The alternative title read like this: shoes I would go gay for if shoes had genitals and those genitals resembled those of the feminine variety. Ultimately I decided on a four word rhyme that only functions as a rhyme if parenthesis are employed because a. it’s short b. if you are to implement a lisp it carries its own brand of quirk, c. a combination both a. and b. And that’s that. In this week’s installment of Shoesday, I take you on a really frivolous journey to lock down some summer sandals that are flat and comfortable and cool and most important of all, possess at least one function that begs I ponder the alternative title suggestion.
As it would happen though, a mosey around the internet for one strain of shoe turned into a collage that would feature a mixed bag of nuts, the kind that only fosters different country-harvested cashews, I mean shoes. You just let me know when that joke makes you want to kill yourself and I will cut it. Cut it, I tell ya. Snip. So instead, here are all the rad-ass shoes that will suggest you take a mortgage out on your home so that your feet can live life in the shoulder lane. I say shoulder because chances are you will have a hard time doing anything fast in some of these heels. Womp, womp, womp. From top left: LD Tuttle brown sandals, Alexander McQueen lace-up cognac flat sandals, Carven printed ankle strap flat sandals, Oscar de la Renta strappy mid heels, Repetto yellow flats, Ralph Lauren green lace-up platforms, Valentino glitter flats, Charlotte Olympia raffia wedges, Dolce and Gabbana striped open toe booties, Missoni blue sandals and, then some more Missoni, this time engaged in collaboration nation with Converse. So, what does thee say?