The Art of Texting

January 31, 2013

In ten easy bullet points

The last time I was single and fighting for my right to seduce a man, any man–I’d even take my brother for heaven’s sake–I tried to keep the communication to text message. Why? Because phone calls are awkward. They are used to keep in touch with forlorn relatives in other states. They force uncomfortable conversational fodder and an inevitable dialogue about the weather. Sometimes my ear will begin to hurt and when that happens I will have to surmise that I have probably contracted brain cancer.

On text message, you can edit. You may develop carpel tunnel, but that won’t kill you. You can think, you can gap silence. You can thoughtfully consider what will go into crafting the perfect message and in some instances, wholly create that immaculate vision.

It’s quite dated to consider text messaging a low-grade form of communication when articulation by way of smart phone has effectively become the modern day equivalent of a love letter. Send me those three, short, imperforate words: “I Miss You,” and watch me metamorphose into mashed potatoes. Call me to say the same thing, and I might wonder why you called to tell me that.

In spite of my ability to diagnose a social problem–that women may be underwhelming the power of texting–this is no longer my game (see: the husband factor), and so I’ve commissioned several of my awesome, single friends to weigh in on the top 10 text-message Don’ts pertaining only to the primordial stages of a burgeoning love affair.

Illustration by Charlotte Fassler

1. If you can’t tweet it, don’t text it–this includes spaces. According to the author of this quote, (her name is Amelia and she loves horses in the literal sense not to the large genital sense,) in the first phases of conversation, shorter is always sweeter.

2. This one is rather usual considering the character restraint in #1 but according to another friend, restricting the use of acronyms in early messages may help catapult later messages. If not because you’re not sure who you’re dealing with (e.g. a human with little brain capacity for words that are not spelled out) than certainly because some people (me) have a rather violent aversion toward empty acronyms, see: rotfl, lmao. You are definitely not rolling on the floor and your ass has definitely not dispatched from your body due to my highly advanced sense of hilarity.

3. You can send a nipple and you can send your face, but you can never send them in the same message. You don’t really know him yet, so be careful. The internet is vast–and once something is on here, it’s on here forever.

3b. While we’re on the topic of Selfie Texting–it is seemingly rather tricky, isn’t it? Does a photo lose its intimacy if you send it to Instagram an hour later? Or worse, do you feel judicious defeat if you receive it in filtered formation?

4. Time (and your level of inebriation) are of the essence. Think before you text. Can you remember your smart-phone pass-code? Are you having trouble explaining to your mom that you’ll “bhfe hjome ini 1-!” Are you having trouble remembering if the woman you’re texting is in fact your mother? No matter what you think you have to say, how witty, charming, convivial it will be, there’s always tomorrow morning (and a pretty profound headache) to make up for short term radio silence.

5. Now, because BBM is a communicative tool of the past. Choppy

messages

like this

are just

frustrating.  What’s more? (This one hails from the vast experience of a certain Charlotte,) no talk is better than small talk. Try to cut the: “Hey.” “Sup.” “NM, you?” Throat clearing can be accomplished independently.

6. MR Disclaimer: I personally can’t get behind this one. Don’t “double text” – the ideal iPhone screen of a conversation between two courting individuals should be a perfect pattern of his word bubble, then yours. His, then yours. White, then blue. White, then blue.

If he responds to your text without another question, don’t respond to his statement. If he wants to continue the conversation, he will.

Example of a Do, with a good outcome:

You: So how was last night?

Him: So much fun

You: ___________ <—DO NOT SAY ANYTHING

Him: How was your night. Congratulations you just won at texting!

Example of a Do, with a less than favorable outcome:

You: So how was last night?

Him: So much fun

10 hours later

…….

Still nothing

Here – he did not follow up. But guess what? You don’t care.

Example of a Don’t:

You: So how was last night?

Him: So much fun

You: Really? What did you do?

He probably just wants to watch TV and leave the non-existent buttons on his phone unpressed.

Example of a big Don’t:

You: So how was last night?

Him: So much fun

You: Really? What did you do?

Him: Went out w. some of my boys

You: Cool! Where

There’s a hint here waiting to be had. Boys are the worst.

7. Be cognizant of your spelling choice, see: you vs. ya vs. U. A “miss you” registers far more evocatively than a “miss ya” does. Miss you’s are for lovers. Miss ya’s are for your camp BFF. Also, easy on the abbreviations. Give more credit to vowels, they exist for a reason. (This one is mostly for my mom, who is not a dalliance–we’ve been in love for 24 years–but will almost always send a text message that looks like this, “hy. wnt to hv dnnr w dd n me tnt?”)

8. Your text message is not a social media tool and as such, the journalistic rule of thumb remains in tact and mandates that you get but three exclamation points over the course of your career (budding romance). Three. You’re excited, I know, I’m excited too, but in the vast valley of underestimations we (as women) tend to make, don’t abjure the power of a period.

9. Think before you send: would you be horrified if he showed this message to his friends? It could happen.

10. Finally, be weary of text-message bombing (which is considerably different than photo bombing). This suggestion comes from a friend of mine who has more or less been out of the dating game a full decade. She suggests that even though she does not agree with the following dramatization, it is likely a fantastic way to disengage the other end of your message.

Girl: “Hey.”

Two minutes pass.

Girl: I said, “hey!”

Another minute passes.

Girl: “Okay, I’m giving you ten seconds to say hi back or we are never talking again.”

Girl: “10…”

“9…”

“8…8 1/2…”

“7….”

…You get the point. In fulfilling the guidelines of this monologue, you break almost every rule in some capacity, display your inability to countdown (eight and a half comes before eight,) and perhaps most dangerously: allude to emotional illness.

Fine, full disclosure, I am the maniacal texter in #10. I’m also married, though, which implies that occasionally, being who you are is rather endearing. Now, are there any specific do’s and don’ts not listed here that you subscribe to? Do share.

