Funvesting in Fall
It’s a good thing Merriam didn’t ask for my help with her dictionaries, etc.
I like to buy things. Feckless throw pillows, shoes, groceries, sweaters, hardware–you name it, I want it. This becomes troubling when I’m faced with high price tags as my funds remain stagnant. But it’s no feat I haven’t championed already and having acquired great skill for conceptualizing payment plans and quickly calculating cost per wear, it’s too bad my new skills have been put to so little work this season.
Yes, I’ve mastered a new sort of talent, this one in which I walk into a department store, thoroughly study its offerings and in fleeting seconds: unapologetically exit, empty handed.
Am I becoming more fiscally responsible? Probably not. Have I just simply lost interest? No, this isn’t about me. Rather, it seems like everything that’s currently on display for purchase has already been on display for purchase and seemed more lucrative in its initial format, sometimes even on a sale rack, holding on to the last breaths of its standing novelties.
Where be the innovation? Have we become creatures of habit?
Garments like ripped jeans, denim and plaid blouses, bras to layers over t-shirts and warm tonal sweaters will always find appropriate reason to break into our closets but I’ve found this season that investing in a few pieces to wear with the aforementioned jeans, t shirts and sweaters is far more reasonable than, well, starting over. Some loose examples below.
A pair of white sneakers. White in particular because dreary dark outfits could use the proverbial weight loss at ankle length. They’re great with a velvet suit. I’m just saying.
And while they don’t have to be Golden Goose, the hidden magic of this brand is actually not magic, it’s just a very strategically hidden wedge. One only the trained eye could locate. Passersby would never know you were standing two inches taller, legs slightly narrower and there is value in that.
Or short booties. Sneakers aren’t for everyone but we can agree that we’ve all, at some point, got to walk, and ideally, with ease. How about a short heeled boot, perfect to pair with cropped peg leg jeans and an over-sized sweater. These particular ones are plaid and therefore add an additional facet to a plot I wish were just a little bit thicker.
In matters of the outerwear: you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not (the only one.) I’m aware that New York will get cold and a wool blazer will not suffice but I also refuse to accept it. Awareness and acceptance are fundamentally different things. I just wonder if you’ll bring me soup when I contract unseasonal dressing related illness.
I want to tell you the motorcycle jacket is dead but it’s not. It’s really, really not. I’d suggest if you’re still looking to invest in one, sticking to a more traditional color like, say, black (or red) seems more appropriate in terms of longevity than looking to a more trendy neon, or metallic version. Added bonus: rotating between a moto-silhouette and any blazer of your choosing will make maintaining the same blue jeans and white t-shirt (or sweater) profoundly easier.
Finally, in matters of the accessories. I’ve got a theory that holding minaudieres will force us to remove the excess contents from our purses and only take around what’s necessary: cash, credit, phone, condom, passport. Passport? Yes, I explained this. You never know when you’ll have to get up and get out…such is the mystery–and serendipity–of life.
Take the lucite Reece Hudson hard-shell photographed to the right of my tuna and salmon burgers, (I almost burnt my apartment down with those hazards but that’s a story for another time titled, “I Suck at Wife-ing but Rock at Aimless Talking”) or the three tone Pierre Hardy flap clutch just above it. These two in particular have taught me that shit is not as important as my larger totes have suggested they are. There’s also a necklace slung over my ice box because, why not? Why don’t you?
In conclusion, Microsoft fell three percent yesterday and if you’re wondering about the state of my eyelids, the left one is more swollen than the right one, making vision particular awkward. I don’t know if you know this, but I have a lazy eye and when it acts up, shit gets weird.