You Go, Glenn Coco

Hey! Guys! Today is Mean Girls' ninth anniversary. What are you doing to celebrate?

Can you recall where you were nine years ago today?

No?

I for one, was standing on a fairly extensive line outside a movie theater tucked into 86th street just off Third Avenue waiting to retrieve a set of three tickets for me and my best friends because a new movie had just come out and there was no fucking way we weren’t seeing it on the date of release. I was not wearing pink and because I am almost certain it was a Wednesday, that enraged me.

Now do you remember?

Here’s a fun fact you may have overlooked in your quest to get through this particularly sluggish-in-spite-of-sunshine-ridden Tuesday: today is the nine year anniversary of the genesis and subsequent public premiere of the most important benchmark re lady etiquette since Clueless. Yes, folks, I’m talking about Mean Girls. And while sure, we haven’t hit the decade mark just yet, we see no reason why reflecting on the sage wisdom that Tina Fey’s characters bequeathed all of us isn’t as pertinent now as it will be next year, and as it has been for the past nine years. Frankly, it seems the limit does not exist.

In honor of the celebration (it’s totally a celebration, right?), here are ten of our favorite quotes from the movie, depicting the most important lessons The Plastics, Janice, Damien, Cady (not to be confused with Katie but pronounced like the latter,) et al taught us about, like, the rules of feminism:

mean-girls-movies-2281463-1600-1200

1. I like invented her, you know what I mean?

2. Ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.

3. I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only important to you right now, but you don’t have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.

4. There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.

5. Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What’s so great about Caesar? Hmm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss everybody, huh? Because that’s not what Rome is about. We should totally just stab Caesar!

6. Don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die.

7. I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there are lots of things that can be wrong on your body.

7a. Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

8. Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like total sluts and no other girls can say anything about it.

8a. Well, I don’t know who wrote this book, but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.

9. I mean, you wouldn’t buy a skirt without first asking your friends if it looks good on you.

10. Like, you might think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

This is, of course, just a rain drop’s worth of the lessons learned from Fey’s prose–which is where you come in. What are some of your favorite Mean Girls moments?

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Thoughts?
  • Rebeca Tannous

    Gretchen (my favourite):

    “If only you knew how mean she really is… You’d know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah! Two years ago she told me hoops earrings were *her* thing and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hannakuh my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them and… it was so sad.”

  • http://twitter.com/mdlnzppl Madeline Zappala

    typo in 8a – “whites” instead of whores
    (lol)

    • Leandra Medine

      Great catch! Thank you.

  • http://couldawouldapica.blogspot.com/ andrea nicole

    sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. you could try sears.

    that is the ugliest effing skirt i’ve ever seen.

    omg, danny devito! i love your work!

    • http://www.fellowthreads.wordpress.com/ Fellow Threads

      YESSS! The Danny DeVito line is the best. “Hey! Get outta here!”

      • Domonique

        Agreed! x

  • Rachel

    “you can’t sit with us!”

  • http://bowsandbeau-ties.blogspot.com/ Aimee

    Lol, “don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die”. Love every single moment of Mean Girls :D
    xoxo Aimee
    bowsandbeau-ties.blogspot.com

  • Laura

    “Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”

    “You Puerto Rican?” “Lebanese.” “I feel that.”

    “That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.”

    “Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.”

    And my all-time favorite: “Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen!”

  • Jubidoo

    SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE

  • Miss Kutsu

    “Grool! … I meant to say cool and I started to say great! ”
    But the n°4 is one of my favourites too!

    http://www.laurablogmode.com

  • Donna

    This is one of my all time favorite movies – which help inspired my blog name!! “So you agree.. you think you’re really pretty?”

    xoDonna
    http://www.soyouagree.com

  • lucila

    On wednesdays we wear pink. A classic.

    xox

  • allie

    on wednesdays we wear pink!

  • http://twitter.com/Helencoakley Helen Coakley

    ‘I don’t think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, will be too happy to hear about this!’

  • http://moiminnie.blogspot.com/ moiminnie

    “Cool bracelet! Where’d you get it?”