  • Reptilia

    hahahahhaah hilarious!! Can´t stop laughing!

    http://www.justreptilia.com

    xx

  • http://www.chezglaser.com/ Sarah Glaser

    Thank you for breaking it down for folks when NOT to respond to a text. I have friends who could benefit from that advice. In texting and in life.
    http://www.chezglaser.com

  • Alex

    this is the worst article you have ever written and you and your friends read wayyyy to much into it– calm down

  • http://twitter.com/webhautejas jasmine.

    i was in the middle of a text…this post just saved me…

    • http://www.lucidnewyork.com HandmadeJewelrybyLucid

      Hahaha hilarious!

  • Yates

    “When in doubt, don’t text it.” If I had taken this to heart in college, I could have saved at least part of my tele- and cyber-dignity.

  • Taleesa

    Definitely needed this little life lesson. I’ve probably broken each and every one of these rules, during both long and very, VERY, short term relationships. Not any more though… Maybe.

  • Belén Cavas Hernández
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexandra-Glorioso/10025811 Alexandra Glorioso

    oh man, i am so guilty of both exclamations and using “u” for “you.” i keep getting mad fun of, but, whatevz! (yea, I do that too)

  • http://www.facebook.com/ychian5mall YChian Small

    Punctuations.
    Any text without punctuation mark is dreadfully lack of sense of consideration Ipersonally find it insincere and confusing you know what I mean

    http://infiniteluna.wordpress.com/

    • Leandra Medine

      HAHA.

  • Leslie

    Such a great article! And SO very true! x

  • Alyssa

    I don’t like responding to a guy after 10pm, or during the day for that matter. If I’m at work and you know I’m at work, why are you trying to talk to me?

  • mercergirl

    I thiink your Mom needs a blog. Her abbreviated texting skills are awesome. Pretty sure that my kiddos would not appreciate my skills in that.

  • http://manupstyle.com/ Jamie

    Yo Leandra, who wrote this? The voice doesn’t seem familiar to MR.

    • Leandra Medine

      I wrote it!

  • Mary

    omg no. 6 made me lol. seriously, one of the funniest posts ever. though I really wanted to write ‘one of the funniest posts ever!’ thanks for the mid afternoon laugh

  • ccmendz

    Oh my god… Qué vergüenza! I am number ten in person. I will try not to look so stupid. Thanks Leandra!

  • The Style Engineer

    Hilarious! This is so true- I especially love the BIG don’ts!

    xx

    http://lestyleengineer.blogspot.com/

  • Lauren

    This is so true. Boys are dummies.

  • Molly

    And let us not forget about “Shoshanna’s Rule”: press pause on the emoji’s until he’s had a chance to understand your (in Leandra’s own words) “highly advanced sense of hilarity.”

    • cass

      Me: How do you not think that emoji I just sent you is hilarious?
      BF: What’s an emoji?

      True story.

      • Erica N

        My boyfriend does not have an iphone, and therefore cannot see any and all emojis. It’s like I am fluent in another language entirely that I must hide from him. This must be what a double life feels like.

    • babs

      emoji 4 lyfe

  • Camille

    Does this apply to DM-ing? If so I feel cheated -hashtag didn’t get the memo [in time]
    Game over. cx

  • Lauren Dimesky

    Texting can be so hard! Even the tiniest message can be so misunderstood!

    (=’.’=)

    -Lauren at adorn la femme

    http://adornlafemme.blogspot.com

  • Nay

    I mean, this was like the best post ever. I always have to tell my friends to do this before they mortify themselves! xo love ya

  • http://www.facebook.com/humphreyssamantha Samantha Humphreys

    Yes. I fully sign on to all of this. My suggestion: Grown men should never type LOL. I roll my eyes when I see that on my screen. I prefer a haha to an LOL any day. I know the 90’s are super in right now, and I maybe be dressed like I just walked off the set of a Blind Melon video today, but this isn’t an AOL chat room.

    ALSO: never use a hashtag in a text. I will lose all respect for you.

    I think I could write a single girls book on this…

    • http://www.facebook.com/christina.j.falcon Christina Jade Falcon

      perfect.

    • http://twitter.com/lizziema lizzie martinez

      Please do, I would read it

  • Katy

    “If you can’t tweet it, don’t text it (including spaces)” = brilliant.

  • B.

    This is so accurate, I’m lol’ing at my desk.
    The most accurate, though, was the you vs. ya vs. u. I cant tell you how many times I’ve given my friends a side eye when they get excited when a guy says “ilu / imu” or love/miss ya, its simply just not the same. Spell it out so I know its real (thanks Drake).
    Also i totes disagree with the limited abbrevs. i dont agree with an excessive use of those like “brb, ttyl, wyd, hmu” etc. However, in normal convo, abbrevs like “totes, plz, def, prob,” are absolutely appropriate. This is probs due to the fact that I actually use these in my everyday vocab, as in I dont just type and read them, I say them as well. Anyone? No? K.

    brittiish.blogspot.com

  • http://twitter.com/osborra Rebeka Osborne

    Your mom leaves out vowels in her text messages, meanwhile my mom is over here sending me a million different smiley faces in each text message. I don’t know which is worse.

    With respect to #10, do all rules go out the window when you’re married/in a serious relationship? Probably, and I’m ok with that.

    P.S. This is perfect.

  • M.

    *Carpal tunnel.
    Sorry, couldn’t resist.

  • lavieenliz

    this is so true! bravo!

    http://lavieenliz.com

  • Melissa

    oh this is just so good x

  • Catherine Solomon

    The only topic I believe inappropriately averted was the essence of proper text response timing. How soon is too soon? If he waits an hour to respond, does that set your minimum reply rate to at least an hour? Maybe this is trivial, I’m not positive. Besides the physical benefits, there’s nothing greater about having a serious boyfriend than being able to rest all doubt on whether my next text will be the breaking point on our relationship.

