Tuesday, May 10, 2011

If the Internets Were My Closet: Fruit is So Right Now

photo by Tommy Ton for Style.com 

Adam and Eve were on to something with that forbidden fruit. In what is perhaps the most Rachel Zoe friendly trend to surface for spring, something is finally literally bananas. And if Prada, Stella McCartney, Erdem and Dolce & Gabanna’s runways are an indication of anything, it won’t stop at bananas. Fruit! That’s what’s up. Because I haven’t yet quite figured out how to get the look at a feasible price point, (though I should here note, I am known to DIY with props that include cut up fruit worn across my nipples and hoo-ha a la Bible rock,) I thought my recent obsessive fixation on the trend would work well as a more aspirational post. Yes sure, the neon runways are cool. But are they edible? I think not.

Prada, Stella McCartney. S/S 2011
D&G.; S/S 2011

You may be scratching your head in confusion trying to decode the correlation between fruit and the look above look. The jig is up though, there are no edible features to this particular outfit. There is, however, something to be said about the cohesiveness and togetherness with the former runways, depicted in these pants. It’s like D&G; created the palazzos to double as a picnic blanket for his good friends Miuccia & Stella. Forget bracelets for a moment because if that’s not real friendship, I don’t know what is.

And as for your feet…
 
Charlotte Olympia has you fed.

At the end of the day, in matters of man repelling, nothing says “eat me” quite like some sartorial food.

And now, if the internets were my closet, this is what I’d be wearing while I strutted down the street, saluting the fruit stand man, nodding my head at him in a gesture that suggests perpetual unity.

Your fruit are my fruit, friend. And as for my fruit? Sorry buddy, they’re runway.

Let’s get dressed.

From top left: A creamy Carven jacket to heat my loins.
3.1. Phillip Lim‘s peplum blouse to add a little bit of sweet cinnamon to this here food chain.
Dries Van Noten watermelon sunglasses with blueberry lenses. I may or may not be taking this theme too far. I’m going with may not though.
Acne booties, because they’re chic, comfortable and durable as dung. Is dung durable?
Stella McCartney’s high waist printed shorts. Slightly different than the orange and lemon print but still featuring an element of foodiness. Where, you ask? Use your imagination.
And finally, it’s a toss up for outerwear between Carven’s cream and Dolce & Gabbana’s stroke-inducing lace trim jacquard coat. I would definitely date this jacket.

…As it happens, I have strayed from my initial point, but come on now, this outfit is oozing with de-bonerfide and simultaneously delectable rightness. Roight? Roight?

Before I sign off, I offer this: should you decide to DIY the proper trend for yourself, here’s a tip.

Yo, I’m so Stella McCartney chic. 

Cut up oranges. Wear against something yellow, graze over nipples. Perhaps bring closer together. Now you’re exuding inherent appreciation for Stella and Prada. It’s a job well done. (Dress by Tibi.)

I also suggest using assemblies of bananas for shoulder pads, but we can talk about that later.

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