    Well, honestly, I could quote the whole movie.

  • Helen

    “Boo, you whore!”
    “I want my pink shirt back!”And my personal faves:
    “That’s why her hair is so big – It’s FULL OF SECRETS”
    “She’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.”.

  • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

    Makes me wanna watch the movie all over again!

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

  • julie

    the line about making fetch happen is the best. i still use it sometimes
    http://www.not-going-out-like-that.com

  • Julie JT

    “And none for Gretchen Weiners.”

    “That’s Damien, he’s almost too gay to function.”

    “It’s been a month and all we’ve done is make her face smell like a foot.”

    “If you’re from Africa why are you so white?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/revtessgoodwin Tess Goodwin

    One time, Regina George punched me in the face. It was awesome.

  • Meaghan

    On Wednesdays…. we wear pink!
    We only wear our hair in a pony tail one day a week…. I guess you picked today….

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.eubanks.984 Jessica Thornton

    Favorite. Movie. Ever.

    • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.eubanks.984 Jessica Thornton

      Also, I just have a lot of feelings.

  • Bella

    Let me give you my card.
    OK, so think it over.
    Because we’d like to get jackets…..

    and.

    When you get bit by a snake,
    you’re supposed to suck
    the poison out.
    That’s what I had to do.
    Suck all the poison out of my life.

  • Astrid

    Reading the quotes I hear the characters’ voices in my head

  • Erin

    “i’m not a regular mom, i’m a cool mom”

  • Rit

    All you sucka MCs ain’t got nothin’ on me! From my grades, to my lines you can’t touch Kevin G! I’m a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I’m like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred – I’m Kevin Gnapoor! The G’s silent when I sneak through your door. And make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don’t play it like Shaggy, you’ll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she’ll be like, OOH! KEVIN G!

  • Hattie Broom

    Oh my god, Karen. You can’t just ask people why they’re white!

  • Jennifer

    And look an poor LiLo now.

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

  • Frances

    “So if you are from Africa, why are you white?”

  • Emily

    I actually found a kitchen apron that said “You Go Glenn Coco” on it. Of course I couldn’t resist that purchase- it’s great for family holidays. Here’s four candies for you!

  • Lindsey R.

    “Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.”

    And some Chicago love, “I did NOT leave the south side for this…”

  • Elsa Van Cleve

    “you smell like a baby prostitute.”

  • nelya

    let’s go to taco bell!

  • Gracie

    There are so many…

    “So if you’re from Africa… why are you white?”
    “I don’t hate you because you’re fat… you’re fat because i hate you”
    “You know what people say about you? That you’re a home school jungle freak who’s a less hot version OF ME”

    Great movie!

  • lessie

    it’s butter a carb?

  • Brittany

    Nice wig Janice, what’s it made out of?
    YOUR MOM’S CHEST HAIR

  • http://www.fancyalterego.wordpress.com/ Heather P.

    I wish I could print this out and hand it to all of my college freshmen students…or copy the movie and give it to all of them. Aside from the usual hair pulling, revenge fantasies, and hope that this meant Lindsey Lohan would have a long and prosperous career, there were some real lessons to be learned about the future of womanhood in that movie. Tina Fey is like the big sister who gives it to us straight whether we want to hear it or not. For that, I really do appreciate her.

    Oh, and 9 years ago today, I was probably graduating from college…or pretty damn close to it. Man…time sure does fly!

  • http://twitter.com/selenaaponte Selena Aponte

    ..don’t look at me.. (singing I am Beautiful)

  • Alice

    “I don’t hate you because you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you”

  • gp

    so relieved that my grandkids won’t have to sit through that wholesome ed sullivan shit.

    family reunions w half virgins and gap-toothed bitches much better

  • http://twitter.com/JenessaCCole Jenna Cole

    I’ve been really busy with choir.

    Still my favorite quote from any movie ever.

  • http://procrastinatingpretty.blogspot.com/ TheProcrastinator

    “I just want to bake a cake out of rainbows and smiles, and everyone would eat and be happy.”

