Give me What I Want

Zoom
December 11, 2012

But bear in mind that when I say me, I mean you

Holiday gifts are tricky, holiday gift guides are deceiving. I once received socks; another time, band-aids–both were suggestions pulled from a magazine that I read quite chronically. I wanted to blame the givers, (two very close friends,) for not knowing me at all, but the fact of the matter is, they were being considerably thoughtful. They looked to the incubator of my interests to gain insight in spite of my very coy “you don’t have to get my anything, silly!” Yes, it was my fault that I’d been bequeathed minimal wound-healers and burgundy toe warmers equipped with Dutch homes plastered to the ankles.

“Oh, nothing, just your friendship!” is the most underwhelming, anti-climactic response to the age old, “what do you want for the holidays?” What you want, after all, is vastly different than what you will get, so why not balls to walls and answer the question truthfully? (See: A loft on Franklin Street, the original hair from Dali’s mustache, framed in gold.)

In order to get the wheels of your brain in motion, here are ten things (and one for good luck,) I’d be supremely happy to receive. Friends, parental units, man-friend, brothers: if you’re reading, feel free to take note.

1. Politically incorrect adjustable bracelets for you and yours. And so you know, I bought both for myself. There’s nothing wrong with liking yourself mucho, I don’t think. Venessa Arizaga I Love Chicos, I Love You Mucho bracelets, $55 each.

2. For he or she who owes you a large chunk, how about a literary classic and wise way to stow your belongings? Olympia LeTan’s Huckleberry Finn clutch, $1,880.

3. I’ve heard it’s bad luck to offer the gift of footwear but that’s a ridiculous assertion that we should not subscribe to. If you’re a woman, let’s play a game called, How Many Smiles Can I Procure because of These Hot Chicks. If you’re man, let’s play a game called, How Quickly Will She Sleep With Me After I Give Her These Hot Chicks. Laurence Dacade white patent leather booties, $845.

4. Pretension is a difficult gift to bestow upon someone but I think a red hat can achieve that provided the receiving end vows to wear it exclusively indoors. Red Rag & Bone chapeau, $175.

5. Or how about just a giftcard to The Fancy–there, an array of kitschy salt ‘n’ pepper (not to be confused with SaLt n’ PePA) shakers, sweatshirts with Biggie’s face plastered across them and iPhone cases clad in mustaches wait for retrieval on your own terms.

6. Bowls and cups with feet are a nice one too. We all eat, we all drink–this one is wildly functional and there’s no reason we shouldn’t do the aforementioned without charming little legs protruding from our ceramic containers. $36 and $18 respectively.

7. Here’s another wishful one: Alison Lou emoticon necklaces! Because they define this generation in 18k gold and even allow ample room for irony, (e.g. wearing the crying face while under the influence of Prozac, wearing bashful while pole-dancing.) Available at Fivestory, NY.

8. Helmut Newton’s Polaroids–because coffee tables don’t really harbor coffee. No, they harbor books, which are sometimes expensive and I’m not sure about you, but I’d rather spend my money on I Love Chicos bracelets, $59.99.

9. The Kanye West sweatshirt I tweeted about yesterday, as found on Etsy because the response was thrilling and vast and as such, forces me to believe that either yourself or one of your human appendages would probably like one, $20. Hash tag, Yeezy.

10. Now, if I can’t get the original hair from Dali’s mustache, I will be more than pleased to settle on authentic vaginal pubes by way of  this Aurel Schmidt gem. My breasts too, are made from Hershey kisses, so, we have that in common.

11. And last but not least, a mint colored Thunderbird equipped with photoshoot compliments of the very opinionated, pinky ring wearing Ben Fink Shapiro. The end.

  • Styleclouds

    Great picks! I am loving the white booties and the fedora!! Perfect! xo, Christina

    http://www.styleclouds.de

  • Belen

    Ohhh! I liked it much better when you placed all images in the post. I don´t like this new feature or widget to see the images in your blog… Please… Love your blog, anyway.

    • Leandra Medine

      Thanks for the feedback!! Any particular reason why?

      • when we wander

        I agree with Belen! It’s a big annoying to scroll down to read the description, then scroll back up to see the picture.

        • Nico
        • Anon

          Agree, also think all images should be standard proportions when using this feature – even if there’s “white space” around some, it would be preferable to the screen jumping every time you change images.

      • Asia Carter

        I agree with when we wander, I do think the widget works for certain posts but in this case maybe not. I wouldn’t say totally abandon the new format because I have liked it on some other posts.

        • cariolina

          Agree completely its really annoying to scroll up and down and it doesnt make you want to stay on the page and keep reading..

      • Alina

        yes , clicks = time, time = money. plus: we love when you constantly satisfy our inner peeping tom!

      • Hudson Berry

        Also in agreement with Belen – I always wish Emily of Into the Gloss would switch to your original format

      • Veronica

        Is there a way to have the description and the photo arranged together and still maintain the slide show style? This is done on many magazine blogs, and works well as long as the slide doesn’t glitch and load multiple times (I’m looking at you R29…). I do like the slides though. And I friggin’ love your blog. It’s my morning ritual with coffee.

        • Leandra Medine

          Yo wish is my command!

    • Bex

      ditto! I use a little laptop and have to scroll up and down each time the new pic loads

  • H

    The irony of someone trying to be polite and answering that they don’t want anything for the holidays. Eh, it’s more polite not not leave someone stumped as what to give.

