Staying Single: 1 Piece, 3 Ways

Amada Uprichard, $129 at Helianthus NY

In the newest of installments to sprinkle my blog: 1 Piece, 3 Ways. Today's edition calls forward an aspirational nudge at dear ol' mother nature as I feature a purple floral print strapless cropped blouse. If ever it stops raining and treading the 45 degree mark, I promise that I will wear this. And it will be offensive. 

Below you'll find three different styling techniques to take the pretty top from flirty to dirty. No sexual connotation included. I just wanted to rhyme.
1. Print Blocking 

blazer: Zimmermann, blouse: Amanda Uprichard, shorts: Forever 21, shoes: Christian Louboutin

Look #1 features three different types of floral prints which essentially means I am monochroming. That is pretty awesome. More awesome though that the swing shorts that look like a skirt and the blazer that looks like a curtain from your grandmother's house upstate, are the shoe. My little pony goes drag. And look what they can do.

Rrrriba! Skin tones are changing! This is awkward!

...There they go again. As you can see, this outfit ceases to exist without the purple insert beneath the blazer. And while I don't mean to give my mother a heart attack because she prefers no one stand on this balcony, 26 flights up, look...what...I...can...do.

I am thrilled I didn't plumment down to my death, more so that my face made this fantastic gesture to warm all your hearts. 

And...moving forward.

2. Layers, layers, lots o'naysayers.

dress: Jay Godfrey, yellow sweater: Dallin Chase, trench vest: Fulton, shoes: Alexander Wang

In this look you see, I layered the blouse over a strapless dress. What's that? You don't believe me?

See? See? I would never lie to you. This is something you should learn now. 

art deco right: YSL, cocktail ring: Lucid New York

Look, the frog matches my nails. It's the little things. Like ceramic frogs. 

And finally, last but not least:

3. Offensive Jeans: This look is a sort of way just to demonstrate to you how offensive one little ol' pair of jeans could be.

jeans: Bel Air, sandals: Proenza Schouler

I bought these in Paris, which should explain a lot. They're high waist, they're harem and for the sake of social experiment I should note that it was not until warmer temperatures subsided in France and I was no longer permitted to wear the pants that I started interacting in any capacity with men that were not my French teacher or creperie owners. This is true. As aforementioned, I'd never lie to you.

They're my favorite. This one represents a crouching tiger, hidden crotch of sorts.

And this one represents how cute as a button I am! Just kidding, judgmental Jerries. Don't get your granny panties in a twist.

Ultimately, this post is intended to acknowledge and celebrate the multitude of ways you, me, everybody could style a simple little baby blouse and let it unleash it's dormant repelling skills. 

Because let it be known, everything has the power to repel. Except Kim Kardashian probably.


Shop Helianthus here.