That was sung to the tune of And Party and Bullshit. I really enjoy Biggie, much more when he allows Miley Cyrus to defile what’s left of his legend with lyrics like “nodding my head like, yeah. Movin’ my hips like, yeah.”
And you’re just like, what? Last night I vowed to speak exclusively in YouTube links on twitter but realized how difficult it may render on the account of my overwhelming interest in words that don’t really exist.
But on the topic of things that do exist: enormous blankets. To steal a sentence structure popularized in Mending Wall by Robert Frost, good blankets make good scarves.
This particular blanket was a housewarming gift delivered with the intention of decorating a new ox blood (not burgundy, there’s a difference,) leather chair. I had far more adventurous plans for it though. The blanket deserved more than a destiny of sitting, slung across a lifeless chair waiting and hoping that maybe, just maybe, today would be the day someone would sit not on it, but with it.
On me, the blanket would get stained by lots of red lip stick (eventually, blood too) fly through Minneapolis, into Vancouver and over many a women’s bathroom stall. This was living, I thought. And what’s more? Infinite warmth. Using the blanket as a scarf taught me quite quickly that winter coats are only as functional are the scarves they can harbor.
In light of it all, below enjoy a slow motion gif chronicling the grace and beauty of putting on a blanket, pretending it’s a scarf and in effect paralyzing movement in your neck.
You’d think it were easier, right? The good things in life tend to be hard.
Because I really enjoyed making the first gif, here are some personal struggles outlined in matters of mastering The Wink. (Not to be confused with the wink.)
And, well, here’s me dancing! This is how I used to reel in the mans.
But those days are long gone, now I just bop for fun and exercise. So, what does thee say? Will you try the blanket as scarf and give your lightweight blazers and leather jackets a longer shelf life this winter season? I say you do it.
Part of a collaboration with Calvin Klein.