    Love the post, though. As redundant as this information may seem at first glance, I can’t help but recall several ‘almost relationships’ I shoved down the toilet due to disconcerting communication via text.

  • Mariam

    It’s amazing how good you write. I could keep reading forever! All of them are so true, especially laughed at 6. That was me 2 years ago… LOL.

    90FIVE.BLOGSPOT.COM

  • mcb

    you get to be who you are via text because you’re married? bull. be who you are at all times. if he doesn’t like you he won’t respond. after a few hours or a few days (depending on your patience levels) you can throw the proverbial towel in.

  • Perry

    Emojis expresses thoughts that words can’t. (See season 2; episode 1 of girls).

  • mariapia

    Buenísimo! ja!

  • Elin Van Atta

    No. 2. Amen.

    I think every human with a cell phone needs to read this post. Brilliant.

    girlwiththestartattoo.blogspot.com

  • Katherine Wright

    Much appreciation for #6. It’s true! If a man doesn’t follow-up with an answer that has a question, go do something worthwhile with your time. Which is a great excuse NOT to reply, but then you also have a comeback for not replying to him (with rapid fire) once he eventually does: “Ohhh sorry, I was at yoga in my hot yoga pants, and YOU missed it!” As for motherly texting, my Mom tends to put “Love, Mom” at the end of our text convos. Endearing? Yes. I applaud your mother’s use of shorthand. Way to keep it alive and kicking!

  • Lelly

    I had a boss once who was addicted to her iphone and would insist on texting as our main form of communication. This was not a problem, except her texts were literally undecipherable. Between not re-reading and not giving a shit, you couldn’t understand anything that she said. (ex message: Rgnbone not. Call plz, too mch todo.) Okay, just because you are 60-something and using an i-anything doesn’t mean you are allowed to text like an idiot. Text messages are like mini-letters. The only exception is that you don’t have to have a conclusion (hopefully they know that it’s from you). So for goodness sakes, if you want anyone to care about what you’re writing about, make it intelligible and don’t let the reader lose all respect for you.

  • ashley

    All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to validate my disdain for exclamation points. I will be framing this article.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Maria-Inês-Ribeiro/690532663 Maria Inês Ribeiro

    very good tips, laughed a lot cause you start thinking “omg i did this!”

  • MJ

    what about WhatsApp?

  • Galina Solovyeva

    haha That’s fun :)

    BTW you can visit a new and nice FB fan page devoted to Fashion… both guys and girls.. there you can find lots of new fun and interesting information and facts about fashion! ;)
    http://www.facebook.com/fashionimmersion

  • Jennifer

    I definitely prefer texting!

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

  • Irene Glez

    sooooo true!! here in Spain, boys are the same!!

    xx

    http://www.cocoricoblog.com

  • Gabrielle

    Still trying to stop laughing at the nipple and face separation.

  • http://scattergirll.blogspot.com/ Sophie Lewis

    My equivilant to your “miss you” is definitely “good morning babe:)”. Those are the best.

  • http://twitter.com/CassandraMLopez Cassandra Lopez

    “You know, when I’m not around you, when you just send me a text full of emojis, it is so easy to dismiss you.” I love Ray.

    http://www.thegrannytreatment.com

  • loraine

    you’re married??

  • Jordie

    This is great! Can we get a post about how to go about at least attempting a normal phone conversation without dramatic pauses that leave the person on the other end wondering if you have, in fact, died? There are some millennials who want (read: need) to know. Thanks, homie!

    Also… the use of… ellipses… Which, according to our… friends… from AWKWARD, “are the sluts of punctuation.” Truer words never spoken.

  • http://twitter.com/contentnet contentnet

    Sometimes I think I am with the zeitgeist when it comes to communication, and other times, I think the world’s gone crazy. Am I weird to think that texting can convey so much that gets lost in awkward phone conversations? Maybe it is too late to try to fix this problem.

  • Blaire

    I laughed out loud like 3 solid times while reading this. SO TRUE. good post.

    I would also add that it’s good to wait a few minutes to write back, if the other person is as well. Overeager isn’t so cute.

  • Ivana Džidić

    I prefer personal communication any day….

  • Magda

    As a foreigner from a middle-to-eastern European country (Poland, to be precise) I can tell ya (!): it gets only more complicated! Some people (me included) use English phrases while texting sometimes, like: miss you, wtf, and so on. And it is usually something along a quotation, we are pretending to be Americans, we watch English-language TV shows in the original, oh aren’t we cool! BUT. While it is ok with friends and such, its gets really difficult to read while a flirt goes on. If he uses an English ‘miss you’ instead our own native language, does it mean he means it less? Is he trying to be funny? Is he to shy to say it himself so he hides behind an almost-quotation?! Two simple words in damn English, not even a sentence, and I go off overthinking for an hour! So: I am quite tolerant when it comes to texting, yes, I even learned to like the :P or xD, you can use caps lock on me all you want. But the whole global village think complicates it.

    • Laura

      I know what you mean, coming from a German speaking country. But I think being able to use English phrases during flirt-texting is also making it a lot easier for us(although you have to watch out you don’t end up writing it all in English – that just gives a weeeeeird touch to the whole conversation. Is she not able to write in her own language?..)! As you said, an English phrase thrown in into an otherwise Polish/German/w/e text usually gives the message a less serious tone, which sometimes is EXACTLY what you need, isn’t it? But then again, if you’re hoping for serious/earnest and all you get is a miss ya/whats up/sleep tight/xx/… can be kind of frustrating.
      The problem with German (I don’t know about Polish) is generally that it’s very straightforward and there’s not much room for casual flirting language. English is just so much more flexible.. There isn’t even a good way to say “I had a great time last night” without sounding weird/slutty/like someone from the 19hundreds..
      So, I’m all for English texting where your mothertongue fails you – as long as you keep in two things in mind: don’t overdo it if you want to avoid sounding stupid & if you want to say something important, don’t hide behind a different language.
      Oh, and to me, there’s nothing less sexy than a “sexy text” with grammar/spelling mistakes that clearly don’t just come from the drinks he’s had….

