Because It’s Hot
And maybe you don’t know what to wear.
Dressing for extreme heat is tricky–especially if you identify yourself among fashion’s “initiated.” Which, you know, would effectively grant you the ability to almost completely eschew the prospect of plain, old, simple tops (tanks) and shorts (little ones)–nose up and all–in favor of some resplendence. Frankly, when I think heat and the way in which it should be addressed, I get slightly uncomfortable with where my mind takes me–see: 1993, where ribbed tank tops of either the Hanes or Sugar Lips variety reign alongside low-cut, short shorts that could have been pants in another, more elongated life but function more prevalently as ass hugging sex catalysts in their current iteration.
It’s gross, really.
And this is where the antidote comes in. When it’s too hot for layers, and dressing “practically” just won’t cut it–a combination of prints will be the coffee to your morning, the Benadryl to your bee-string, the Imodium to your diarrhea.
In today’s edition of Maybe You Don’t Know What to Wear, I suggest pairing two different prints, set on the same color (in this instance, white) and a pair of your favorite sneakers/weirdest sandals. I am particularly keen on these Ancient Greek Sandals x Marios Schwab critters because a. they look like critters (albino cockroaches to be exact), b. they look like hula skirts, c. they look like mini tiki shops and d. they look like albino cockroaches wearing hula skirts inside mini tiki shops.
The t-shirt (by Soulland) is lightweight, awesome and made for men but probably more often worn by women because Babar and his big boy toys are stationed all over it and if there’s one thing that makes a woman’s loins feel steamy, it has got to be a French elephant who boasts a red convertible sports car. The skirt is 3.1 Phillip Lim and slide #4 is foreshadowing a new band I am starting called Smiley Cyrus. We’re interpretative musicians who don’t actually perform–just smile and sometimes send nude selfies. So, that’s that.
How are you combating this heat?