They say a bracelet goes a long way. Just kidding, I’ve never heard that but even if it were a saying, I’d imagine it pertained exclusively to those of the wrapped variety. Lucky fo’us, we are dissecting just that in today’s round of Investment Piece. I speculate this one makes a bit more sense than say, the bright yellow mini skirt slash makeshift peplum did. Even so, calculating cost per wear is a fun game. I’ll take this a step further and share an anecdote that drove my father to conclude it costs him $20 a day just to get dressed for work. Nevermind the former half of that sentence, feed from the moral. On to the photographed: you probably look at this and think, bracelet. You aren’t wrong.
That’s how the accessory is sold: as a bracelet. Contemplate the notion of its length though. Shouldn’t a triple wrap bracelet function as say, an ankle bracelet or double wrap choker or single wrap belt? Indeed, today I prove the once dubbed extranoeous $290 spent on a measly bracelet can actually take you fairly far in matters of limbs that party.
It all started one weekday afternoon when a sartorial craving for adorned ankles reared its head. This was before fashion week, I’d taken note of the early integration of ankle straps and cuffs to shoes and fell upon this bracelet resting on my arm in a manner not unlike the above photographed. I unbuckled that shit and began to experiment. It worked most perfectly, eureka. This then got me thinking: where else can I insert this little guy.
So I attempted to choke myself and much to my pleasure: failed. All I’d successfully done, you see, was emulate the contents of Charlotte Ronson’s Spring/Summer collection, Nina Ricci’s pre-fall collection, the nineties at large. Chokers are having their moment again, grab life by the aorta. Then finally, the bracelet took me to my waist line.
Now, I understand this method of wrap is a little ambiguous and perhaps not all that reasonable for everyone but bare in mind I wrapped this shit around the skinniest spot I could find in the stomach region. Breaths weren’t particularly easy to take.
But the general vibe felt right. Do also note these photographs were shot a mere two weeks before the inception of New York Fashion Week. The salute to peplum should feel a lot more genuine once that soundbite is successfully consumed. And on to the fun part, calculations! Figure you wear the initial Hermes accessory twenty five times as a bracelet, fifteen times as an ankle bracelet, ten times as a choker and once as a belt–you know, for the sake of maintaining good health–that’s a collective fifty one wears which ultimately leaves the bracelet standing at $5 per wear. Those are rough numbers, you’ll likely wear it more and that means that by the end of your day, Hermes is practically paying you. See that, man repellers always win.