Because you are not Patrick Star, and it is therefore unlikely that you live under a rock, you probably already know that Kate Middleton is currently in the early stages of labor (at a hospital which, by the way, bears a striking semblance to Madonna’s Lexington Avenue townhouse). While North West and the geographic coordinates’ parents, Kimye, may be doomed to watch a new baby take over the throne (no, but literally) of exhaustive press, we’re thrilled for a number of reasons. Not the least of which being the relinquishment of press releases titled, “Get Kate Middleton’s Baby Bump Look!” That alone is almost as exciting as the peewee sized bundle of royalty that will imminently emerge from Middleton, itself. (I can see the tabloid headlines already: “Royal babies! They’re just like us! They sprout out of their mothers!”)
Speaking of actually having the child, from what I understand–or have since gleaned from some seasoned experts, including my own mother–having children can change people. The lax become manic. The active become lazy. The forgetful begin to boast elephant memories. But what about fashion? Does baby birth have an affect on one’s sartorial style cues? While we can’t be quite sure (none of us are with – or even close to being with – child), we really, really want to assume that yes: babies are born and their mother’s style completely changes.
We’ve been silently vetting for something of a post-partum Middleton makeover for a while now. Knowing that she has an image of regality to maintain and that – okay – Balmain spikes might not be in the wheelhouse chosen for her, we have to wonder: what’s so wrong with a pair of leather trousers, or a beige, boxy blazer?
In honor of her contractions and the seedless dream that she might just wake up with a deep personal knowledge that her fashion spirit animal is, in fact, Rihanna, please enjoy this slideshow (which starts with three images of Middleton being beautiful but basic), choc full of reasons that Photoshop is arguably the best thing that’s ever happened to computer software, the internet and on the most marginal level: us.
Now try – just try – to guess whose faces we supplemented with hers. We promise to reveal the answers as you begin playing. Frankly, we think this is a great way to pass time while we wait to meet the little dude.
Update: it’s a boy! But just because he’s out and the bump is no more does not mean that this game has to end. Keep on guessing, folks.