  • http://twitter.com/writersblockz Kacie Marie

    “She doesn’t even go here!” Best line of the whole movie.

  • beatureheartout

    The title of this post – ‘You go Glenn Coco, you go!’ is hilarious!

  • Amanda Perry
  • Meggan Hill

    This has already been listed but it is worth repeating. Is butter a carb?

    • Meggan Hill

      Also a huge fan of: “Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.”

  • Jess and Erin

    There’s not a person in the world who doesn’t love Mean Girls

    Jess x

    http://aroseandapeony.blogspot.com.au/

  • http://www.facebook.com/adrian.clutario Adrian Clutario

    Karen:

    Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes and Nobles.
    And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it.
    And I’m sorry for repeating it now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/adrian.clutario Adrian Clutario

    “Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa”

    “Welcome!”

    “I’m from Michigan.”

  • noedennis

    I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTH SIDE FOR THIS!

  • Holly

    “I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”

    “I saw Cady Heron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.”

  • Dandy

    “I want my pink shirt back!”

    http://thewhatiwores.blogspot.com.au

  • Braun

    The best quotes are the underrated ones which Tina Fey so sneakishly inserted into this masterpiece.

    “I actually bartend a couple nights a week down at PJ Calamitties.”

    “I love seeing teachers out of school, it’s like seeing a dog walk on it’s hind legs”

    “i’ve been really busy with show choir lately”

    “GREAT turnout this year!”

    “Why is this under the sink?! This is my fertility vase from the Undibeli tribe, does that mean ANYTHING to you?!”

    “But you love Lady Smith Black Mambazo!”

    “Cady, she’s a life ruiner, she ruins people’s lives”

    I live by this movie.

  • thechicndamned

    Wow. I can’t believe its been 9 years already. Considering how often I quote the movie, it does not feel that long- except when you look at recent photos of Lindsey Lohan.

    #youcantsitiwthus #andnoneforreginageorge

  • http://www.fellowthreads.wordpress.com/ Fellow Threads

    Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble.
    And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it.
    And I’m sorry for repeating it now.

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    Thank you for this.

  • ilovesatchmo

    “My tribal vases. Why are they under the sink?”

    “This the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe – Does that mean anything to you?”

  • http://hkittygirl.blogspot.com/ Audrey (hkittygirl)

    “One time, (Regina George) punched me in the face. It was awesome.”

    Truthfully, every line is classic. My school has a page where we can anonymously submit secrets. Half of them are students just quoting Mean Girls. We all get really into it and I’m pretty sure Regina George would be Queen Bee at my school.

  • Cassandra

    I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!

  • Trina

    “Somebody wrote in that book that I’m lying about being a virgin because I
    use super-jumbo tampons. But I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow
    and a wide-set vagina.” -Bethany Byrd

  • Vego

    http://shop.nylonmag.com/products/but-youre-like-really-pretty-sweatshirt

    I’ll just leave this here. Relevance level 100

  • Agustina A

    “On Wednesdays we wear pink”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004265289647 Facebook User

    Stop trying to make fetch happen!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=10233915 Zach Keller

    I can’t go to Taco Bell Karen, I’m on an all carb diet. God Karen you’re so stupid.

  • kathers
  • http://profiles.google.com/justinnejavate Justinne Javate

    When Regina calls Karen and tells her she’s sad…Karen asks if she wants to go to taco bell!

  • Alba B.

    I haven’t followed this serial, although I can see your admiration despite the time that run by! It is interesting to have such a long love affair, your husband should be proud!
    But what I wanted to write here is that I am already looking forward to have a similar post, or even better – after 9 future years – QUOTING “GIRLS”!!!

  • Sombody from Somewhere

    Haha the best of my childhood!

  • Yas

    “You can’t sit with us – you’re in sweats”

  • Suzannah

    “I don’t hate you because you’re fat, you’re fat because I hate you.”

  • liz

    “She doesn’t even go here!”
    “Do you even go here?”
    “No, I just have a lot of feelings…”
    Pure movie gold right there!