      • H.

        I’m from the netherlands and used to use lot of english phrases as well, whilst talking and whilst texting but after spending half a year abroad (where I spoke english all the time and eventually started thinking in english) I came back to the netherlands longing to speak my mothertongue again. I’ve been back for two years now and still refrain from using english phrases. at first, you have to get used to it and I really did feel like I could express certain things better in English but now I know how untrue that is. turns out that after all that time reading/watching/listening to things in english, I had been neglecting the development of my dutch vocabulary. I notice this is true for a lot of people of my generation. we’re so used to partly expressing ourselves in english that we don’t even learn how to do it in our own language anymore. I believe us non-english speakers need to get creative with our own languages before we forget just how rich they are!

  • http://www.erikanapoletano.com/ Erika Napoletano

    Lady, how is it that I’ve never found your blog before? Thank you. Just…thank you.

  • Tamar Ariana

    Oh man, I am so bad at all of these rules.

    http://hautecultoure.wordpress.com

  • Rose Marie
  • bonnie

    if my ass could actually detatch itself i’m sure it would have reading this.
    informative and hilarious, absolutely love your writing. this is one of those articles that makes other writers go ‘damn why didn’t i write this’

    battlecriesandchampagne

  • annie

    I do love this! I had a good laugh at some of them and cringed thinking that people actually do some of these. Excellent post.
    http://livinglikeannie.wordpress.com

  • Katherine

    This post came 5 days too late… Oh well! the good thing is that I don’t remember what I texted, my level of drunkness allowed me to text and than erase so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed in the morning…

    • Nicole

      LOVE THAT. As if it never happened…

  • http://stylewildblog.com/ Amber Callanan

    I just wanna grab my 16 year old self and shake her for doing so many of these things.

    http://www.stylewild.org

  • Laura

    I measure how idiot a person is by the way the text, and I’m sure there are a bunch of people like me out there, so: next time you text try NOT to misspell, for God’s sake(!!!)

    • Molly

      “I measure how *idiotic a person is by the way *they text.” – sorry, I had to!

      • Lauren

        “I measure how idiotic a person is by the way **he texts.” I had to, too.

  • Zainab

    Loved #6 …can’t wait to be married though so I can break the rules and he’ll still love me :P https://www.facebook.com/theempressnewclothes

  • marinacasapu

    When I was a teenager I downloaded all my text messages from my phone to my computer, and I’m glad that I did it. I read them all, once a year, and it makes me happy:)

  • Nicole

    This was amazing. Guilty as charged on a few of these rules, and I can’t help it but the drunk texting really has gotta stop! It’s the unfiltered confidence typing. Oh, and my usage of exclamation points… #notthatexcited

  • J.M. Galvin

    The worst is when a boy texts hehehe. NOPE.

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    hahahha. the dilemmas of texting :P

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/

  • zia

    thank you.. thank you.. thank you… definitely need this!

  • Nathan Niche

    This post is so cute and so true. You should check out my denim on denim on neon kidult look, which sort
    of looks like Peter Pan gave me a makeover… tell me what you think of
    it even if it only provokes you a bit ;)

    xx The Provoker

    http://www.the-provoker.com/2013/01/kid-ult-at-heart.html

  • Justice

    Can we all agree that if you’re gonna write “K” don’t write anything at all?

    Also, I am totally number 8.

    http://www.everythingisembarrassing.net/

  • Dayna

    The “if you can’t tweet it, don’t text it.” rule is amazing. I will definitely be forwarding this along to some of my single lady friends.

  • Fatin

    LMAO

  • LOLALAGERFELD

    You’re seriously hilarious!

    LOLA LAGERFELD ONLINE

    LolaLagerfeld.Blogspot.com

  • Malena
  • Giau Nguyen

    RULES TO LIVE BY. I shared this with all of my friends.

  • http://twitter.com/PrimpedandPrime Sharon Jiang

    I’m a horrid offender of the LOL rule… although that’s the only abbreviation I use and I’m 16

    Am i excused?

    http://primpedandprimed.blogspot.com.au/

  • Greer Clarke

    I know you like your journalism and everything and pure fashion can drive the originality out of any blog, but I miss your collages and I miss your layering tutorials and I miss just pictures of you wearing stuff, because I like your writing Leandra but I also just like your style :(

    • Leandra Medine

      Trying to maintain at least 2 outfit posts a week and a collage every other!

  • L’oliphant

    OMG it’s so true!

  • Gosia

    I wish cell phones had the breathalyser built in, so you couldn’t text nor write when drunk. I think I should have it patented.

  • http://twitter.com/ZouBahar Zou Bahar

    Fantabulous. J’adore!

  • Michaela

    This had me LMAO. Just kidding I think it’s gross when people use acronyms such as LOL, ROFL, etc. The use of them will possibly be an invitation for me to never text you back. I also cant get on the emoji train. No I do not want your teeny tiny emotions all over my Iphone screen. Do not try to convey your sadness over our break-up with two little people holding hands a sad face and a knife. Another nail that you have hit on the head MR….Bravo.

  • H.

    ahh great post, I defenitely needed to be reminded of some of these tips..
    but I have to say I only partly agree with number six! ofcourse you don’t want to be the only one asking questions and the conversation should be going both ways, but the rule to ONLY say something back when he asks a question is a terrible rule. I agree that in the example you gave the guy doesn’t seem particularly interested and you might want to wait for him to say something else, but in general, you don’t want to be waiting for a question all the time. that would lead to very unnatural conversations.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Benjamin-M-Van-Couvering/1073822541 Benjamin M. Van Couvering

    Preface: I’m a dude. If I’m the only one initiating text conversations, I think something is wrong. If I initiate the last 2 exchanges, its her turn to text me first. Otherwise I think she doesn’t like me.

