Haha! Lol! No you’re not. But…it’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, we’re about to have us some fun.
When you wake up and look to your iPhone, hoping for good news or at the very least a sliver of light that may indicate a far fairer forecast for the weekend ahead, do you know what happens when you realize you’re looking at Cupertino and not at New York? You get incessantly excited. You start packing your bags for the weekend–even if you’re not going anywhere–just to feel like Memorial Day Weekend belongs as much to you as it does to anyone else. You think bathing suits and sarongs and panama hats (plural), and if you’re in a really, really good mood, you even think several different pair of sunglasses for the different days you will indulge in heat and sunlight.
And then you know what happens? You come back to your iPhone, look back at the forecast and realize you’re not in start-up nation. Where you really live, the tales of Memorial Day Weekend are far more disconcerting. 55 degrees. Rain. Thunderstorms–that forecast may as well share what it’s really thinking: Hey, asshole, remember when you put your coat in storage last week? Big mistake. Huge.
But I’m not one to gloat in misery, oh no, and thus by osmosis neither are you. Eventually summer has got to come around, right? So we may as well start planning and let this weekend inaugurate summer in a slightly different capacity. Maybe, too, if we convince ourselves the forecasts are wrong and our clothes are right, we can find ourselves sunscreen-laden and daiquiri drinking.
Just kidding, I fucking hate daiquiris. Let’s stick to plan A. Your summer stripes, right this way.
1. Oversize denim jacket, Topshop, $90
2. Linen, striped scarf (you will wear it as a sarong, right?), Lemlem, $140
3. Denim shirt slash dress slash jacket slash perfect to put over a bathingsuit or, you know, your naked body, Maison Martin Margiela, $425
4. Owl intarsia cotton-blend shorts, Etoile Isabel Marant, $290 (and, full disclosure, I am wearing them right now.)
5. With this precise T by Alexander Wang black and white striped linen shirt.
6. Red floral tea dress, Topshop, $85
7. Dolly cricket striped flats (an elegant alternative to Soludos, and a perfect antidote for those of us who don’t particularly love flat sandals), Tabitha Simmons, $395
8. Navy and black panama hat because, why not? Live a little, J. Crew, $58
9. Gold coast shades, Nasty Gal, $40
10. Printed ruffled triangle bikini–and I know what you’re thinking–why now after all the despair I just shared? Because it’s nearly 60% off, people! Zimmermann, $110
11. Embellished sandals–these ones make my heart sing–Tory Burch, $276
Doesn’t that feel great? Talk to me–what do you like? What do you hate? Happy long weekend, folks!