As it happens, hurricane Irene is rearing her ugly head toward New York come weekend and while it’s really cramping summer style, there’s only one thing one can do in an uncontrollable situation not unlike the one at hand and that is: bask in the now, where the sun still shines and my sartorial tent will still moon you. Today this blog takes a turn for the imaginative where in a very slight effort I try to implement my college education and instead of just simply feeding information about the photos below, I create a narrative. Think: “The Puppy That Lost it’s Way,” but with better clothes. And a different story line. You know what, you can just forget that, let’s get started.
Once upon a time there was a girl. Her name was Leandra but she preferred being called “The Man Repeller” because as it happens the longer she referred to herself as such, the more people liked her. Yes it’s true, she had a knack for bribery. One that offered her friendship in exchange for bad jokes. Hey, whatever works. Anyway, she took a photo in a park that read slightly depressing as fallen leaves had been a tell-tale sign that autumn may have been fairly close. And while there’s nothing wrong with fall, she just wasn’t ready to let summer go. This isn’t important though, it’s about the clothing. On this day, she forgot the leaves and instead embraced her sheer tent dress. With a black bra and pair of high waist biker shorts she went on her jolly way until she fell upon an assembly of construction workers. They howled, she felt defeated.
And now, using a literary technique I call: failing an English class, we switch to the first person: ...So I ran away. But then I heard one say to another “that was weird,” and all was right with the world again.
So instead I walked and smiled, walked and smiled. Looked back when necessary but mainly just walked and smiled. There were benches.
AND THEN! I met this big ol’ critter, he was so fall chic color blocking white and grey with his little Alexa Chung long bob. We made really fast friends and bonded over a shared love for contrasting foot colors.
So we posed, and posed and giggled and posed. And I got slightly upset because he had better posture than me but nonetheless I sucked it up and continued to hang out with him as a service to mankind. After all, our outfits did compliment each other quite well. But then…
He went straight up kookoo, like out of the bird’s nest kookoo. Seeing as I’m already kookoo, there was simply no room for the two of us in this proverbial and literal frame any longer. And that was the end of that. The End!
…Now, would you say this narrator was: A. Unreliable B. Reliable C. Manipulative D. Things that look like vaginas?