…Or: another riveting round of Things That Are Expensive, But Not As Expensive As They Were Before.
I know we talked about The Black Hole briefly last week but that was only in favor of maintaining self control and not succumbing to the deluge of inventory available on the heels of this season’s summer sale. We’re way passed that now, though, and wholly ready to forfeit fiscal freedom at the behest of dropped peplums that may render completely dated next season but seem entirely vital and appropriate right now. It would have been a strange brand of cruel, after all, to deny ourselves the right to yellow satin embellished mules, impractical under any circumstance but necessary under all, now wouldn’t it?
Sale shopping is difficult in that while one may find herself blinded by the label under full price circumstances, under sale circumstances, she’s likely far more inclined to find herself blinded by the price tag, which, as far as I’m concerned, is a more detrimental disease to plague your shopping. Do I really, I mean really, “need” that purple printed patent leather, cotton lined, ankle length trench coat, seasonably appropriate for the precse one day a year of spring? Probably not. This is precisely why in combing through the Internet’s highbrow bargain bin equivalent, we settled on several of the more basic, wearable, hard-to-get-sick-of pieces to share.
While we offer no blouses to pair with your new shorts, or new skirt, or to place underneath that navy blue satin Acne blazer which is now under $200, we’re hopeful that you’ve already picked up on the two inconspicuous memos we’re trying to relay and have either a. purchased your own Lands’ End blouse or (please let it be this one) b. sided in favor of the abolition of shirts, period. There is a bra in here,and I’d be hard pressed to tell you not to wear it out as a udder-bearing shirt. If and when anyone should ask why you’re wearing your nipples out, you can just say something like, “I’m being ironic.”
Patent leather Kenzo loafers, (perfect for walking shorts that will inevitably make you, too, look like an off duty gym teacher), $203 at Net-a-Porter
Charlotte Olympia Domino clutch, $494.57 at The Outnet (it is 59% off, not to be confused with a more traditional 60.)
Embellished satin mules by Oscar de la Renta, $328 at The Outnet
Esteban Cortazar satin and twill peek-a-boo shorts (flash everyone, show nothing), $262 at Net-a-Porter
Printed skirt by Peter Pilotto, $754 (which, I understand is still very expensive but if you wear this skirt with white sneakers, which you should, or with satin mules, which you should, I can almost argue it’s as worthwhile an investment as say, a good white shirt) at Net-a-Porter
Elle Macpherson’s So Pretty It Hurts (I swear that’s what it’s called) soft cup bra, $47 at Net-a-Porter
Acne Studios shiny-ass awesome navy blue blazer, $195 at La Garconne
8 Other Reasons “Showtime” Necklace, (see, this is also a fantastic alternative to bras, period) $70 on Shopbop
Mykita cut-away sunglasses, $350 (sorry) at Opening Ceremony
Thakoon Addition vested dress, $343 on Shopbop
Well? Well? Well? WELL? Tell me something. Anything.