The Sheer Tent: A Story

As it happens, hurricane Irene is rearing her ugly head toward New York come weekend and while it’s really cramping summer style, there’s only one thing one can do in an uncontrollable situation not unlike the one at hand and that is: bask in the now, where the sun still shines and my sartorial tent will still moon you. Today this blog takes a turn for the imaginative where in a very slight effort I try to implement my college education and instead of just simply feeding information about the photos below, I create a narrative. Think: “The Puppy That Lost it’s Way,” but with better clothes. And a different story line. You know what, you can just forget that, let’s get started.

 
dress: Blak, shoes: Dries van Noten, arm party: DANNIJO
Once upon a time there was a girl. Her name was Leandra but she preferred being called “The Man Repeller” because as it happens the longer she referred to herself as such, the more people liked her. Yes it’s true, she had a knack for bribery. One that offered her friendship in exchange for bad jokes. Hey, whatever works. Anyway, she took a photo in a park that read slightly depressing as fallen leaves had been a tell-tale sign that autumn may have been fairly close. And while there’s nothing wrong with fall, she just wasn’t ready to let summer go. This isn’t important though, it’s about the clothing. On this day, she forgot the leaves and instead embraced her sheer tent dress. With a black bra and pair of high waist biker shorts she went on her jolly way until she fell upon an assembly of construction workers. They howled, she felt defeated.
And now, using a literary technique I call: failing an English class, we switch to the first person: ...So I ran away. But then I heard one say to another “that was weird,” and all was right with the world again.
So instead I walked and smiled, walked and smiled. Looked back when necessary but mainly just walked and smiled. There were benches.
AND THEN! I met this big ol’ critter, he was so fall chic color blocking white and grey with his little Alexa Chung long bob. We made really fast friends and bonded over a shared love for contrasting foot colors.
So we posed, and posed and giggled and posed. And I got slightly upset because he had better posture than me but nonetheless I sucked it up and continued to hang out with him as a service to mankind. After all, our outfits did compliment each other quite well. But then…

He went straight up kookoo, like out of the bird’s nest kookoo. Seeing as I’m already kookoo, there was simply no room for the two of us in this proverbial and literal frame any longer. And that was the end of that. The End!

…Now, would you say this narrator was: A. Unreliable B. Reliable C. Manipulative D. Things that look like vaginas?

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Thoughts?
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12269269062742054438 Jenny

    i love the layering detail of your dress!

    Jenny xx

    http://ladolcevita-jenny.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.closetcravings.com Closet Cravings
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15901568084463124376 matchalattewardrobe

    I'd swear the dog's smiling too!
    Love your shoes (and his!)

    http://matchalattewardrobe.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05882333911932324281 blue roses

    i took a variety of fiction writing workshops at university; this is awful, but the clothing is incredible and well styled.

    so well done!

    also, puppy alexa chung is adorable! so chic… and thin! (psych…..)

    http://dallianceswithsuitsandskirts.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11346329784441168538 ML

    D. Thing that look like vaginas

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14194815440194123998 CupcakesOMG!

    things that look like vaginas!

    CupcakesOMG!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12069426957408106950 Kimberly

    D! love this really great photos you always make me laugh! love those shoes!

    http://kc-citystyle.blogspot.com/

  • http://openid.aol.com/patworfka143 PattyP

    It SUCKS that the one weekend I go to NY this year is the ONE WEEKEND that a storm hits. I barely missed it in Miami and Im def getting it up in your hood!

  • Anya

    haha i have to stop reading your stuff at work i always laugh out loud with such vigor it's clear i'm being useless on company time… but in all for-realsies keep it up! love your humor grrrl

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15352458274492211995 Andrea

    Love the sheer layers, they're so pretty. That dog is so funny, love him, he looks like he's wearing a grey jumper!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14168029884391063366 Adéla S.

    The dress is amazing, doesn't seem very manrepelling though.

  • http://onedaywillow.blogspot.com Prudence

    Yes! Billy Madison quote! Awesome!

  • Patricia

    D. Things that look like vaginas!

    LOL

    :'D @ «he was so fall chic color blocking white and grey with his little Alexa Chung long bob»

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17926676963361210046 Style Dilettante

    You're hilarious! Color-blocked dog…

    http://www.inherentstylela.com/

  • Anna

    The answer is always D.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12759545260010101486 The PvdH Journal

    Oh my goodness!!! I had the same dog in my childhood! (well not the SAME one, but you catch my drift). My faithful childhood companion (only child syndrome here). Alas, have a 5 month cocker spaniel now (small London flat).

    And now that I am done ranting about my dogs, you look gorgeous in the first photograph. The dress with the shoes are just perfect.

