Met Ball Perusal

Leandra Medine | May 8, 2012

The last time I covered the Met Ball for Man Repeller was two years ago, the post was called “The Met Saw Many a Soft Peen Last Night,” and I think it was my fifth or sixth post in all time history. Last year I intended to do the same and perhaps give it a more concise title but as it happened, few dresses were elaborate and engaging enough–by the standards of my demented ambiguous style, at least–to warrant some incoherent prose. This year, however, the wheels of creativity, they are a’back in motion and for the sake of rehashing an old time phrase: my lady boner is in full swing. Ring, a ding, dong. Peep the below for a series of photos sectioned by teams, see: peplum pal, caped crusader, Lena Dunham x Hamish Bowles.

The caped crusaders: Bianca Brandolini and Lana del Rey in Dolce & Gabbana and Altuzarra respectively. There’s an air of resurrected Cleopatra about the blunt middle part and excessive sequin to the left, Hocus Pocus witch if that movie read more like Fifty Shades of Grey to the right. But can you smear matzah?

Peplum pals: Solange Knowles–a personal favorite human specimen and Elizabeth Banks bask in the glory of harvesting a fabric gut in yellow Rachel Roy and ambiguous(ly awesome) Mary Katranzou.

Feather fiends: Yesterday I tweeted that if I were going to the Met Ball, I’d have worn a live gorilla and called it “Interactive Prada,” what I did not know is that from the trenches of Alexander McQueen’s extensive closet, see: Cate Blanchett, and the same of Prada’s, see: Diane Kruger, the idea was already well into execution. On another note, one that is equally important as interactive couture: if my hair were purple, I’d likely skin myself so to replicate Kruger’s robe-de-nuit.

Well here’s a mixed bag of the nuts. Anja Rubik stands a thousand feet tall and her expression says this: Fuck the Angelina, this is the Anya. Go big or go home. To which I respond: I think I see your uterus. Oh, oh, wait, just kidding that’s actually the top of Christina Ricci’s dress. This could make pregnancy very awkward.

It ain’t an ensemble recap on The Man Repeller without important cameos by honorary dick deflector, Chloe Sevigny (at right)–though it must be said, she’s more mod hot chick with rad footwear in reflective Miu Miu than Book of Mormon in the photographed–and Coachella fairy turned McQueen cakeboss, Florence Welch. They say a picture is worth a thousand words so, insert caption here. I’m still trying to amount for the tiers of crushed dreams manifesting inside both myself and Welch’s couture. Does she feel what I feel? Florence, I speculate that we are like a mirror into each others souls. A mirror.

And at last, I’ve saved the best for, you know, last. The irony of this photo is that there is no sign of a fetal me exiting from the crevices of either Lena and Hamish’s legs, or somewhere between both right there wrapped in pink brocade and green satin. That was probably poor execution but what I mean is that if Hamish Bowles and Lena Dunham had a baby, I am pretty sure it would be me. And since Mother’s Day is right around the corner I will take the liberty of inviting Lena to lunch so we can celebrate her womanhood. They’re not paying me at all either. All adventurous women do. Girls terets, that’s what that is. The end.

  • Wandering Minds

    Oh erm oh dear, I'm not sure! Lana looks cool, also love Anja's dress but yea a bit too much uterus for my liking.

    Elisa Eymery

    Wandering Minds

  • Lia

    Chloe Sevigny IS a total dick deflector! its like the kid of a hairy vagina a christmas tree

    Glass of Fashion

  • Elise and Margot

    great post. Lana Del Rey looked great

    For Happy Days

  • Jan

    Lana looked amaizing!

  • kendall

    could be one of my favorite posts you have done L.


  • Fashion Dawgs

    Florence Welch was wearing McQueen not Givenchy.

  • Domonique Wilson

    There was a majority of strong, beautiful dress but this was also balanced with a number of horrendous creations that should not have left the design house. Loved Lana however, I thought the cape was particularly sophisticated!


  • Aurélie and Angelo
  • Bonnie,Clyde and Marni…..

    love this post!!!! lana is my fav!!

  • anna

    oh, and what about Marc Jacobs' outfit? I think it deserves a mention on this post…

  • Jessica Hardy

    I'm not sure how I feel about Elizabeth Bank's dress. It feels a touch erect penis to me… I do however much like Christina Ricci's dress. Would love to see a back shot!

  • Kelli

    regardless of who florence was wearing, she is a definite cakeboss. and interactive prada may be your best idea yet. trademark it, asap.

  • Samantha

    This is definitely my favorite post to date!

  • Stephanie Pulos

    Award goes to Lana.
    End of discussion

    Stephanies Style

  • Copper Etiquette

    There were some great, and not so great looks there;)


    Bianca Brandolini and Diane Kruger look RIDIC! Faves.

    Sea and Swank

  • Natasha Fatah

    Solange was my favourite.
    That girl always kills it!

    ~Natasha Fatah~
    ~Natasha Fatah~

  • Audrey

    Chloe Sevigny can do no wrong in my book! Love the dress!

  • alcessa

    It's simple, really: Florence is just one of your blog lurkers.

    I bet.

    Then again, if I could sing/look like her I'd wear crushed dreams of the whole universe on a single night, too.

    I guess.

  • FASHIONISMYWAY by Cristina L and Morphine Jude
  • SPYT

    can SOMEONE PLEASE tell me who makes hamish bowles' shoes?!?!?! i need them!

  • Neijah

    I LOVE the diversity in style! And I have to admit that Kruger's look is my fav!


  • Adelina Alexander

    You put a smile on my face every time I read your brilliant writing:)You made my day!! Again!!!

