How to Deal

by Leandra Medine
November 16, 2012
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Disclosure: this has nothing to do with Mandy Moore and sub-par cinematography.

I recognize that in the grand scheme of bodily bliss, our menstrual cycles and the nature of their stopping in, right on time, every month is a sizable gift to female humanity. I’m as excited as the next guy (f.) that my body–the temple of which candy corn is consumed and bile is released–can one day harbor a real life kid that will come into this world and have to deal with the anxieties of knowing that I am its mother.

“Where is my vagina?” He will ask. “No, no, son. I have a vagina, you have a mangina.” I will retort.

But in what feels like the perennial current, the gift in question, my period, is more like one decidedly obnoxious asshole with intentions I don’t trust as far as I can throw them. She stains my thighs, my ego, bruises my ovaries from the outside in, forces chocolate down my throat and never so much as pretends she’s even slightly sorry.

One of the most valuable lessons my mother taught me suggested the importance of removing myself from environments that may conjure worse versions of me. When one has infiltrated my existence so thoroughly though, prompting particular preparations with every looming experience, what’s a girl to do?

Ah, yes, just ride the wave. The crimson wave.

Feeling good isn’t easy. Hormones functioning as overactive gazelles and the fucking pimple that seemingly finds the most conspicuous spot on my chin to reappear as an affirmation to the Nile River’s relocation every single time, makes it considerably harder.

Experience has taught me that fashion can help medicate many situations. Not succumbing to the pressure of feeling forced to wear yoga pants (the popularization of this term is Vancouver’s contribution to my lexicon) in order to aid an aching stomach and bleeding vagina feels liberating. Instead: tight white pants. They’re hard to accept on even the skinniest of days but when I am least inclined to wear them is when they’re most resourceful.

Forcing self-confidence is a very real thing.

See? Six hours deep in flow, that’s a smile you can’t make up. I am just like, “Haha, this is so funny, so what if my pants are white? I have always enjoyed tie dye. They’re not buttoning right now, but my shirt is large enough to mask that, hooray.”

A moment for sausage making: this was going to be a story about dressing like Emanuelle Alt or any other incessantly chic women of the French variety but then I got my period, made like Drake and YOLOed. Looking back, the red lip seems very meta.

Rebecca Minkoff Theo jacket, Comme des Garcons mens white button up, Paige denim jeans (They’ve got this uncanny ability to narrow the width of my legs,) Isabel Marant booties and Chanel lipstick, flavor: Pirate.

Go on, beat your period to the fruit punch. Photos by Naomi Shon

REPLIES
  • Atina

    OMFG you are gorgeous

  • monkeyshines

    stunning jacket!

    Bises,
    monkeyshines
    http://monkeyshines-monkeyshines.blogspot.com/

  • http://twitter.com/TripsTreasures Trips & Treasures

    Haha this is funny! I’d never dare to wear white pants
    Love the boots

    http://www.tripsandtreasures.net
    new outfit post

  • http://www.facebook.com/shawna90 Shawna Lathey

    Brilliant.

  • kim

    umkaay

  • maria barrajon

    You look FABULOUS!!!!

    My daily outfits in Miami in http://cravingforbarneys.com

  • Lisa

    hahahahah I laughed out loud in this post…you’re hilarous. I also LOVE this look (and I agree about the effect of Paige jeans on the legs).

  • Eivor Bogstrand Mogen

    I love you.

  • Kate

    This may be some of my fav shots (and look) of yours ever :)

    Kate

    http://www.thrillofthechaise.com

  • http://www.getmadcute.com/ MADCUTE

    A very fun read, indeed!

  • http://candyandtreats.net/ Liesbeth (candyandtreats)

    Oh, those gorgeous Isabel Marant booties in white are even more beautiful!

    <3

  • http://twitter.com/madforfashion78 Berty Morales

    I am rolling in here because I enjoy every single one of your posts. You look amazing and I love this entire outfit. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Laura-Dang-Van-Sung/1253662630 Laura Dang Van Sung

    Nice outfit, really love your jacket!

    http://www.laurablogmode.com

  • Amanda

    “this was going to be a story about dressing like Emanuelle Alt or any other incessantly chic women of the French variety but then I got my period, made like Drake and YOLOed.”
    LOL

    http://vanitypresse.blogspot.ca

  • Melanie

    This was so fun to read and I of course love the outfit!

    iambornlippy.blogspot.com

  • Ash Lee Lynn

    This is just what I needed. Same cycle, maybe i’ll hit the streets in white today as well… although the chinese food coping i did last night will probably prevent me from buttoning my pants when I sit… when in Rome!