  • Grace & Restoration

    Be careful with your smilies :) ;) :| :/

    Too many smilies can go to far.

    However they can be used effectively in a flirting sense.

    Do –

    Boy: Hey, I had a really good time last night, did you?

    Girl: Yes :)

    Don’t –

    Boys: Hey, I had a really good time last night, did you?

    Girl: yes :)

    Girl: We should do that again sometime soon :)

  • Deb

    Annoying:

    Kool with a K

    Smileys of any kind

    Emoji

    • Leandra Medine

      I am a huge proponent of “kewl” though–but only when typed ironically

      • http://twitter.com/Beckycaissie Becky Caissie

        So “coolio” is probably a big no-no? Ughhhh this is the worst news ever

  • Mina H

    hahaha I just found your blog and this article was delightful!

    I forgot what movie it was but there’s a scene where a group of girls are deciding how to write back to a guy and they spend hours and HOURS trying to figure out what the best message would be.

    haha love it. Xx

    http://live-in-this-moment.blogspot.co.uk

  • -a girl from canada :)

    No need to keep hating on the blackberry, I as a blackberry user I understand that people don’t think it’s a cool smartphone, but I think the appeal is in that not everyone has one (anymore). (That and reading my friends text message typos…)

  • Lynn

    I needed this about 4 years ago – I was such a girl when it came to texting. However shit worked out for me – he put a ring on it. But I’m sure this will save a lot of girls who were just like me, so thanks for that haha

  • http://twitter.com/RaniaNusi Rania Senusi

    I’m happy you wrote this post!! It’s so true and it is something I’ve preached to my friends for years– even though of course, I never seem to take my own advice. Thank you for being you – TMR is my fave. It doesn’t get more real than this. #realtalk

    http://www.kissesonthechic.com

  • emilia

    I love that courting has been reduced down to the simple equation of “White, then blue. White, then blue.”

    But in all seriousness I was just about to reply to a statement, so I am very happy I read this.

  • Madeline

    This literally just saved my life. Totally bookmarking this post to refer back if need be

  • Oana Cazan

    Haha, these are spot on. I would cringe if I knew anyone that would text-message bomb. And also, to everyone out there, if someone says K, please stop responding with Potassium to you too. I’ve gotten this too many times its embarrassing.

    http://www.iconicenvy.blogspot.ca

  • Aimee
  • Jules Fashion Week

    You write so fun!!! I love this post!!

  • http://twitter.com/Becckitt Becca Barton

    Here’s my question: Where do you draw the line between using too many haha’s and coming across as a cold hearted bitch?

    • Celine

      I’m wondering the same. I feel like I’m saying ‘haha’ waaay too much. But if I don’t I feel like a total bitch.

  • Molly HC

    I suspect someone has already addressed this, but since there are 104 comments (!) at this moment, I am going to be lazy and say it anyway. Also, yeah, I’m almost a week late, but whatever. Here’s my point: what’s with the double standard in rule #6? Why is it that a woman should not text a man twice in a row, yet she is expected to wait patiently for a man to text her twice in a row? The rule contradicts itself. I appreciate, Leandra, that you put a disclaimer and said you can’t get behind this rule. But I would love to talk to your friend to find out if she lives in Downton Abbey, of if she’s just like, not a feminist or something (that was a joke, people). Anyway, the point is, the notion that a man should be in control of every aspect of the beginnings of courtship is just so passe. I mean, come on ladies. Have little gumption. Don’t just lay back and think of England.

  • D

    Leandra, this one’s gooood. Right on it.

  • s

    Wow this is making me really tired. Rejection was so much easier when I was a Luddite :-/

  • http://thepoppie.com/ Poppie

    I agree with number 10 a lot. I don’t repeat text mostly because I hate to repeat myself in person so why would i repeat anything thing else. I also agree with the spelling things out is way more important especially in the beginning of a relationship. After 7 years I can simply tell Jason love ya because he knows. I’m not proving anything by spelling out you. Likewise I have got to stop with the LOL’s. They are getting rather ridiculous and I am way to old for LOL! Like seriously I need to grow the fuck up.

    Poppie
    http://thepoppie.com

  • Jessica24

    Amen Amen to #6!

  • Leah

    A boy did 3b to me. Sent me a picture then put it on instagram a couple mins later, and I hated it, it lost its intamicy. So that’s a definete don’t.
    But this is awesome!! Thank you!

  • cherry
  • Lauren

    This is awesome!! So funny, love it.

    http://ahippiesdaughter.blogspot.com

  • Chelsea Badge

    The best invention ever? Read receipts. I exclusively text people with iPhones who have read receipts turned on. It takes a lot of the hassle out of “Did he read it? Is he just not responding? Ok, calm down, he hasn’t even read it yet.”

  • Enigma

    I really loved this article, despite I don’t agree with the double texting point very much – according to my mind, you can double text, if you’ve got a point, you want to correct yourself, or just simply change the topic. And I also think that one question to him after he replies simply is okay – you show your interest in what he’s doing and I think that flatters any guy ;) Hovewer, the point of the texting etiquete reminded me my own story.
    As an used-to-be gamer girl, I was using abbreviations and English terms a lot in my conversations. All of my (not many) friends – usually from web, too – got used to it very soon and never had a problem with my “bit worse” way of texting. Later, I went (on the Internet, of course) all in English – statuses, tweets, texts. I was very happy about it, feeling like practising the foreign language and having fun with friends at the same time – when the conversation wasn’t in English at all, there was a reference for some idiom, song line or a quote in every other text I posted. I never thought I was going to change this habbit, until I met this guy. He was nice and very funny, he never minded I am a bit socially awkward and we had a lot of great small talks as colleagues – summer camp leaders. I am a single by conviction, but he seemed as a really great friend. As soon as we got home, he started texting me and I found out a horryfying truth for me – he could not speak English at all, not a word – so he did not understood anything I wrote him back. I did not want to lose him, and he really did not seemed to start learning brand new language, so I had to learn writing in my native language back. Truth to tell, it was not easy and today, I feel really ashamed, what I’ve done to myself with all those g2gs, FTWs or PLOSs.
    Year and half passed and even these days, I sometimes forget myself with some btw or see ya in the end of the message, but most of my texts are in a fluent high Czech and, as most of my web friends say, very pleasant to read, again. Me and him became very close texting buddies and I started to work on my sociophoby harder. I found out, that the Internet language was isolating me, keeping me with only one specific group of people, and I finally got out of it. I still adore English totally and I don’t think my native language sounds cool, actually it still sucks for me, but I know, that I can express my point using Czech idioms as well as the English ones now. I’ve never told him, but I’ll always owe him this one.
    That’s it, my texting story ends. The moral? Think of your own language. Learn English and abbreviations as much as you like to, but keep on your mind, that once you may need to use your own again.
    See ya, sweeties ;)