    But loving those booties, and that clutch a classic!, ans gotta love that Yeezy sweater aye. :)

  • Reptilia

    Love these bracelets!!

    http://www.justreptilia.com

    xx

  • rhodawong
  • AK

    I agree..tell em what you want! Your post made me think of a song….it’s the 4th one down http://joeldarling.com/

  • Clare

    That is a FANTASTIC clutch!!

  • knockingonfashionsdoor

    I love all you suggest!!

  • Jordan

    My boyfriend just said he was done w/my Christmas shopping. He better think again if Yeezy ain’t under the tree.

  • Laura Dittrich

    I need that fedora x

    Fashion Landscape

  • http://twitter.com/AleeeMarr Alejandra

    All I want for christmas is to bottle my own water at Fiji at Alexa Chungs legs.

  • http://twitter.com/CEOsnakeeyes Karly Snajczuk

    indoors is one word #pretension

  • alice

    I have fallen victim to my modesty too on maaany birthdays. “what are you going to do on your birthday?” “Nothing special.” “What do you want?” “I don’t know”. This particular conversation led to my best friends getting me just a happy birthday card. I blame both myself and them

  • Inspirareland

    I totes need that Kanye sweatshirt.

    http://www.inspirareland.tumblr.com

  • Amalie Espeland

    yeah, i pretty much want everything x

  • http://www.suspironews.blogspot.com/ Betsy

    All I know is that I want Dali’s mustache hair as well…

    http://suspironews.blogspot.com/

  • Aubrey

    I sort of disagree! This display of photos is cleaner and if I’m not interested in something then I don’t have to look at it. ;]

  • Elaine Daniels

    I totally need an emoticon necklaces. My favorite is the one with the party hat. :)

    Follow:
    http://stylesays.com

    Giveaways:
    http://www.stylesays.com/promotions

  • http://iamturquoise.wordpress.com/ iamturquoise

    adorable emoticon necklaces!!

    http://iamturquoise.wordpress.com

  • Jennifer

    I always ask people what they want. I don’t care about surprises, I just want to make someone happy!

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Newborn Fanatic

    i wouldn’t mind that mint thunderbird at all :D but seriously. i’m dying to get my hands on the emoticon necklaces and it saddens me that its only in NY!

    and that rag bone hat..why oh why is it always sold out in size SMALL? sadness..

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/

  • http://www.injackiesshoes.com/ Alexandra

    Love these ideas. AND that Kanye sweatshirt is ridiculously fab.
    xo,
    Ali

  • http://theurbanpromeneur.blogspot.com/ THE URBAN PROMENEUR

    Kanye West sweatshirt. Yo bro, that would sweeten the crowd under the christmas tree.

    http://THEURBANPROMENEUR.blogspot.com

  • http://twitter.com/SylviaETC Sylvia ETC

    Inspiring list, thank you!
    My picks (if close friends read:) !!
    – the Helmut Newton’s polaroid book
    (- and the white irridescent tights on the cover … hello Margiela?)
    – the I love chicos bracelets … exactly the thing that makes happy when someone says ‘oh you know just a little something, a little surprise for you’
    cheers!

    http://www.sylviaetc.blogspot.com

  • Theunnownsisters

    We love the blog anyway

  • PynkNylon.com

    This new format is as appealing as the Yeezy sweatshirt, lol. Great collection!

  • Ariel Robert

    You would have the best wishlist!

  • Sylvie

    Ok, I am not cool so you’ll have to help me out. Why is the Kanye sweatshirt cool? Thanks to whomever knows…

    • Emma K

      You obvs are not down with Kanye. This is not a list of “cool” stuff. It’s a list of things she fancies for Xmas! You either like ‘em or you don’t, but I didn’t see any claims that the sweater is “cool”, unless you like Kanye, and then it’s a given.

      • Sylvie

        Thanks, think I understand;)

  • http://twitter.com/Fawkeshunter Fawkeshunter

    A) Kanye should be under every one’s tree this year. B) I wholeheartedly subscribe to your balls-to-the-walls philosophy and give my family a list of pre-approved gifts every November. Their previous attempts at going rogue have been so unsuccessful that the phrase “going off-list” has become a year-round phrase of warning to family members wading into dangerous territory. http://fawkeshunter.com/

  • victoria armendariz

    Agree I would love to see the pictures too :) I’m lazy sorry. Love your gift ideas, it help me a lot girl.

    love, Vicks

    http://rawrvsalmeron.blogspot.com/

  • Kendra

    ***bear in mind*** (as in bearing a load)

  • http://twitter.com/selenaaponte Selena Aponte

    that chapeau is killa! you can keep the pubes, I’ll take Yeezy & Dacade

  • arleendee

    No widgets please!! loved your picks though! :) xx

    http://supikuku.wordpress.com

  • Sabah A

    Have to agree with everyone else – prefer the original layout of having the pictures all on the page. A nice clean aesthetic – first time commenting just to say that lol. LOVE.

  • Felicity

    I have never wanted anything as much as I want an Olympia Le-Tan book clutch. Never. I wanted the Catcher in the Rye one the most. I would tell you how many books I’ve cut up in a ridiculous attempt to recreate one on the cheap, but I’d only be embarrassing myself. x

    http://that-bird.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Addison

    MR. You are the shit, and we have the same taste in Chanaka lists. love forever

    http://willcodeforclothes.com

  • fashionablecollections

    that kayne sweatshirt rocks

    Collections

  • http://www.ourwonderlust.com/ TinaOurWonderLust

    Thanks for the suggestions. My best friend saw it here and got the Love You Mucho Bracelet and I don’t know how I ever lived without it! http://www.ourwonderlust.com/ourwonderlust/ourbeauty-venessa-arizaga.html

  • Ali Rabah

    good