear the first outfit in public on any of the OTHER 364 days of the year? Also, on the unlikely investment piece: items like these shorts can either become ubiquitous, as you seem to have made them, or they can languish away unworn in the back of the closet. Risky pieces that I buy usually tend to do the latter… I admire your pluck.

    Your blog is riotous, by the way. Love it <3

  • http://www.creativityandchocolate.com/ Eva

    All amazing combination and love the moves ;) xx

    http://www.creativityandchocolate.com

  • http://girlandthegeek.blogspot.com/ Jennifer

    Your legs are rockin! How do you do it?

  • Ellynn Piekarski

    1 reason could be enough : this skirt is gorgeous ! You had to buy it !!!

    http://www.the-heels.com

  • Zamora

    THESE SHORTS ARE COOL!

    http://www.sequoiapier.blogspot.com

  • Jenny

    You are absolutely hilarious and a fantastic writer! You’re like the young, witty blogging version of Lorelai Gilmore.

    http://www.charmedchaos.com

  • Katie

    Those shorts remind me of these (which I am dying to get!) I love the ruffles and they do seem sophisticated somewhat: http://www.matchesfashion.com/product/150332 (by JW Anderson). I used to wear these vintage green ruffle shorts (I think they were underpinnings) for summer but they didn’t go with much and a got plenty of looks! I’m not sure they actually worked on my 5′ 3″ figure!

  • carly tati

    you are so hilarious. at least your having fun. love your moves.
    cheers
    carly
    http://www.carlytati.com

  • Soraia Balelo

    Love your scent for colours and patterns.
    P.S.: You have great legs! Damn!

  • Lauren

    POST SUGGESTION~ Can you please do a post on your signature dance moves and accompany them with .gifs?

  • Marissa Joy

    Love all of these looks! Clearly, those shorts are very versatile!

    stylebymj.blogspot.com

  • Celeste Yeung

    Oh boy Leandra, those pins of yours are definitely don’t warrant the ‘man repeller’ label.

  • the civilian

    Always entertaining posts and impeccable silhouettes!

    http://thecivilianlife.com/

  • jas

    i think the last look is my favourite. loving those boots as well.

    reckless abandon blog

  • Elizabeth Beskow

    Dang those shorts! Never would have thought it but they look great!

  • rhodawong

    these are some intense shorts!

    http://www.styleandshades.blogspot.com

  • Veronica Villalpando

    you had me at albino vagina.

  • Oliver Lips

    Hahahaha love the gif’s + look no. 3 & 5!

    http://www.lips2lagerfeld.com
    http://www.lips2lagerfeld.com

  • http://lavie-amonavis.blogspot.com Melissa Bennett

    Those shorts are kind of amazing and that last GIF has to be best think I have ever seen EVER

    http://lavie-amonavis.blogspot.com

  • Lucinda

    That blk denim leather jacket… I would exchange my firstborn (okay, maybe my second-born since the first is needed to carry on the name and look after me when I’m old and uncontrollably drooling, but I digress) for that piece of hipster perfection.

    And thank goodness your future book is comprised of still images, that’s all imma say!

    http://grantedblog.blogspot.com.au

  • Georgia

    Lovely shorts! Love your GIFs, so funny :)

    http://www.cleaning-sutton.com/domestic-cleaning.html

  • Paula McClelland

    I feel a little dizzy but efficiently schooled – thanks Mrs Repeller #Schoolroomchant

  • natalie

    the coolest shorts ever! i think so

    xx

    http://anoddgirl.blogspot.com.au

  • Hiphunters

    hahaha great post! love the shorts!

    https://www.hiphunters.com/

  • Katell Malleena

    Great photos , you make me feel much happy :*

    http://www.gloria-agostina.com

    http://www.facebook.com/GloriaAgostina

  • Jaipur Handloom

    I love this article very much.Please visit us to take a look into my collection of highly fashionable, designable and up to date handmade items furnished by great artisan from India such as cushion cover, women bags, quilts, home decorative wall hangings and
    many others.

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/JaipurHandloom

  • Chic Trends

    Whoa there! Never knew you had such sexy dance moves. One can only hope to buy these smarty shorts and instantly feel the sexy groove come upon the thighs! I hope…

    http://chictrends.co.uk/

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    LOLOL thanks for sharing your dance moves. :D

    https://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/

  • Justina Elumeze

    You’re funny.
    How do you get your legs so toned, you hot thing?

    • Leandra Medine

      I didn’t–that’s the magic of the shorts

      • Justina Elumeze

        Shut up…! Then I’m getting me a pair (or two) right now!

  • tali

    believe or not I like the third option
    http://www.unzippedfashionblog.com

  • http://www.bretelle.com.au/ BRETELLE

    hilarious! adorable! gorgeous! only you could pull this dance off!

  • Nina

    hahahahahahahahaha !!!! ;) made my day
    xxx

    http://www.envoguecoop.com

  • http://stylecurrent.blogspot.com Ashley Alan

    You are the Carrie Bradshaw of this generation. And a genius.

  • lareina

    Best legs in the bizness, Leandra. Great shorts too. xox

  • dee

    ure a genius!

  • Yu Yu

    What more could one reader could ask for with your unique styling and amazingly funny moves xx

  • Loula

    Ha Ha Ha you are so hilarious!!!

  • gilette

    LOVE!!!! Just found this blog and it is love at first sight! thank you for a great laught!

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