    PvdH

    http://www.ThePvdHJournal.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17307750287416918321 Closet Fashionista

    HAHA! I looove this story!!! Stupid construction workers, haha…luckily I have never been hooted at, so I guess I am a good man repeller! :D
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01803755010382675829 Sheva

    You are a weird one, my friend. And I love it! I'm still awkwardly chuckling at my desk.

    http://www.westnative.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01018559049239753554 libby

    hahaha great story! cute dog and cute shoes!

    style-extraordinaire.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14847029714989062215 songbird

    awesome shoes!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07048798293699015917 Patricia Paramo

    i looooved your city!!! I was there for the weekend and fell in love with it!

    is that central park right?? loved shake shack…delish!

    http://www.brunetteletters.com/

  • http://tiffsbloggy.com tiff

    From the Bloglovin default picture, I thought you had gotten your hair cut pixie short, haha.

    Also, that last picture is truly my favorite. The dog looks like it's out of control.

  • Anonymous

    that dress is gorgeous and you got balls for wearing it sheer lady! divine shoes :)

  • Anonymous

    you are so very funny
    love your story girl!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03961268464458851788 Superblondeep

    lovely dog!

  • http://the-reddot.com Al

    When I'll stop laughing I'll write you proper comment.
    Maybe.

    You're a genius

    Al

    -The Red Dot-

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05677601097693058433 augustalolita

    love your shoes!! and cute dog <3

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00734559891051679865 Onyeka Uddoh

    Haha I love it, very chic

    http://theowlsvision.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07019179095730808204 Laura

    omg what a lovely dress/look! It's absolutely wonderful!!!!

    xxx

    falsedestination.blogspot.com

  • Anne Marie

    I love your dress and your shoes, you are beautiful in this public garden, like a flower!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18359692445710227141 Collections
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03162649662045736566 mi rincon fashion

    Your dress is so beautiful¡¡

    mirinconfashion.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01514627554329642237 Vasilieva

    loved this dress, amazing romantic vibe

    http://elenavasilieva.blogspot.com/
    x

  • Anonymous

    E. All of the above, and hilarious!

    Love your story! Thanks for making me laugh :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03394947638036945392 Camilla

    That dress is amazing, but the dog is stealing the show here.
    so freaking adorable.

    xo Camilla

    http://www.intothefoldfashion.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11133983440488677720 Sheila

    hahaha loved the story! and that dress!!

    http://shayyyyy.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08813269203887879585 Trips & Treasures

    hmm definately a sheer dress

    But I love the shoes !!! cool you are wearing some belgian design :)

    http://www.tripsandtreasures.blogspot.com
    new outfit post !

  • http://twitter.com/melissah528 Melissa

    I've read this post, like, four times today because, A) it's friggen hilarious; and B) there's a big funny sheepdog in it. Bravo.

  • Justyna

    I fucking love you. You are the best thing that could happen to humanity.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09346080419558048262 antonela*

    love the dog, and your smile is so perfect

  • http://mstwirlyskirts.com Molliee

    love this post! I like the dress too!

    http://mstwirlyskirts.com

  • Anonymous

    Enough with the cute prop dogs in your photo shoots, okay?

    To really REALLY repel dudes, you really ought to consider posing with MY TWO GERBILS SOMETIME ….

    =^..^=

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08956852147180339499 Laura Corradi

    i just love your shoes and what a big cute dog!
    xx
    Laura
    http://www.petalasepaetes.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/18389068555743575226 Susan

    Seriously, there are days your posts make my entire day. This is one of them.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14227790770455857624 The Fancy Teacup

    C. Manipulative. I think you just won me over with your clever narrative bribery!

    The dog with his Alexa Chung mane makes such a perfect companion. But the transparent dress steals the show.

    ♥, Jamie
    http://www.TheFancyTeacup.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04392538306781168379 Elegantly Wasted

    Holy mother of God those shoes are TO DIE FOR! Absolutely love them!

    X

    http://www.elegantlywastedd.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02519698402172986651 Andie Bottrell

    I WANT THAT DOG> NOW.

  • http://tulasifichter.com TF

    nice dog and nice dress!

    check out my fresh new blog!!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10347382567515486601 Natalie Leung

    very sweet outfit!

    your dog is extra cute as well :)

    natalie
    http://lucyandtherunaways.blogspot.com

  • Anonymous

    Why are you so beautiful?! Love the outfit and the pooch!

    Stay fun!

  • http://neknekenken.blogspot.com/ neknekenken

    Ooooh. What a lovely dress. I love sheer fabrics, but if I wore that one I might wear more underneath.

  • Anonymous

    You crack me up! I just laughed out loud about the dog losing it! Love your blog.
    Ramona

  • Anonymous

    all of the above! more narratives! haha youre hilair.

  • http://www.delbame.blogspot.com Delaney

    I inlove with your shoes….and I don't fall easy. Lovely dress too!

