Friday, May 11, 2012

Cool Bed Wears

…Provided your compass of bed wear and my compass of bed wear are on par with one anothers, which is to say lingerie is for freaks but leather jackets are not. And the parameters of what is cool are still yet to be determined but I don’t think this sentiment will ever have a real answer except when referring to climate conditions. And cool weather does also, after all, call for a leather jacket. But have you ever supposed one in bed? I hadn’t either but then an idea struck that involved the reversion of innerwear as outerwear and at last, proverbial light bulbs went off. Why should velvet slippers and negligees have the opportunity to exacerbate greatness both over and under the sheets when items like The-capital-T alpha leather jacket only get to exhaust the over-portion. That’s bullshit, my friends. So here’s to motorcycle-ready snoozing.

In photo one, I lay upon a well-made bed clad in orange Jonathan Adler pillows that clash with my wears but not with my wrist, looking at a camera as though my home and three children are being profiled for some sort of publication of any pretentious variety. That is however, most certainly not the case and I was more smiley, giggly, haha, because, well, the bed is a fun-ass place. See below.

I can somersault. Crouching tiger, hidden forehead, palazzo track pants–two tone.

I can offer the offensive and in-your-face thumbs up sprinkled over a small dose of stiffness. In part faulted at my scoliosis, but mostly, leather is stiff, people. Actually, mostly, I have scoliosis. Hash tag very awkward.

And, finally, the gesticulated bi-faux-cals in leather, in bed. Take a snooze in your clothes. It will make getting ready the following morning a lot easier. A lot, people. Muy. Acne jacket, By Malene Birger blouse, see: 25Park, Elizabeth and James pants, Dannijo jewelry and that’s it, that’s all I’ve got for you clowns.

Do you appreciate the irony that comes with my calling you a clown? I sho’hope so. Photos by Naomi Shon.

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