  • the (un?)social butterfly

    A brave woman you are! I won´t try that look at home (not while in my period). It´s worth the peril, though.

    http://humanwomen.wordpress.com

  • http://twitter.com/KatWalkSF Kathleen Ensign

    My thoughts exactly.
    http://www.katwalksf.com

  • Alisa Verde

    I can’t believe you went THERE. I LOVE YOU!

  • Reptilia

    Amazing jacket!!
    Funny text, love it!

    http://www.justreptilia.com

    xx

  • http://www.hautechildinthecity.com/ Chelsea

    Ah…riding the crimson wave will forever remind me of ‘Clueless’. And now, this fantastic article. You look awesome BTW. Your humor is always just what I am looking for on a day like today.

    Chelsea
    Haute Child in the City

  • diane

    Your best look ever!

  • Marisa

    La chaqueta es ideal.
    Besos

  • Carola Disiot

    i’m in love this with boots! original and amazing outfit!

    ciao!

    http://www.pursesinthekitchen.com

  • Natali

    I just love your sense of writing, humor, blog, style, everything :D

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

  • Céline

    You just made my day ! thanks for posting such funny stories.
    xx from Switzerland

  • http://tqsm.blogspot.com/ la tiquismiquis

    you look just perfect madame!

  • http://pilanaandcompany.blogspot.com.ar/ Constanza

    And you’re calling yourself a Man repeller? Damn girl you’re looking hot!

    http://pilanaandcompany.blogspot.com.ar/

  • lauren

    Leandra Medine for president!!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12131852 Nichole Smith

    Dying laughing. This. Was. Excellent.

  • kk

    Thanks for this.. I just got my waist length hair cut to a disastrous short haircut a few days ago and am shocked at how much confidence I have lost. Will need to work on forcing it..

    • AshleyOlivia

      I’m sure your new haircut is fantastic. (I originally typed fierce, but then decided that Tyra has ruined that word forever.) Every time I have chopped my hair off, it’s taken a few days for me to adjust… and then I decide that the cut is awesome :) Your brain just needs a bit to adjust to the new lack of weight on your head, and then you will feel fabulous!

  • lanestrainsandautomobiles

    bad ass outfit! so good.

  • also riding

    love that you cluelessly added the crimson wave. Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/EileenieWang Eileen Wang

    gorgeous

  • Laura Dittrich

    The jacket and heels are amazing! You look fantastic in all white and black x

    Fashion Landscape

  • http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/ Linda

    hahaha! red on your lips instead of the pants. awesome. love your blindingly white outfit with the stark black contrast *thumbs up* edged up winter wonderland~

    http://newbornfanatic.wordpress.com/

  • lavieenliz

    so white!! I haven’t seen such a crisp white in a while!

    http://lavieenliz.com

  • Elizabeth Ogedengbe

    OMG I totally just bought Pirate today! I LOVE it! Also, you look wonderful and I feel the same about ‘that time of the month’- meh! x

    http://www.shopaholics-journey.blogspot.co.uk

  • http://www.fashiondenis.com/ Denisa

    You look great. Have a nice Friday.

    http://www.fashiondenis.com/

  • amber

    Your wirting skills astound me. Red lips – meta. OMG. I love you. I’m obessed with how you write!

  • Felicia

    whoa lady, there is nothing man repellent about this look! i love it :) you’re hott

  • pilar

    too funny you wrote about it, cause i’m on my period and it’s quite sad cause it’s fucking hot here in brazil and i basically look/act like a whale..

  • PinkCheetahVintage

    lolzzzz periods & white pants! Loveeee the boots!

  • Elizaf

    That was awesome. Especially when i’m raggin’. You go girl!

  • madelen

    what a fantastic piece of text. same with the one bout clueless – spot on, nailed it, you wrote everything i subconciously allready knew but couldnt put my finger on. your writing is art, i always say that everyone knows that clueless and periods are funny subjects. humour is the ability to say what everyone allready knows in a new way – as you keep doing over and over again. keep it up leandra!!! hugs and kisses as menstrual flow from oslo, norway

    ps. i fucked up your star system. it says -19, it should say +199 for wearing WHITE PANTS WITH YOUR MENSIES HOLY SHIT WOMAN THAT IS SERIOUS LADYBALLS RIGHT THERE

    • http://www.EatStylePlay.com/ Eat.Style.Play

      Right? I can’t even wear a white shirt on a normal day without staining, let alone white pants when I little have a black cloud dragging over me during that time. Haha, how sweet is that we can come to a place like this and openly talking about shit like this. LOL, never thought i’d see the day.

