Holy moly me oh my. With just two days before the official commencement of the best week of the year, you know, after Rosh Hashanna, I think it’s time I post my pre-Fashion Week get ready for the week with a billion layers post. Because February fashion week was the first one I experienced as a blog writer, this isn’t exactly tradition so much as it is a second blog post that follows suit. You’ll like it though, trust me. There are cut out mini squares involved. Unfortunately they do not open up into Laduree macarons but I may or may not have just given a bunch of designer readers a million dollar idea, eh? Eh? Now onto the clothes, as you know, the end of this week marks the beginning of the next round of The Man Repeller Olympics, where more is more is more is more and the ongoing mantra reads: if it feels wrong, it looks right.Let’s exercise our power and get this show on the roady road road with some little ol’steps.
Step 1: Pick the right dress
Oh, you look like a suicidal ballerina with flying cut-outs? Fantastic.
Step 2: Layer yourself smart
While yesterday and today’s stupid inclement weather may suggest otherwise, it is still summer for a few more weeks. This means your knits and wool pants have no place joining the rank just yet. I take the part about knits back though. Pile that shit on should you so wish to.
Step 3: When I say layer smart, I mean it
See, look. This component is all about adding without exerting too much force or heat on to yourself. Throw the forecast a bone. Try a bustier in its only man repellant formation: over your t shirt.
Step 4: The outerwear
Denim has this magical ability to casualize nearly everything and you don’t want to be that asshole dressed for a wedding while gazing at the fountain by Lincoln Center, oh no you don’t. So try your hand at some chambray or hard denim, but don’t be too generic about it…which brings me to Step Number 5:
Get creative with your outerwear
With say, extra-large houndstooth. Additional repeller points granted to those who can pop a collar and quasimoto-it-up simultaneously. This is an art, people. An art.
Step 6: Statement heels
And so of course I run, not walk, to my superhero shoes. Foot capes are really the best invention since electricity. Even if they do deform my feet. I guess if you weren’t repelled before, you sure as cacadoodoo are now! If only, if only, they properly worked as wings.
Once this step is complete, smile and then do a crazy dance implementing your MR DANNIJO Kristin bolo necklace while double fisting arm parties with your Wiig cuffs.
Can I get a yee-haw? Vive le self promotion!
Step 7: Accessories are not excessivies.
That was a cute little rhyme, no? Polish off the look with something bright. You know, to match your cutie patutie personality.
[Insert hug here, cut to conclusion]
Alright now, here’s your bi-annual chance to hop in a cab and wish your Sikh driver a happy fashion week a la perfectly wrapped turban. Seize it…seize it well.