    Your dog is too cute<3

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05896943075888739935 The Eye Behind the Detail

    Being a former writing major, I would say that you played well with the styles, as in the writing and the sartorial. I always stuck to the rule that the rules of the narrative were made to be broken. Sooo…lovely story, pretty dog, and gorgeous dress.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12803597155110452257 Kerrin

    i am DYING laughing. absolutely love this. you go girl.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/08992509552174806504 Kristin

    That was the best story ever. Unreliable narrators tell the funniest stories!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07176835651183193830 style sidewalk

    i am seriously needing your dress. styled to perfection every.time. !!

    xxx andie

    http://stylesidewalk.blogspot.com/

  • Anonymous

    HAHAHA, you are sooo witty!! Yeah, it's totally D=Things that look like vaginas!!
    Jeez, so immature!!! Grow up, seriously, grow the fuck up!!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13114543023599676581 JAKARECH

    this is hilarious! i love your blog!

    http://cestclassique.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07650486939448955178 lucia m
  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16645816083163618975 Kate

    Love the shape of your dress! Great blog!
    http://www.styleisalwaysfashionable.blogspot.com

  • http://www.thefashionguitar.com thefashionguitar

    Cute dress, gorgeous shoes

    XO Charlotte
    http://www.thefashionguitar.com

  • http://rocknrealprincess.blogspot.com/ loubehr

    wooowww that dress is something !!!! I love the see through effect !!!

    http://rocknrealprincess.blogspot.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03429968469338580701 Cristiana Nunes

    Love this outfit's colour palette!

  • http://www.astridtilea.com Astrid Tirlea

    you know it's the D. oops, maybe I wasn't supposed to say it?…:-s
    and YES, hell yes, the dog's beautiful bob cut does remind me of someone…:)) I will probably think it's funny tomorrow too.

    love,
    Astrid

  • http://raspberry-rouge.com Raspberry & Rouge

    It is such a cute dress you're wearing! Fab layers, so feminime! XO Rebecca http://raspberry-rouge.com

  • http://openid.aol.com/chubbyfifi chubbyfifi

    The story got a LITTLE better towards the end but the opening was just…a downer..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/00236420927448153039 Nuar

    Hey, girl! I loved your blog, coveted your Dries', and laughed with your story! You have an hilarious pen and a beautiful smile. Keep going! BTW, if you wanna take a look at my blog, it's: http://nuarbarcat.blogspot.com/. Greetings from Buenos Aires, María José

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/15549928469594756471 Isabella

    I love the shoes and the dress!! I love the flowy look it has to it. It sort of reminds me of Taylor Swift! Lovely dog by the way!!! :)

    http://labluegirllabluegirl.blogspot.com

  • http://abegailbarriosdesigns.blogspot.com Abegail Barrios Designs

    Has to be D!

    I giggled the whole way through and loved every minute! I especially loved when the girl ran away from the evil howling construction workers! Stay away! I sometimes yell– STRANGER DANGER and dash as well!

    Enjoy the last bit of summer!

    Love Abby

  • ashley

    I SEE ASS AND TITTIES!!! come on, MAN REPELLER! you're off your game on this one…

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06841237588940938787 Lydia

    Very lovely story, darling. I was on the edge of my seat.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04647722694828342861 WWW.PRINCESSRED.COM

    Love this! awesome dress!!

    Check my blog out at http://www.princessred.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13579934926599278588 MissLauraHueto

    Hmm… Well, I'd say a combination of all of them, with a sprinkle of fairy dust. ;) May I say how AMAZING I think your outfit to be in this post? (If that's even a sentence…) :D

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10457447047664627977 geri hirsch

    LMAO. Tootles!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/12347329353442093349 Michelle Lee

    love this look!

    pinklemonincrystal.blogspot.com

  • http://www.b-adore.com Aaron

    D. lol hilarious post.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03245585246728339165 Contact

    those shoes are to die for and the dog is a great accessory ; )

    http://heelsandinspiration.blogspot.com

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/13536743706926717478 lopezjennylopez

    So funny, I would exchange my friendship for bad jokes as welll!

  • http://sequinharvest.com/ sequinharvest

    i love that pup!

    http://sequinharvest.com/

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03443690534428400890 Carolina Bernardo

    The dog is awesome!!! Love it =)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09469022612541403440 3 sisters
  • Samantha

    Sometimes your candid faces literally make my day.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17605927743984343221 Kayla Michelle Shipman

    Your shoes are so fabulous! I love how you man repel in such a fabulously chic way!

  • http://lifeinleopardprint.wordpress.com/ lifeinleopardprint

    I love your blog very entertaining :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/11351905520648059439 Anna Lilian

    Please compile of book of all your (best) works!! You are one of the few people that make me laugh aloud (because I hate "lol") when I read their work. I just came across your blog, and I'm now subscribed and I think you're brilliant. I must admit I'm not a fan of all your selections, but they are enjoyable to imagine amongst my wardrobe, and it's your passion and wit that keep me coming back. Stay fabulous, it looks good on you!

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