  • http://twitter.com/SophieLewis423 Sophie Lewis

    Obsessed with those booties! Love that you are rocking white:)

    http://scattergirll.blogspot.com

  • PatriciaBrand
  • ecats

    Fucking hilarious!!!! I can’t get enough of your writing!

  • Mouthful of Style

    So great and you are the only one that can pull this post off! My brother went to your event last night in NYC and said it was fab. Wish I could have made it but still living in London! One day I’ll be back in NYC…

    Style insights and luxury fashion business learnings: http://www.mouthfulofstyle.blogspot.com

  • kcomekarolina

    i love it!

    xoxo from rome

    K.

    kcomekarolina.com

  • The Urban Promeneur

    Such a great piece of literature. And what a piece of art this jacket is. Rebecca Minkoff just nailed it and you by wearing them with an ocean of charisma.

    http://www.THEURBANPROMENEUR.blogspot.com

  • http://twitter.com/VENZedits Amber Venz

    The black and whites are ready to be published in a coffee table book. Love the images.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Audrey-Smilgys/1008434409 Audrey Smilgys

    You look awesome and your attitude is awesome.

  • Jo

    So stylish!! LOVE your photos

    Kiss kiss.*Jo
    http://joandcompanystyle.blogspot.com/

  • http://twitter.com/elenavasilieva Elena Vasilieva

    loving the attitude and the shots are just awesome

    http://www.vasilievablog.com

  • iamturquoise
  • Romina C

    I love this outfit! And my god you look amazing on the pictures. The one when you are smiling is awesome, just makes me want to smile. I find you beautiful on it. Red lipstick suits you! x Romi
    http://www.blaastyle.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/sneiheisel Stephanie Neiheisel

    This outfit is unreal. And you always make me laugh. Thanks for the post!

  • http://cirquedelatelier.blogspot.com/ Cirque de l’Atelier

    AH-MAZE-ING!!!! Love from head to toe! The Marant booties might be my favorite??? Totally nailed the 90′s minimalist trend, so easy but looks sooooo expensive.

    http://cirquedelatelier.blogspot.com

  • Melina Rupp

    Great shots and a great look! I love the edgy leather jacket in combination to that pure white jeans!!

    Melly

    http://morgane-le-fay.blogspot.de/

  • sophie

    this look is so very parisian to me http://archiveseven.blogspot.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1033981551 Adeola Naomi Aderemi

    Great look and totally love the irony of wearing white on a day like that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1383570478 Kesly Winona Gunawan

    Amazing look! I’m so in love with your leather jacket and your red lips totally compliment this “hard” look!

    http://fashionxfreedom.blogspot.com

  • Emily

    You are such an amazing writer! Hilarious post, dear. And extraordinarily well written. Isn’t That Charming.

  • Catherine and Greer

    guilty repost: I live in Australia, and when my favourite blogger (you) continually champions the many greatnesses of layering, I’m hard to pressed to find an opportunity to actually layer. I will tell you now Leandra, 30 degrees (celcius) is not fun when you’re in some sick trousers, a tee, another cooler tee, a jacket, possibly a vest, maybe even a skirt (yes trousers have already been mentioned, the skirt is in addition not in the place of), a watch or two, shoes and layers and layers of stunning but ungodly neck adornment.

    And then I read this. Repelling IS possible, when you go back to the roots. When you go back to the staples, the “menses”, if you will. All it takes is some plaid booties and you are one step closer to repelling level:protege.

    Besides, I have to keep reminding myself that to pull of successful, repelling layering it takes not just skill and style, but practice. I won’t be a level:Leandra repeller tomorrow, but I will scare off a frigid street walker or two with my red moto jacket.

    Catchya,
    Catherine and Greer http://girl-hunting.blogspot.com.au/2012/11/the-8th-plaid.html http://girl-hunting.blogspot.com.au/2012/11/the-8th-plaid.html

  • Sarah

    Wow! I really admire your style! Talking about “the time of the month” with confidence on your blog is very inspiring! You wear your white pants like it won’t affect the situation!

  • Francesca

    My way of dealing with my period is not having it! Haha. I only stop the anticonceptional every three months, to avoid spotting. And if you take a pill with higher hormone doses you can skip the pause like, forever… After all, why period, right?

  • Natasha

    Wearing white trousers while one is riding the crimson wave is like my worst nightmare, but this is one of my favourite looks that you have posted! Really beautiful-

  • linda_famularcano

    Great photos!
    And chic look!