  • ravi

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  • lj

    absolutely adored this and totally agree/live by ALL of these. amazing post!

  • Nia Howl

    Kinda amused that most of this isn’t common knowledge. But perhaps that comes with experience

  • http://www.anorexicescapades.com/ BougieHippie

    OMG I adore this post! I tell my friends and people I’m dating all the time texting is to succinct. Kind of like dressing sexy enough to excite but leave something to the imagination.

    http://www.anorexicescapades.com

  • annonnymous

    i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Dr.Zabaza for bringing back my husband who left me and the kids for almost three months within the period of 48 hours Dr.Zabaza was able to bring him back to me.. i am very much greatful for restoring peace in my marital home i pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to help more people having similar problem like mine. For help you can reach him on his email address: zabaza.logan@yahoo.com or call +2348182620374

    NAME: SUSAN

    COUNTRY: AUSTRALIA

  • Blaze784

    I am testifying on how Dr upesa help me to bring back my ex-husband who left me 2 months ago i got his email on the internet on an article how he had help so many people,so i emailed the Dr and tell my problems to him and after that day he gave me assurance of 4days,to my greatest surprise my husband came back to me in third day of contacting him,i want to say a very big thank you to upesalovetemple@gmail.com. for all his help..

  • Palmtree

    Hey!….I said Hey!…. lmfao, hilarious

  • home ggg

    MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY!!! WOAH DR OKPA HAVE SHOWED WHAT HE IS MADE OF AGAIN, BY BRINGING BACK MY LOVE YESTERDAY, INFARCT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY HAPPINESS, I THINK AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ON EARTH CAUSE I NEVER KNEW I COULD CELEBRATE THIS CHRISTMAS WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WHO LEFT ME FOR THE PAST 1 YEAR AND I HAVE BE BEGGING HIM TO COME BACK TO MY LIFE BUT HE NEVER AGREED, 2 DAYS AGO I SAW A TESTIMONY OF SOMEBODY ON HOW DR OKPA BROUGHT BACK HIS LOVER. SO THAT HOW I DECIDED TO CONTACT HIM TO SEE IF HE CAN BRING BACK MY LOVER BEFORE XMAS SO THAT WE WILL CELEBRATE THE XMAS TOGETHER, SO THAT WAS HOW I CONTACTED HIM AND TOLD HIM EVERYTHING WHEN I TOLD HIM HE JUST TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY THAT MY LOVE WILL COME BACK TO ME BEFORE XMAS THAT BOTH OF US WILL CELEBRATE IT TOGETHER, I WAS LIKE HMM HOPE IT WORKS OUT THAT WAY, THAT WAS HOW I WAITED TO SEE THE RESULT, YESTERDAY MORNING WHICH WAS THE EVE OF CHRISTMAS I GOT A CALL FROM UNKNOWN NUMBER THE NEXT THING I COULD HEAR WAS MARTINS VOICE HE WAS BEGGING ME THAT I SHOULD FORGIVE HIM THAT HE IS SORRY FOR EVERYTHING. ALTHOUGH IT WAS HIS VOICE I DID NOT BELIEVE CAUSE I TAUGHT SOMEONE IS PLAYING GAME ON ME. BUT NOT UP TO 2 HOURS MARTINS CAME TO MY HOUSE AND STARTED BEGGING ME TO FORGIVE HIM THAT WAS WHEN I BELIEVED EVERYTHING AND WAS SURPRISED, I ACCEPTED HIM BACK AND WE CELEBRATED THE XMAS EVE TOGETHER AND NOW AM HAPPY AND WE ARE CELEBRATING THE XMAS TOGETHER ALSO. AM VERY HAPPY CAUSE DR OKPA IS A GREAT MAN, AND HE MADE ME HAPPY AND PUTTED A SMILE ON MY FACE,MY PEOPLE OUT THERE IF YOU ARE IN THE-SAME SITUATION I ADVICE YOU CONTACT DR OKPA FOR HELP AND HE WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AS HE HAS DONE MINE YOU CAN CONTACT HIM THROUGH: okpatempleofsolution@gmail.com OR CELL NUMBER: +2348056563186..

    AM LOVETH RICH FROM UNITED STATE OF AMERICA, THANKS FOR READING MY TESTIMONY…..