  • Omer

    “Whatever, im getting cheese fries”

    “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US”

    “Get in loser were going shopping”

    The Regina George monologue about Janice Ian cc: http://www.whysanity.net/monos/meangirls2.html

  • Kristina

    She’s fabulous, but she’s evil!

  • Kristina

    I can’t have taco bell! I am on an all carb diet! God you’re so stupid Karen!!

  • brunetteletters

    Gretchen stop making fetch happen!! I LOVEEEE this post! So many good memories!!!

    Great movie…and the ‘burn book’ LOL!!!

    Brunette Letters Blog

  • http://twitter.com/mzoffranieri Michael Zoffranieri

    “I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow, and a wide-set vagina.”

  • http://twitter.com/thesobremesa The Sobremesa

    Who wouldn’t want to go see Lady Mambaza?! Hahaha… amazing movie. LL was so amazing, until she fell off the deep end! Hope you can follow me…

    http://www.thesobremesa.com
    http://www.facebook.com/thesobremesa
    @thesobremesa

  • kylie

    “get in bitch, we’re going shopping”

  • shab

    my boobs can tell when it’s raining

  • Eclair

    “People say I’m lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can’t help it if I have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!”

    “Yeah, I can’t do this…”

  • seung yeon kim

    of course, NO 1. is my favorite!

    http://www.pokchic.com

  • http://twitter.com/niknikpaddywack nikkiR.

    “boo you whore.”

  • Rosa S

    “Sweatpants are the only thing that fits me right now”

  • SJP

    “Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ a word – it’s not a word!” 9 years!? Utter madness – who’d have thought that Lindsy Lohan would have ended up behind bars and Rachel McAdams would have looked so good as a brunette!?

  • Behind the Mirror

    “Stop trying to make fetch happen… It’s not going to happen!” can pretty much be applied to all walks of life.

  • http://twitter.com/alisyung Alice Young

    Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!

  • Alexis

    “What do they talk about?”
    “Ashton Kutcher!”
    “Is that a band?”

  • Yasu

    “But I can’t help it if I’ve got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.”

  • http://twitter.com/AleeeMarr Alejandra

    You smell like a baby prostitude.

  • Lalala

    I was half a virgin when I met him.

  • Frida Bjerre

    I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me… but I can’t help it that I’m so popular.

    Get in loser, we’re going shopping.

    Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh… “Caddy” Heron. Do we have a “Caddy” Heron here? It’s Cady. Oh Cady, here you go, one for you… And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.

    Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles.
    And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it.
    And I’m sorry for repeating it now.

    That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I’ve ever seen.

    I was half a virgin when I met him!

    Boo, you whore!

    I hear she does car commercials… IN JAPAN.

    Oh my God, Karen, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.

    Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen!

    And also, there’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining!

    And i could go on and on and on like this (I can actually say the whole script… It’s a gift)
    I use the quotes everyday, it’s like a bible or something!

  • Emily

    “I will keep you all night here if I have to!”
    “We can only keep them till four”
    “I will keep you until four!”

  • Faye

    ‘my nail beds suck!’

    ‘Jason why are you such a sqeeze?’
    ‘Say crack again crack’
    ‘ok love ya see ya tomorrow’

  • lejoiede.blogspot.com

    “It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s about to rain.”

    “Really? Thats amazing.”

    “Well.. they can tell when it is raining.”

  • http://twitter.com/ELUXL ELUXL

    haha I remember this movie, every seconds of it :D http://www.eluxl.com

  • http://twitter.com/meligar13 melanie garcía

    that is the ugliest f-ing skirt i’ve ever seen / (reminisces) omg i love your bracelet, where did you get it?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/flo.mawlawi Farah Mawlawi

    ¨We gotta crack Gretchen Weiners, crack Gretchen and then we crack the lock on Regina´s whole dirty history.¨
    ¨Say crack again.¨
    ¨Crack.¨

  • Heather

    This? So FETCH.

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  • Veronique

    “It’s not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.”

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