Met Ball Perusal

by Leandra Medine
May 8, 2012
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The last time I covered the Met Ball for Man Repeller was two years ago, the post was called “The Met Saw Many a Soft Peen Last Night,” and I think it was my fifth or sixth post in all time history. Last year I intended to do the same and perhaps give it a more concise title but as it happened, few dresses were elaborate and engaging enough–by the standards of my demented ambiguous style, at least–to warrant some incoherent prose. This year, however, the wheels of creativity, they are a’back in motion and for the sake of rehashing an old time phrase: my lady boner is in full swing. Ring, a ding, dong. Peep the below for a series of photos sectioned by teams, see: peplum pal, caped crusader, Lena Dunham x Hamish Bowles.

The caped crusaders: Bianca Brandolini and Lana del Rey in Dolce & Gabbana and Altuzarra respectively. There’s an air of resurrected Cleopatra about the blunt middle part and excessive sequin to the left, Hocus Pocus witch if that movie read more like Fifty Shades of Grey to the right. But can you smear matzah?

Peplum pals: Solange Knowles–a personal favorite human specimen and Elizabeth Banks bask in the glory of harvesting a fabric gut in yellow Rachel Roy and ambiguous(ly awesome) Mary Katranzou.

Feather fiends: Yesterday I tweeted that if I were going to the Met Ball, I’d have worn a live gorilla and called it “Interactive Prada,” what I did not know is that from the trenches of Alexander McQueen’s extensive closet, see: Cate Blanchett, and the same of Prada’s, see: Diane Kruger, the idea was already well into execution. On another note, one that is equally important as interactive couture: if my hair were purple, I’d likely skin myself so to replicate Kruger’s robe-de-nuit.

Well here’s a mixed bag of the nuts. Anja Rubik stands a thousand feet tall and her expression says this: Fuck the Angelina, this is the Anya. Go big or go home. To which I respond: I think I see your uterus. Oh, oh, wait, just kidding that’s actually the top of Christina Ricci’s dress. This could make pregnancy very awkward.

It ain’t an ensemble recap on The Man Repeller without important cameos by honorary dick deflector, Chloe Sevigny (at right)–though it must be said, she’s more mod hot chick with rad footwear in reflective Miu Miu than Book of Mormon in the photographed–and Coachella fairy turned McQueen cakeboss, Florence Welch. They say a picture is worth a thousand words so, insert caption here. I’m still trying to amount for the tiers of crushed dreams manifesting inside both myself and Welch’s couture. Does she feel what I feel? Florence, I speculate that we are like a mirror into each others souls. A mirror.

And at last, I’ve saved the best for, you know, last. The irony of this photo is that there is no sign of a fetal me exiting from the crevices of either Lena and Hamish’s legs, or somewhere between both right there wrapped in pink brocade and green satin. That was probably poor execution but what I mean is that if Hamish Bowles and Lena Dunham had a baby, I am pretty sure it would be me. And since Mother’s Day is right around the corner I will take the liberty of inviting Lena to lunch so we can celebrate her womanhood. They’re not paying me at all either. All adventurous women do. Girls terets, that’s what that is. The end.

REPLIES
  • http://www.ourwanderingminds.com Wandering Minds

    Oh erm oh dear, I'm not sure! Lana looks cool, also love Anja's dress but yea a bit too much uterus for my liking.

    Elisa Eymery

    Wandering Minds

    http://www.ourwanderingminds.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10659735586043641198 ROULA
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11286149288842617111 Lia

    Chloe Sevigny IS a total dick deflector! its like the kid of a hairy vagina a christmas tree

    x
    Glass of Fashion

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07743445436045229956 Elise and Margot

    great post. Lana Del Rey looked great

    For Happy Days

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13479518547193747930 Jan

    Lana looked amaizing!

    iamjan.com
    iamjan.com

  • http://kendalldonaldson.ca kendall

    could be one of my favorite posts you have done L.
    brava.

    xo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15089103352911415231 Fashion Dawgs

    Florence Welch was wearing McQueen not Givenchy.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00697257277387298220 Domonique Wilson

    There was a majority of strong, beautiful dress but this was also balanced with a number of horrendous creations that should not have left the design house. Loved Lana however, I thought the cape was particularly sophisticated!

    http://lilylovelock.blogspot.co.uk

    x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06569563852426205282 Aurélie and Angelo
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15992012518203792325 Bonnie,Clyde and Marni…..

