The Burlap Suit
Because let’s be real–would she really look good in a burlap suit?
I often think about dressing really attractive women in burlap bags (this is not to be confused with killing them, I can promise you that) and asking the question no one postulates when considering the age old aphorism, (implemented I am sure by one Jewish mother at some point in time, speaking of her son’s potential suitor,) “she’s so beautiful, she’d look good in a burlap suit!”
Would she really, though? I’m not necessarily saying I disagree but I am saying I’m not quite sold. So in the spirit of burlesque investigative journalism, I began a quest to find a burlap bag and a beautiful woman while I strategized the process that would allow me to sack said woman using the burlap bag and photograph the process without getting sued. Or arrested.
Somewhere along the way, though, I was interrupted.
During a regular day’s internet perusal (one that, I’ll admit, included Amazon research on cost-effective potato-lugging attache), I caught wind of an English fashion brand titled Charlie May making shorts, jackets, dresses and so forth using, as fate would have it, the fabric of choice. Naturally, I pounced.
While the idea of testing the previous hypothesis was still–is still–probably a good one, I knew for certain I couldn’t test it on myself. My legs do not look like those of the Anja Rubik variety and my jaw structure is laughable when considering someone like that of, say, Hilary Rhoda’s. But because I am a flaming narcissist (it’s not my fault–just ask Time magazine–this is wholly a function of subsisting in New York, in 2013, as a millennial) and wanted to include myself in this study in at least some diminutive capacity, I elected the above suit to function as the vessel that would permit that. And while sure, it’s not a sack, per se, I had to start somewhere. Right?
Now, because it’s Thursday past 4 o’clock, there is only one thing left to do and that is:
Whip our hair back and forth. Like the last time, this gif is only as good as the music video below it so exercise your computer’s most adept multi-tasking skills and enjoy.