  • Grandyy

    Im am now going back over my previous textapades (see what I did there) to see if the reason why I failed is because I didnt comply to some of the don’ts above ahaha beaut post!

    stylegrande.blogspot.com

  • Regina Hall

    Wow people i feel like dancing,let me introduce my self my name is Regina Hall i want to thank this great man for what he did for name dr ogogodu this great man help me to get back my lover who left me,so this was how i came in contact with dr ogogodu i was going to a friend house in Texas when i was listing to some men talking about this great man that help them as they were talking about dr ogogodu,so luck for me on the radio i hard a shout of joy saying that dr ogogodu you are great after the woman give her testimony she now call the cell number of dr ogogodu i now write down the cell number so when i got to my friend house she welcome me after some time she told me that she have a goodnews for me that her lover who left her as just come back to her,she told me that i have not hard about dr ogogodu he was the one that help her to get back her lover,and than i told her that she should call him for me so that i can talk to him which she did,i now explain thing to him,he told me that i should not worry that everything is going to be fine,he told me that i should send him so information like is name and my name and some orders which i did,he told me that he will call me in 30min time which he did so he now told me that my lover is going to come back to within 24hours,thanks to dr ogogodu so within that 24hours my lover call me that he want me back that he is sorry for everything now i am happy with my life thanks to dr ogogodu people that need is help contact him on is email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or call him +2348078999655 just try him he will surprise you i live in USA my name is Regina Hall

  • annonymous

    لا يزال مفاجأة لي أن كنت فعلا قادرة على الحصول على بلدي الحبيب عاد لتوه داخل الفضاء من 48 ساعة. كذلك اسمحوا لي أن أبدأ بالقول اسمي، وأنا Hanama من الإمارات العربية المتحدة. قبل بضعة أسابيع علاقتي 8 سنوات تحطمت وكان الخلط ط ولكن الحمد لله أنه من خلال Dr.Zabaza أنني كنت قادرا على الحصول على بلدي الحبيب مرة أخرى في غضون 48 ساعة. في حال كنت في حاجة إلى أي نصائح العلاقة والحلول للحصول على حبيبك، الزوج أو الزوجة مرة أخرى والاتصال الهاتفي فقط +2348182620374 أو إرسال بريد إلكتروني إلى Dr.Zabaza في zabaza.logan @ yahoo.com غضون 48 ساعة وسيتم منح طلبك .

  • Smith Dora

    Hello people on this forum or website , Am just an over exerting person today for what this great man call DR ONIHA of onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com has just done in my marital life .and i will like you on this forum to help me in thanking he because for the past two years my husband has been cheating on me with a lady and this has course the family a lot of problems and our baby Evonne where the one perpetual taking the pain because at this time my husband don’t normally come home to ask after the child or care to provide what the child needed so with all this problems i was not happy in my marriage and i started going for different kind of marriage cancelling and looking for solution every where not until this faithful day when i was browsing on the internet i saw a testimony shared by miss Lewis Cheney USA about this DR ONIHA and i as-lo contacted he for help and that was how he gave me some instructions and and i followed what ever he told me and i was surprise when he said to me go my child for all will be fine in 12 hours .and within the 12 hours i actually received a call from my husband who has not called me for some months now asking after the child and i . and that was how was the end of my marriage problems . so this is why i promise to testify to the whole world about this man DR ONIHA and if any is also depress with such problems contact he :onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com and you will also find success

  • Mrs Rose

    Come an see what dr ogogodu has done for me,i am write this testimony with joy in my heart,dr ogogodu made me to be happy again after my lover name Roger left me for another lady,i try all i could to get back my lover but he didn’t come back to me i told is mother to help me plead to him he did not listing to his mother so i didn’t know what to do and couldn’t let any woman to be with him so one day so lucky for me i was listing to the radio when a woman was giving her testimony how this great man name dr ogogodu help her to get back her husband who left her she said that this great man is great that this great man help alot of people in this world,she now give out the cell number of dr ogogodu i now write down the cell number,i was so having the belive that this great man can help me to get back my lover with out no problem,when i called him he now pick my call,i told him my problem he just told me that my problem is solve that i should just have faith with him so i told him that i have faith he said okay that i should do some thing which i did,he now told me that he will call me so later he now call me that he has done so prayer that my lover is going to come back to me within the next 20hours,and that was it my lover came back to me at the time dr ogogodu said’and now will are happily married together all thank to dr ogogodu,till now people around me do not know how will came back together his mother is happy with us i do not know what to say but thanks you dr ogogodu well people will need is help also so this is dr ogogodu email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or call him +2348078999655,now i am filled with joy in my heart thank you doctor ogogodu for your great help

    MY name is Mrs Rose i live in united state of America

  • Mr Rose

    Come an see what dr ogogodu has done for me,i am write this testimony with joy in my heart,dr ogogodu made me to be happy again after my lover name Roger left me for another lady,i try all i could to get back my lover but he didn’t come back to me i told is mother to help me plead to him he did not listing to his mother so i didn’t know what to do and couldn’t let any woman to be with him so one day so lucky for me i was listing to the radio when a woman was giving her testimony how this great man name dr ogogodu help her to get back her husband who left her she said that this great man is great that this great man help alot of people in this world,she now give out the cell number of dr ogogodu i now write down the cell number,i was so having the belive that this great man can help me to get back my lover with out no problem,when i called him he now pick my call,i told him my problem he just told me that my problem is solve that i should just have faith with him so i told him that i have faith he said okay that i should do some thing which i did,he now told me that he will call me so later he now call me that he has done so prayer that my lover is going to come back to me within the next 20hours,and that was it my lover came back to me at the time dr ogogodu said’and now will are happily married together all thank to dr ogogodu,till now people around me do not know how will came back together his mother is happy with us i do not know what to say but thanks you dr ogogodu well people will need is help also so this is dr ogogodu email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or call him +2348078999655,now i am filled with joy in my heart thank you doctor ogogodu for your great help

    MY name is Mrs Rose i live in united state of America

  • tricia

    My name is Tricia Alex, am from USA. i want to use this opportunity to thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man PROPHET ALUTA brought my husband back to me, i had 2 lovely kids for my husband, about 3 years ago i and my husband has been into one qaurrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be stronge just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mINE was a small case and that i shouldnt worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man phone number and his email address. i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i did them all, he told me to wait for just two days and that my husband will come crawlling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully did what this great man asked me to do and for sure after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great suprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy.thats why i want to say a big thank you to PROPHET ALUTA. This great man made me to understand that theres no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at:PROPHETALUTASOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