    love this post!!!! lana is my fav!!
    http://bonnieclydemarni.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14625802959152606446 anna

    oh, and what about Marc Jacobs' outfit? I think it deserves a mention on this post…

    http://brandnewbyanna.blogspot.com

  • http://storyboardwedding.com/ Jessica Hardy

    I'm not sure how I feel about Elizabeth Bank's dress. It feels a touch erect penis to me… I do however much like Christina Ricci's dress. Would love to see a back shot!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11669626718825090043 Kelli

    regardless of who florence was wearing, she is a definite cakeboss. and interactive prada may be your best idea yet. trademark it, asap.

    http://www.leopardandlavender.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18429643224029863094 Samantha

    This is definitely my favorite post to date!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13066994808170190992 Stephanie Pulos

    Award goes to Lana.
    End of discussion

    Stephanies Style

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10731480551178991637 Copper Etiquette

    There were some great, and not so great looks there;)
    SHOP DRESSES AT http://www.copperetiquette.com

  • http://seaandswank.com/ seaandswank.com

    Bianca Brandolini and Diane Kruger look RIDIC! Faves.

    Sea and Swank

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00200817566554453809 Natasha Fatah

    Solange was my favourite.
    That girl always kills it!

    xoxo
    ~Natasha Fatah~
    ~Natasha Fatah~

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00342113034957234129 Audrey

    Chloe Sevigny can do no wrong in my book! Love the dress!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04449219751306791459 alcessa

    It's simple, really: Florence is just one of your blog lurkers.

    I bet.

    Then again, if I could sing/look like her I'd wear crushed dreams of the whole universe on a single night, too.

    I guess.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05876142177464748175 FASHIONISMYWAY by Cristina L and Morphine Jude
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03806839983726703234 SPYT

    can SOMEONE PLEASE tell me who makes hamish bowles' shoes?!?!?! i need them!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03683836263018672829 Neijah

    I LOVE the diversity in style! And I have to admit that Kruger's look is my fav!

    xoxo,

    http://www.thelookandlisten.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17148111062292591902 Adelina Alexander

    You put a smile on my face every time I read your brilliant writing:)You made my day!! Again!!!
    xoxo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17850634239551807303 Gabrielle @ LookSharpSconnie

    This is when you're at your best. I could read these commentaries for years on end.

    -Gabrielle

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05567221896875386435 Izael Garrido

    Florence, Lana and Hamish were my favorites ! they look so chic

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03184135634580742057 Lauren

    I'm in love with Girls and was surprised to see such a great dress from Lena.I love it! x

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00658307537388232224 Natali

    January Jones, Karolina Kurkova, Marion Cotillard and Lily Collins were my favorites!

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08813269203887879585 TripsTreasures

    I like the dresses ! I also did a post about my favorites on my blog

    http://www.tripsandtreasures.net
    new outfit post

  • http://www.modelovers.com modelovers
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16470560341150718917 Nathan Moy

    there are both awesome and tragic things going on here! but it's good to see the bad stuff and the good ones cause u can compare notes. the nude christmas tree was just horrid, and so was the mirror one, r they seriously ok with that? i mean good job for getting attention, but u must be pretty desperate to go bad just to get judged and talked about…. lol loved the katranzo. but bad model… lol

    xx nathan.nice

    -FIND YOUR NICHE-
    http://style-niche.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12543099260457478005 A.O.

    Did you call Christina's dress a uterus?!? Bwahahaha! You are hilarious! I love The Met!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16288432619173575521 Creativity&Chocolate

    The dress worn by Anya is a little too much if you ask me. Angelina looked chique in her dress, I'm not sure if this is still chique…Love Lana del Ray, she looks stunning!

    http://www.creativityandchocolate.blogspot.com

  • Anonymous

    Lana, Solange, Elizabeth, Kate and Diane look amaaazing in their unique and interesting choices. The rest are a big mess if you ask me. Ok, I forgive Anja because I don't care that we can see her uterus, she is an alien with those legs and they deserve to be shown haha. The bow on the back of Christina Ricci's dress is offensive, and not even in a good man repelling Yohji Yamamoto kind of way.

    On a completely, or maybe somewhat, unrelated note did anyone else see all the good stuff on the Outnet today? Thakoon dress, proenza bag etc, why can't you be mine :(

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, not Yohji but Junya. durrr

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01832253017306031444 K

    Lana, Florence & Chloe <3

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06502998148007689018 Romina C.