    I am just like that -
    so what if it’s my period?
    I will wear light and white colours if I want!
    Lol xx

    http://thecurvygirlinthecorner.blogspot.com

    P.S. Liked this post on Bloglovin ;)

  • Cherie Gisondi

    You are my hero

  • Guest

    I’m obsessed with the jacket, the outfit, the pictures, everything! Love, love, love!

    xo
    Pamela

    http://www.monmonologue.com

  • rhodawong

    you look great with red lips!

    http://www.styleandshades.blogspot.com

  • http://www.simplysouthern.org/ Emily Lunstroth

    hahah hilarious, and love this you look you killed it.

  • ektasheoran

    I always enjoy going through your post..Your write ups are so interesting and fun to read..
    You are looking amazing!
    Greetings from India
    http://unityinfashion.com

  • Faye de Lanty

    Ineffable x

  • http://twitter.com/JolienVDaele Jolien Van Daele

    I always find it amazing that every month I turn into a woman I can’t stand myself. “Don’t blame me, blame my hormones” I usually roar while growing claws, spitting around and having my eyes glow red. It would be so funny to see the monster I become then wearing skinny white trousers.
    Maybe I’d even go for a traditional princess gown. Turning Beauty and the Beast upside down. I’m in!

    Love,
    Jolien

    http://julianaandthedaydream.blogspot.be

  • Nathan Moy

    You are so gorgeous, love this B&W studded look, what a chic chick! Really adoring the booties… Btw, I recently did a giveaway featuring an authentic Maison Martin Margiela piece, NOT a Margiela for H&M!

    xx The Provoker
    http://www.the-provoker.com/2012/11/margiela-giveaway.html

    MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA GIVEAWAY
    MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA GIVEAWAY
    MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA GIVEAWAY

  • Bonnie, Clyde + Marni
  • Amber

    I can’t even get away with wearing white on a good day let alone during my period. You my friend are much braver than I!

    http://floralics.blogspot.com

  • Samantha Crawford

    You are fabulous.

  • TeuntjeVDW

    You look STUNNING!!! Hot mama! xx.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=587061798 Piarpreet Kaur

    you look great! no repelling involved but really sexy

  • Frances Coral

    I cannot wait for your book!!!

  • isabelle
  • zesiku

    AHAHAHA I LOVE YOUUUU!!!THANK YOU THANK YOU:) BTW AMAZING OUTFIT<33

    THE WORLD OF FASHION
    http://www.diamondsandspikes.com/

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/DR67OYEBI635GJQPIH7QPR3ZOQ Karin Huerta

    Hermosa!!! I love the jacket and the total look too!!Kisses from http://www.stylepicture.blogspot.com

  • konckingonfashionsdoor

    I love the way you front the inconvenients of life, being sarcastic but optimistic at the same time!!!!

  • valerie

    loving the white on white!

    thethirdcouture.com

  • anoushka

    In LOVE with your first picture, it reminds me of something out of i-D.

    http://the-style-obsessed.blogspot.com/

  • Kiah

    Aunt “FLO” sucks!! Period! I love that you are totally making the best of her visit..You look Stark white pants at any time is quite daring so hats off to you girl! Love the red lip and that jacket is to die for! You look fantastic!

    • Kiah

      Obviously I thought you looked REALLY fantastic which is why I was going to say it prior to the white pant comment but after I wrote it again at the end I tried to delete the same statement that was at the beginning. #totalfail

  • style-squared by z&m

    THE VAGINA MONOLOGUE THERE WAS TOUCHING BUT I CANNOT GET OVER HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS OUTFIT OF YOURS!!!!:)

    XX

    http://style-squared.blogspot.ca/

  • Jules

    Love your jacket !!

    http://www.julesfashionweek.com

  • Fabita Punk

    That jacket !

  • Isabel Calderon

    I. CAN’T. WAIT. FOR. YOUR. BOOK. You’re hilarious! :)

  • Fashion415.com

    It’s just too good and too honest. I love your fearlessness and sick humor.

  • Camilla Ackley

    well this made my life.

    xo Camilla

    Into The Fold

    p.s I started a youtube channel, check it out HERE

  • bean sprout

    you are such a babe

  • http://twitter.com/Alexa_Curtis Alexa Curtis

    Haha loveee this. Very modern and vintage/retro. Dig the white.

    http://www.alifeinthefashionlane.blogspot.com

    xo

  • Nelya

    God Bless You, you can wear white during the time of month. Xnel
    thegoldenringer.blogspot.com

  • Izabela

    You are so gorgeous! And a great writer. Brilliant!

    http://www.blogprimadonna.blogspot.com

  • Catherine and Greer

    I just read this whole article to figure out what the link between the photos and the topic of bleeding from your vagina was, only to discover that there pretty much was no link. Your basically just telling us “hey I got my period pretty much just then so i’m going to go put on some white pants and rock this mother fucker”. My favourite post yet.

    http://girl-hunting.blogspot.com.au

  • fashionablecollections

    these photos are gawgeous

    Collections

  • Bella

    hahahahahahaha

  • Nicole Cooper

    Two words: DAYUM GURL.