  • Douglas Dashy

    My name Douglas dashy from Oxford,UK …HIV has been ongoing in my family for long..I lost both parents to HIV and it is so much pain have not been able to get over.As we all know medically,there is no solution or cure for HIV and the cost for Medication is very expensive..Someone introduced me to a man(Native Medical Practitional)in oxford..I showed the man all my Tests and Results and i told him have already diagnosed with HIV and have spent thousands of dollars on medication..I said i will like to try him cos someone introduced me to him..He asked me sorts of questions and i answered him correctly..To cut the story short,He gave me some medicinal soaps and some herbs(have forgot the name he called them) and he thought me how am gonna use them all..At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try..I was on his Medication for 2 weeks and i used all the soaps and herbs according to his prescription.. that he will finish the rest himself..and i called him 3 days after, i arrived and i told him what is the next thing..he said,he has been expecting my call.. he told me to visit my doctor for another test..Honestly speaking,i never believe all he was saying until after the test when my doctor mention the statement that am, HIV negative and the doctor started asking me how do i do it….Am telling this story in case anyone may need this man his email is: dr.skhivhomefcure@gmail.com or call him now at +2348158847627

  • sarah

    LOVE SPELL

    This powerful White magic love spell is tailored to bring your lover back in your arms permanently and with no delay. I use the best spell casting techniques to make your lover come home. This spell is customized to your situation and deals specifically with the barriers that have risen between you and your ex-partner. One by one, all obstacles will be removed until your lover realizes that leaving you was a mistake and desire nothing but coming back into your arms.you can also contact him in is email address /dr.kokotemple@gmail.com

  • Bida Stacey

    HOW MY EX LOVER CAME BACK WITH TEARS BEGGING FOR MARRIAGE

    Am Bida Stacey by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,
    a friend of mine introduce me to the Dr Harrison by giving me his email, i never believed until
    I contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return
    to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. for more information contact me on bidastacey@gmail.com I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we got MARRIED.all thanks to Dr Harrison. (seeing is believing) just put him to test and see his mighty power. If you have a similar problem please contact him on SACREDSPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM

  • Bida Stacey

    HOW MY EX LOVER CAME BACK WITH TEARS BEGGING FOR MARRIAGE

    Am Bida Stacey by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,
    a friend of mine introduce me to the Dr Harrison by giving me his email, i never believed until
    I contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return
    to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. for more information contact me on bidastacey@gmail.com I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we got MARRIED.all thanks to Dr Harrison. (seeing is believing) just put him to test and see his mighty power. If you have a similar problem please contact him on SACREDSPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM,

  • Bida Stacey

    HOW MY EX LOVER CAME BACK WITH TEARS BEGGING FOR MARRIAGE

    Am Bida Stacey by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,
    a friend of mine introduce me to the Dr Harrison by giving me his email, i never believed until
    I contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return
    to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. for more information contact me on bidastacey@gmail.com I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we got MARRIED.all thanks to Dr Harrison. (seeing is believing) just put him to test and see his mighty power. If you have a similar problem please contact him on SACREDSPELLTEMPLE@HOTMAIL.COM.

  • http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com/ Rosie Smith

    My name is Rosie Smith. To cut a long story short I tried about 3 different spell casters over a period of 3 months and all they wanted was more & more money and kept coming up with excuses as to why the spell wasn’t working. Just when I was about to give up I came across several good testimonies of Dr. Oyinbo over the internet. I contacted him and he promised to restore my faith back into spell casters, that they are real and love spells do actually work. I was very sceptical after several scam spell casters. Mine wasn’t a simple spell but Dr. Oyinbo went above & beyond his way to look for extra money when extra work was required. Always called & txt on time. Replied to emails on time. Only asked for half the spell money as initial payment. My partner had walked out on me one day with no explanation …. I was devastated. When I was about to give up hope, Dr. Oyinbo words guided and encouraged me, and then he was back 3 days after the spell was cast. I recommend Dr. Oyinbo extremely highly. Dr.oyinbo you are a gifted man and I will not stop recommending him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. You can contact him on ( prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com or prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com) or call him +2348074066640. He is the best caster that can help you with your problems. He restored my faith and I AM FINALLY HAPPY.

    xxxxxxxxxx

  • http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com/ Rosie Smith

    My name is Rosie Smith. To cut a long story short I tried about 3 different spell casters over a period of 3 months and all they wanted was more & more money and kept coming up with excuses as to why the spell wasn’t working. Just when I was about to give up I came across several good testimonies of Dr. Oyinbo over the internet. I contacted him and he promised to restore my faith back into spell casters, that they are real and love spells do actually work. I was very sceptical after several scam spell casters. Mine wasn’t a simple spell but Dr. Oyinbo went above & beyond his way to look for extra money when extra work was required. Always called & txt on time. Replied to emails on time. Only asked for half the spell money as initial payment. My partner had walked out on me one day with no explanation …. I was devastated. When I was about to give up hope, Dr. Oyinbo words guided and encouraged me, and then he was back 3 days after the spell was cast. I recommend Dr. Oyinbo extremely highly. Dr.oyinbo you are a gifted man and I will not stop recommending him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him anytime, he is the answer to your problems. You can contact him on ( prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com or prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com) or call him +2348074066640. He is the best caster that can help you with your problems. He restored my faith and I AM FINALLY HAPPY.

  • jessica

    Hello,
    Am Jessica by name My ex-boyfriend dumped me 6 months ago after I
    accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in
    my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and
    don’t know what to do,
    a friend of mine introduce me to Dr Ayelala by giving me his email, i never believed until
    I contact him and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me after 3days that my ex will return
    to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my
    door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not
    only that,we got MARRIED.all thanks to Dr Ayelala. If you have a
    similar problem please contact him on doctorspellsolution@hotmail.com