    I totally agree with you. It's always such a pleasure to read your blog. You write like no other, you show what you are, I love it.

    x Romi
    http://blaastyle.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08784047289138430006 Miss K

    Lana's is the lesser of all evils…

  • http://www.monmodegethooked.com MonMode

    What a wide range… from fabulous to fugly!

    http://www.monmodegethooked.com
    @HookedOnMonMode

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06841237588940938787 Lydia

    Loved this. Best looks of the evening.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02903640722114840583 My Style

    OMG! Gwyneth Paltrow has started a new Red Carpet trend – the cape with the evening dress…All the dresses are amazing! It's hard to choice a favorite one! But hands down I HAVE TO SAY that I don't like the one of Anja Rubik, that pelvic sneaking out it's a little disturbing…

    xoxo
    Mady

    thegirlfromthemirror.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12186901125870069099 Sharon

    Solange looks gorgeous!

    http://style-chameleon.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.professionallypetite.com Elissa

    ugh why is Lana del Rey even relevant? After her crap performance on saturday night live I thought she'd just go away.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02853753997297949718 dictionary_of_fashion

    I like this yellow dress :)

    P.S. Enter my GIVEAWAY: http://dictionaryoffashion.blogspot.com/2012/04/my-first-giveaway.html and win a dress… :)

    P.P.S. Check out this post http://dictionaryoffashion.blogspot.com/2012/04/modocat-discount-code.html …you can get up to 60% discount on every purchase in MODOCAT online store, only with my code. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10418547238996143646 YoUngLiNgToN

    Seeing all these dresses is just so dreamy ! Love !

    http://www.younglington.wordpress.com

  • Closemyis

    Hahahah "I think I see your uterus. Oh, oh, wait, just kidding that's actually the top of Christina Ricci's dress" you're so fucking funny!

  • JJHJHJ

    I wish I was blonde, so purple could look that amazing on me tooo!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15781194660847880001 JAYNE

    Dick deflector, gold.

    x
    jayne

    http://www.blamejayne.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00895152914452877928 Ms.Fashionista

    Okay so I like love what everyone wore. But whoever was in that last shot looks really bad. Super unflattering. But on the other hand I'm digging the peplums and slits! Solange looks AMAZING!!!

    http://www.alifeinthefashionlane.blogspot.com

    xo

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18359692445710227141 Collections

    oh Solange.

    Collections

  • http://theautumnissue.com Karissa

    I am a feather loving freak! Almost died over Diane Kruger, Cate Blanchett and Kate Bosworth's looks.

    http://theautumnissue.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15235755566305774338 Audrey (hkittygirl)

    Elizabeth Bank's Mary Katrantzou is my favorite, but Florence Welch's dress is definitely the most impressive. :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11769939213130551257 Jolie Jouel

    This was a hilarious recap. We're definitely seeing uterus there…

    joliejouel.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08383140511912189736 Sara.Eshak

    Florence's dress is amazing, i love Lana's too she look's like a Lolita queen

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07279516877124783976 Mackenzie

    Im loving peplums!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10909683018951592597 Kate

    Such beautiful outfits! So much glamour & sequins… my heaven!

    Kate {Something Fabulous}
    http://thesomethingfabulous.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08973934552375167055 Clod

    everyday I like more and more your blog. congrats! laughing all the time while reading it!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15901568084463124376 matchalattewardrobe

    Oh my, all this leaves me skeptical.

    htpp://matchalattewardrobe.blogspot.com

  • http://www.aidylpaidyl.blogg.no Lydia

    Haha, you're so cool .. Lana del Rey looks like Snow White or something, love it! .. And Bianca Brandolini just sparkles like nothing else.. LOVE Solange Knowles' yellow dress (:

    - L

  • http://www.french-place.com/ Mode French Place

    I like the blue dress :) It's so chic and beautiful !

  • http://www.coutureandcannolicafe.com Angela Litterio

    LOVE your take on the 'Angelina' dress! I was LMAO when I read that! SO true! Will the 'leg' ever go away? Where will it poke out next? We actually picked some of the same styles on our blogs. I'm following you on Bloglovin' and will link you to my blog – couture and cannoli cafe.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01699780245394853535 LCM

    Some hits, some misses, some out-there ideas. Always fun to see the morning after pictures for the Met Gala.

    http://www.one-daysome-day.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04061177077305996826 Gita

    Wassup with the legs??

    xx
    http://gita-oddsandends.blogspot.com/

  • http://fashionlobster.wordpress.com/ fashionlobster

    hahaha the uterus dress, that was harsh, but hilarious as always.
    I love the cape look, but I prefer Gwyneth Paltrow's all white cape dress during the Oscars, it looked way more modern

  • cppant

    ah hahahhah yes! pleazzz be bff with lena and guest on girls so i can laugh as harder than i ever have when the power of your forces combine. plz.

  • beautiful wallpapers

    this http://www.manrepeller.com site is so beautiful.this site depend on met ball perusal.different types of clothes design are added on this site.i like this site.

  • Marie

    What does that actually mean? I don’t understand :0