I still stand by my previous word and maintain that Valentine’s Day may bear more similarities to a colonoscopy than a national holiday based on the merit of love. Why? Because if performed improperly, it is still afflictive and uncomfortable.
Suppose you’re not in love, why is Valentine’s Day trying to elicit that singular feeling of absolute loneliness? And if you are in love? That’s cool. But must we commemorate camaraderie and companionship today of all days? Isn’t the supposition that we should celebrate each other every day? Or at very least, every other day? Fine, once a week.
At Man Repeller, the royal We like to think that V-Day actually collapses to mean Vagina Day. We do, after all, nest the it-genitals of 2012 and 2013 (as mandated by yours truly) beating out our Y-centric contenders a whopping two years in a row. So why not celebrate that? And, of course, the extensive sobriquets our respective O’Keefes garner. (My particular favorites include Notorious V.A.G, Venus Fly Trap and The Mystical Fold–this one, because we are mysterious creatures and should be treated as such). Oneness is a good thing and it’s okay if you’re alone this V-Day. As a matter of fact it’s okay if you’re alone every February 14th going forward.
You have a companion within yourself and depending on your sense of humor, her name might be Ninja Boot. She will never abandon you and though often attack you with a deep rouge surprise, her intentions are only in your best interest. I think that’s important to remember.
Bottom line? Happy Gal-entines Day. Let’s raise a glass to ourselves.