  • Courtney Straney

    Ah, I hear you! Speaking for all women – very very entertaining!

    boxces.blogspot.com.au

  • theunknownsisters

    Lovely jacket! take a look at our blog :)

    theunknownsisters.blogspot.com.es

  • Lace and Chiffon
  • Simone

    Hahaha, as always fantastic!!! Keep on writing, girl!

  • Belén Cavas Hernández
  • Sydney

    I’m PMSing right now, and I might have cried for some reason while reading this blogpost. You da best, gurl.

  • gretchen

    i would really like to be your best friend. i feel like your life is so much more awesome than everyone else’s in the world combined. you rock.

  • Valentina

    You are awesomeness to the max! Is it normal that when i don’t go online i’m suddenly urged to get my MR fix and star stalking you instagram,pinterest,twitter. I need toread you for your witty,smart and asshole remarks. Please become my bf.

  • Marián
  • disqus_Chxw1DKhMN

    I eally like your outfit, it makes me kind of jealous because I never dare to wear white when I have my periods…

    xx

    http://damlasdiary.blogspot.com/

  • streetstylemime

    I think its impossible not to like you..

    http://streetstylemime.blogspot.com/

  • lipglossandalcohol

    ah yes, take a walk on the wild side. periods and white pants, the ultimate feat.

    lipglossandalcohol.com

  • www.mlkbttl.com

    oh yes…….! tight white pants indeed, and lots and lots of chocolate………

  • Myreja

    you’re an amazing writer-I love your style and your sense of humor is brilliant

  • kirbybee

    I’m twelve hours in, and quite frankly white pants were the last thing on my mind. But having read this big rude finger salute to the crimson wave I’m feeling all empowered (and slightly pissed off but that’s less about your writing and more about my hormones), time to kit myself out in some whites. I’ll be all like do ya worst period, ya can’t touch me, I’m forcing the shit outta this self confidence and anyway I enjoy tie dye too.

  • Stephanie Uruena

    Amazing! “Made like Drake and YOLOed,” you are too much! Please, please, please write a book already, your style of writing is something I can only wish to have! xo

    http://www.stephanieamalia.blogspot.com

  • vittoria gallacci

    Love this post: so true but so funny to read! Love you!

    Vittoria

    http://vittoriafiveinthemorning.blogspot.it/

  • Deanna

    Dying. Damn Aunt Flo and her overstayed visits.

  • nororre de P&P
  • deluxshionist

    crack me!!! I never think that all the pure white outfits actually works with that cropped biker jakcet… will try some times

  • Jenny From Dosfamily.com

    Okay I know I said earlier that that was my last comment. But this is the last one, promise:. your blog makes me want to start my own fashionblog. I usually wear my pj´s all day (working from home) but you make me want to go outside and take fun and fab pictures of myself.

  • Manuela Coelho

    I love how funny, smart and cool you are at the same time! I wish i was your friend! Lol creepy i know, but i’ve always been a fan of the crazy ones! Keep up the good work, we love it! Beijos from Brazil!

  • http://twitter.com/bstylewise Brooke Wise

    i couldn’t resist reciting this entire post to my husband…we both laughed…out loud. amazing.

  • Aisha Jimoh

    I FREAKING ADORE YOU!!! :)

  • mimi

    You make Baggy eyes look hellass cool

    http://www.mimi-licious.com

  • http://www.dressmonsta.com/ Daul Be

    You’re too fierce for periods! <3

  • http://twitter.com/algoparaponerme Algo Para Ponerme

    Love the jacket!!! ; )

    xoxo

    http://www.algoparaponerme.blogspot.com.es

  • stylesays

    Fantastic Boots !!!
    http://stylesays.com

  • Shawnee Rajala

    you’re the best. i think i’ll start slowly though – from yogas to skinnies. haha

    for real though; i truly admire your intelligence and interesting thoughts, mixed with fantastic style. yes.

  • serene

    That once-a-month, week-long, punch in the ovaries from that bitch Penelope.

    (And yes, I did name my period after an ancient Greek king’s wife.)

  • http://www.EatStylePlay.com/ Eat.Style.Play

    Power of Social Media haha bringing me back to this funny article!

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