  • Gabrielle @ LookSharpSconnie

    This is when you're at your best. I could read these commentaries for years on end.


  • Izael Garrido

    Florence, Lana and Hamish were my favorites ! they look so chic

  • Lauren

    I'm in love with Girls and was surprised to see such a great dress from Lena.I love it! x

  • Natali

    January Jones, Karolina Kurkova, Marion Cotillard and Lily Collins were my favorites!

  • TripsTreasures

    I like the dresses ! I also did a post about my favorites on my blog
    new outfit post

  • modelovers
  • Nathan Moy

    there are both awesome and tragic things going on here! but it's good to see the bad stuff and the good ones cause u can compare notes. the nude christmas tree was just horrid, and so was the mirror one, r they seriously ok with that? i mean good job for getting attention, but u must be pretty desperate to go bad just to get judged and talked about…. lol loved the katranzo. but bad model… lol

    xx nathan.nice


  • A.O.

    Did you call Christina's dress a uterus?!? Bwahahaha! You are hilarious! I love The Met!

  • Creativity&Chocolate

    The dress worn by Anya is a little too much if you ask me. Angelina looked chique in her dress, I'm not sure if this is still chique…Love Lana del Ray, she looks stunning!

  • Anonymous

    Lana, Solange, Elizabeth, Kate and Diane look amaaazing in their unique and interesting choices. The rest are a big mess if you ask me. Ok, I forgive Anja because I don't care that we can see her uterus, she is an alien with those legs and they deserve to be shown haha. The bow on the back of Christina Ricci's dress is offensive, and not even in a good man repelling Yohji Yamamoto kind of way.

    On a completely, or maybe somewhat, unrelated note did anyone else see all the good stuff on the Outnet today? Thakoon dress, proenza bag etc, why can't you be mine 🙁

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, not Yohji but Junya. durrr

  • K

    Lana, Florence & Chloe <3

  • Romina C.

    I totally agree with you. It's always such a pleasure to read your blog. You write like no other, you show what you are, I love it.

    x Romi

  • Miss K

    Lana's is the lesser of all evils…

  • MonMode

    What a wide range… from fabulous to fugly!

  • Lydia

    Loved this. Best looks of the evening.

  • My Style

    OMG! Gwyneth Paltrow has started a new Red Carpet trend – the cape with the evening dress…All the dresses are amazing! It's hard to choice a favorite one! But hands down I HAVE TO SAY that I don't like the one of Anja Rubik, that pelvic sneaking out it's a little disturbing…


  • Sharon

    Solange looks gorgeous!

  • Elissa

    ugh why is Lana del Rey even relevant? After her crap performance on saturday night live I thought she'd just go away.

  • dictionary_of_fashion

    I like this yellow dress 🙂

    P.S. Enter my GIVEAWAY: and win a dress… 🙂

    P.P.S. Check out this post …you can get up to 60% discount on every purchase in MODOCAT online store, only with my code. 🙂

  • YoUngLiNgToN

    Seeing all these dresses is just so dreamy ! Love !

  • Closemyis

    Hahahah "I think I see your uterus. Oh, oh, wait, just kidding that's actually the top of Christina Ricci's dress" you're so fucking funny!


    I wish I was blonde, so purple could look that amazing on me tooo!


    Dick deflector, gold.


  • Ms.Fashionista

    Okay so I like love what everyone wore. But whoever was in that last shot looks really bad. Super unflattering. But on the other hand I'm digging the peplums and slits! Solange looks AMAZING!!!


  • Collections

    oh Solange.


  • Karissa

    I am a feather loving freak! Almost died over Diane Kruger, Cate Blanchett and Kate Bosworth's looks.

  • Audrey (hkittygirl)

    Elizabeth Bank's Mary Katrantzou is my favorite, but Florence Welch's dress is definitely the most impressive. 🙂

  • Jolie Jouel

    This was a hilarious recap. We're definitely seeing uterus there…

  • Sara.Eshak

    Florence's dress is amazing, i love Lana's too she look's like a Lolita queen

  • Mackenzie

    Im loving peplums!

  • Kate

    Such beautiful outfits! So much glamour & sequins… my heaven!

    Kate {Something Fabulous}

  • Clod

    everyday I like more and more your blog. congrats! laughing all the time while reading it!

  • matchalattewardrobe

    Oh my, all this leaves me skeptical.


  • Lydia

    Haha, you're so cool .. Lana del Rey looks like Snow White or something, love it! .. And Bianca Brandolini just sparkles like nothing else.. LOVE Solange Knowles' yellow dress (:

    – L

  • Mode French Place

    I like the blue dress 🙂 It's so chic and beautiful !

  • Angela Litterio

    LOVE your take on the 'Angelina' dress! I was LMAO when I read that! SO true! Will the 'leg' ever go away? Where will it poke out next? We actually picked some of the same styles on our blogs. I'm following you on Bloglovin' and will link you to my blog – couture and cannoli cafe.

  • LCM

    Some hits, some misses, some out-there ideas. Always fun to see the morning after pictures for the Met Gala.

  • Gita

    Wassup with the legs??


  • fashionlobster

    hahaha the uterus dress, that was harsh, but hilarious as always.
    I love the cape look, but I prefer Gwyneth Paltrow's all white cape dress during the Oscars, it looked way more modern

  • cppant

    ah hahahhah yes! pleazzz be bff with lena and guest on girls so i can laugh as harder than i ever have when the power of your forces combine. plz.

  • beautiful wallpapers

    this site is so beautiful.this site depend on met ball perusal.different types of clothes design are added on this site.i like this site.

  • Marie

    What does that actually mean? I don’t understand :0

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