Stolen From The Men
Do we yearn for simplicity?
Do we yearn for simplicity? It occurred to me last week while I was shaving my legs (fine, arm pits), using my partner-in-sex’s razor for the umpteenth time, that the last time I even attempted to use a razor designed for women was at summer camp in the year 1999, when the hair on my legs was so sparse and fine, I probably could have done the job with tweezers. Years later, a Venus shave is never as close as a Mach 3 shave.
My shaving ritual was followed by deodorant application. And you know what I realized then? The last time I even attempted to use deodorant constructed for women was in 2001, before I’d gotten my period once and fretfully for all, and hormone was still just a vocabulary word that did not feature a silent H.
Initially, I’d thought that maybe my proclivities were unique to me and that my overactive bodily functions insinuated that while yes, technically I am woman, I maintain a generous dose of masculinity. (Case in point: I get 5 o’clock shadows on my knees, have been told by an ex-boyfriend that it takes some time to get used to my “musk.”). But then I commissioned the opinion of three of my most devastatingly feminine friends (they smell like rose petals and garden themed spa parties) and guess what? They use mens products as often, if not more, that I do. Face wash, cream, nail clippers and so forth.
But what is it about our male counterpart products? Are we unwittingly yearning for simplicity and the uniformity of having one product for every such bathroom routine? Maybe. In trying to figure out the made for him, used by her allure, I found myself teetering off topic and thinking about other items that when made for a man seem far more superior for use by a woman.
On the roster I found: (1) small card holders to store our money in place of enormous wallets–I stopped using a big wallet months ago when I forfeited large purses. Frankly, though, it’s also not in our best interest to roam around with our entire fiscal lives contained by one multifaceted yard of fine leather. (2) Watches–our wrists are historically smaller and as the hypothesis goes, chunky watches = sexy. Though in my opinion, they equal a trendy opportunity for weight lifting and take care of the now-beaten-ad-nauseam “arm party” without requiring too much though. (3) White shirts–show me darting and I will recoil. A fitted blouse seems so downright dated it’s hard to take shirts designed for females when not of the Equipment variety seriously. And the thing to remember about a mens white shirt is that it’s like a pair of clogs and as such needs the right dose of tender love and care to break in and reach its maximum potential.
Now, what are some of your favorite mens products? And why do you think we get such a sufficient kick out of his shit?
Photographed here: Gillette razor, Bottega Venetta wallet, Recipe for Men deodorant, Panerai watch, and Comme des Garcons SHIRT (though as I’ve often preached, the selection in the little boys department at Lands End or Uniqlo or Club Monaco, or anywhere, really, is pretty decent as well.)